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Why do you delay marriage ppl...

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  • ibn taym
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    I think for some it is because of lack of time.School, work, training and seeking ilm takes a lot of one's time

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  • RedBirdie
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Though guy has yet to appear,I believe.Alhamdull'ILLAH, had a very good dream repeated twice about marriage, yesterday,for myself,Alhamdull'ILLAH.

    Things will get better as soon as Khilafah of Mahdi comes for righteous people in Ummah.
    Last edited by RedBirdie; 06-03-17, 03:49 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • RedBirdie
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    [QUOTE=Dinobot;7339669]I will post it as soon I can find the link.



    It's a smart move. Never reveal or give yourself away. It can and will be used against you.
    [\QUOTE]

    I wouldn't have done it either but my trials increased&I'm into this independent Jihad through spreading ilm of all these relative topics ,so i had been getting much checking on emails,Dms etc.And I was under massive trials which I explained for the benefit of my family&future spouse who my mom&me seen ,Alhamdull'ILLAH in dreams since years,signyfying of a good wise tested with hardships ,with ilm&good manners on the similar track!Because, kuffar ,as we have been seeing,doing too much Intel. On me & can use anything to defame my life&put my family in trouble through I'll reputing.Though,InshaALLAH, marriage will happen at its time&the guy is also real,exists...So,before anything, the repute of family & mine is first, InshaALLAH.... & to let believers know the truth for my family&female servants ,all if them know me well until difficulty iu increased & I had to speak here.I know it's not liked for a woman to speak about her life but my situation demanded&my family would like to know truth.So,it's a reminder for those who hear things about me ,to know that I was not an evil character but came towards in the end the most struggling times when Aleppo was falling&when I made journeys FisabeelIllah&got ALONGWITH me haasid Qareen.
    Then I slowly got super psycho episodes in Dec &couldn't understand a bit but I did understand it but it was acute torture & pls keep me in Duas. My problem is huge,just to give an idea,I posted that thread "dad wants me to leave" etc&members section thread.
    JazakAllah hu khayra
    Last edited by RedBirdie; 06-03-17, 03:43 AM.

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  • Thunder94
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
    By talking to her without wali's presence it was basically to talk about important urgent matters without the need for a third party approval. Before everything would go through him. But once the formalities has finished and marriage date have been set then it was logical. She was too religious I though compared to me, In the end I realised it was me who needed to improve massively. I thought she was an extremist at one point lool.

    As for getting the word out I am not sure what you mean. I do not reveal what I want straight away. Otherwise people would put up a front right away. Its how sifted the truly religious from the fakesters
    Is that allowed though? I thought 100% of contact with her needs to be with the wali there?

    And by thinking she was an extremist, what exactly does she do that gave you that initial impression? Pray tahajjud every night for example - although I'm not sure if that even is considered extreme.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by sajid View Post
    ....Then you have people who just don't want to get married... (Full Stop)

    Its not because of reasons mentioned in the thread..it is just they don't want to get married....
    its as if they have no interest whatsoever
    That I really can't understand..

    it's simple and I definitely understand it

    it is better to be single rather than getting married to a looney catooney

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
    I will post it as soon I can find the link.



    It's a smart move. Never reveal or give yourself away. It can and will be used against you.
    As for reverts, I have a basic policy on them. lo maso dowado generally. From experience.
    Ok inshaAllah - is it in English?

    Hmm. Ok usually I just say all my bad qualities to see how they will react. Is this good or bad?

    What does that mean?

    Leave a comment:


  • Dinobot
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Lol ok can you share the link please?
    I will post it as soon I can find the link.

    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
    I do that too because I don't want to reveal anything of myself before I know who I am revealing it too. But I don't know if that's a smart move.

    Also what would your advice be regarding reverts?
    It's a smart move. Never reveal or give yourself away. It can and will be used against you.
    As for reverts, I have a basic policy on them. lo maso dowado generally. From experience.

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
    I do not reveal what I want straight away. Otherwise people would put up a front right away. Its how sifted the truly religious from the fakesters
    I do that too because I don't want to reveal anything of myself before I know who I am revealing it too. But I don't know if that's a smart move.

    Also what would your advice be regarding reverts?

    Leave a comment:


  • Dinobot
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Thunder94 View Post
    What do you mean talking to her without her wali's presence - I thought that wasn't allowed? Also, you mentioned elsewhere that maybe she was "too religious" - but then realized that that just meant you had things to work on. I'm just curious what things that she does that initially made you think she was too religious? Also, since deen had a high importance to you, how did you get the word out that you were strictly looking for girls on the deen? Did you tell family members / friends not to suggest anyone unless their deen was on point?
    By talking to her without wali's presence it was basically to talk about important urgent matters without the need for a third party approval. Before everything would go through him. But once the formalities has finished and marriage date have been set then it was logical. She was too religious I though compared to me, In the end I realised it was me who needed to improve massively. I thought she was an extremist at one point lool.

    As for getting the word out I am not sure what you mean. I do not reveal what I want straight away. Otherwise people would put up a front right away. Its how sifted the truly religious from the fakesters

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Lol ok can you share the link please?

    Leave a comment:


  • Dinobot
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Allahumma baarik sounds like you got your real treasure of this world

    i felt really happy reading your experience so :jkk: for sharing it

    and it's good to know that the waswasa were extinguished with istikhaara each time. And you sound like you are also very slow to trust people because you are right people are able to put on a front and some are quite masterful in doing so. I'm glad as a man you took your time to do this as many men don't really think of the consequences so intensely

    :jkk: dinobot I'm glad Allah swt even gave me the opportunity to read your posts

    and I will pray for even more contentment between you and your wife inshaAllah

    Is there anything you would advise sisters to look out for when it comes to a brother, like did your wife also need that time to analyse you?

    Leave a comment:


  • Eorlingas
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Shardul View Post
    Why delay?

    Heart wants an exotic Arab/Pakistani/South Asian Philipines girl.

    Mind says very unlikely to find such a girl with deen who will also like brown skinned Bengali (inferior race).

    Looking for a similar beauty in same race but in vain.

    Cannot settle the struggle if I should be realistic and settle down or waste my life living on fantasy. Don't want to marry someone without being able to give 100% either.

    I learned how difficult it is love someone for the sake of Allah. Easy to say but when put down to test.....
    Hey don't blame the fact your a loser on being Bengali. Golden brown skin is luvverly lol..also plenty of pale skinned Bengali women out there ..your self loathing vibe must put them off lol

    Leave a comment:


  • Thunder94
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    What do you mean talking to her without her wali's presence - I thought that wasn't allowed? Also, you mentioned elsewhere that maybe she was "too religious" - but then realized that that just meant you had things to work on. I'm just curious what things that she does that initially made you think she was too religious? Also, since deen had a high importance to you, how did you get the word out that you were strictly looking for girls on the deen? Did you tell family members / friends not to suggest anyone unless their deen was on point?

    Leave a comment:


  • sajid
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    ....Then you have people who just don't want to get married... (Full Stop)

    Its not because of reasons mentioned in the thread..it is just they don't want to get married....
    its as if they have no interest whatsoever
    That I really can't understand..

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
    You don't ask you don't get.
    Loll nah i wanna get married cleann

    Leave a comment:

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