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Why do you delay marriage ppl...

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  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Faith reloaded View Post
    True dat

    Without revealing too much, i am a revert myself.

    I believe one of the main reasons why a lot of reverts are more passionate about their faith is because they've actually bothered to learn about it, they've enquired, pondered, and questioned. They know what it's like to live a life with and without Islam. They believe with conviction

    Loads of Muslims who have been born into the religion really dont do hat stuff, ubfortunately. So they're lax about their salah etc.
    I thought you were Bengali born Muslim.

    Leave a comment:


  • Faith reloaded
    replied
    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    Being a revert doesn't mean the person is or has to be white.

    There are south Asian reverts, African reverts, Chinese reverts and the list goes on.

    Just saying.
    True dat

    Without revealing too much, i am a revert myself.

    I believe one of the main reasons why a lot of reverts are more passionate about their faith is because they've actually bothered to learn about it, they've enquired, pondered, and questioned. They know what it's like to live a life with and without Islam. They believe with conviction

    Loads of Muslims who have been born into the religion really dont do hat stuff, ubfortunately. So they're lax about their salah etc.

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    Being a revert doesn't mean the person is or has to be white.

    There are south Asian reverts, African reverts, Chinese reverts and the list goes on.

    Just saying.
    Yes I know of a Revert from Uruguay and allahumma baarik he is on the deen. His wife is Pakistani and had been married before but it didn't work out. They get on so well allahumma baarik.

    He is very practicing though and trying to get at least one masjid In Uruguay cos for some reason South America is really lacking Islam.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Being a revert doesn't mean the person is or has to be white.

    There are south Asian reverts, African reverts, Chinese reverts and the list goes on.

    Just saying.

    Leave a comment:


  • Eorlingas
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
    You can force them not to give up -_-
    Ha you know that's not how it works

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Eorlingas View Post
    There is that extra concern with a revert that if/when the going gets tough they may just do a runner as they don't usually have the family/community pressure to try and work things out...but hey it beats marrying a South Asian eh? Lol
    You can force them not to give up -_-

    Leave a comment:


  • Eorlingas
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
    :jkk: shayby

    the revert marriages I know are strong allahumma baarik. Mainly cos the men (reverts) are v strong allahumma baarik.

    But I felt doubtful when I read that cos one revert married a girl and then a couple of years later he had a child with her and then just left. So I don't know maybe it was too much.
    There is that extra concern with a revert that if/when the going gets tough they may just do a runner as they don't usually have the family/community pressure to try and work things out...but hey it beats marrying a South Asian eh? Lol

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by HelloEverybody View Post
    People like this exist in britain? I thought most 2nd generation have forgotten "Bangla basha".
    Yes. Can I ask what kind of Bengalis you think exist in the UK?

    I don't know which country you reside in but here in the UK and I think in other countries of the West, there are some areas where certain ethnic groups are the majority so most of them carry on with what they traditionally eat, wear and practise because it's allowed to do so and this gets passed down to their kids who end up getting more familiar with their culture.

    For example, there's a place called brick lane, I've heard it's exactly like Bangladesh. The street sign is written in Bangla. People can choose Bangla as a subject for their GCSE. There are private tuitions available for parents who want their kids to learn bangla, baul gaan and poetry, the parents also hire an Arabic teacher for the kids to learn the Quran.

    I know some girls learn the traditional old folk dancing and songs. Don't be so surprised if a young Bengali mentions Nazrul Islam. I have a Bengali poem and stories book. Bengali poets are very talented and if you know the Bengali language quite well you'll appreciate this talent and see how creative these people are.


    On the other hand, you have British Bengalis that grew up speaking English who didn't see the importance of learning their mother tongue and no one encouraged them either. Some don't value it and would rather speak another language.

    My parents spoke Bengali with us all the time at home and we learnt English at school. If you're given the opportunity to learn (anything) you should seize it because it's a bonus in my opinion. I have had the opportunity to do some work I would never have done if I didn't speak or understand Bengali. I enjoyed it and would pursue it when given the opportunity again.

    Some of the second generation of Bengalis know there culture well and when you visit Bangladesh people are surprised that you don't look like a 'londoni' because the image they have is of a person quite well fed, a bit of weight on the face, someone that wears tight jeans and sunglasses, one million times a shade lighter and for girls having the hair down, doesn't know a word of Bengali, as well running away to the woods alone as some dumb British girl who wants to see the greenery.

    I admit, I do like doing the latter though, but the 'booth' stories and leaving your janella open are :wacko:

    :rotfl:

    It's not safe. If you want to know more head over to the amar shunar bangla thread. And you can discuss it in Bengali.

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
    He is wrong...just because he saw one incident and maybe in his community the woman wasn't supported he thinks it is his right to tell women on here not to marry outside their race...I know plenty of interracial marriages and alhumdulilah they work.....I find it disgusting when certain brothers here who always happen to be from the same culture tell Muslims not to marry outside their race.....if it is halal and you do your research and take everything into account before entering such a marriage then what is the problem?
    :jkk: shayby

    the revert marriages I know are strong allahumma baarik. Mainly cos the men (reverts) are v strong allahumma baarik.

    But I felt doubtful when I read that cos one revert married a girl and then a couple of years later he had a child with her and then just left. So I don't know maybe it was too much.

    Leave a comment:


  • RaNdOm
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
    Your potential was arguing with you something silly and you're not even married yet, is that the sort of commonality you are referring too. Nice of the wali to relax the rules on that one.
    Rude

    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
    Does your wife knows you are chatting up sisters on a forum? yeah. thought so. You just keep embarrassing yourself making useless assumptions.
    Ego

    Leave a comment:


  • HelloEverybody
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    Some people are more in touch with their roots and better suited with those from the same background. It depends on the individual and whatever they think is best for them.

    For example. a British Bengali that is quite western but still sees themselves as practising or 'religiously' inclined would be more suitable for someone like themselves or any other British Muslim of whatever origin who are similarly more British than whatever their ethnic origin.

    For others like myself, I see myself as someone that wants her ethnicity and culture to play a role in the marriage because I speak Bangla at home, I wear Bengali clothes, sometimes I watch Bengali news to see what's happening in BD, my lifestyle is bangla but I also have British 'values'.

    I'm very familiar with having non muslim company but if I had to live with someone, they would have to have be Bengali like myself and brought up in the UK at least so 50/50.

    I like to think of it as having the best of both worlds.

    I'd clash with someone that has no connection with his Bengali background, we wouldn't get along at all, I'd be 'too freshy' for him. There wouldn't be any compatibility.
    People like this exist in britain? I thought most 2nd generation have forgotten "Bangla basha".

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Some people are more in touch with their roots and better suited with those from the same background. It depends on the individual and whatever they think is best for them.

    For example. a British Bengali that is quite western but still sees themselves as practising or 'religiously' inclined would be more suitable for someone like themselves or any other British Muslim of whatever origin who are similarly more British than whatever their ethnic origin.

    For others like myself, I see myself as someone that wants her ethnicity and culture to play a role in the marriage because I speak Bangla at home, I wear Bengali clothes, sometimes I watch Bengali news to see what's happening in BD, my lifestyle is bangla but I also have British 'values'.

    I'm very familiar with having non muslim company but if I had to live with someone, they would have to have be Bengali like myself and brought up in the UK at least so 50/50.

    I like to think of it as having the best of both worlds.

    I'd clash with someone that has no connection with his Bengali background, we wouldn't get along at all, I'd be 'too freshy' for him. There wouldn't be any compatibility.

    Leave a comment:


  • Gingerbeardman
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Re problems with some reverts. It certainly exists and someone coming from jahiliyyah to Islam is going to have some rough edges and issues which are going to take time to sort through.

    On top of this many reverts have baggage problems from their past, especially when it comes to relationships which can cause extra friction in marriage.
    yes others have these problems also quite often who are not reverts, but it's rare for reverts not to have something in their past which could well cause a problem or two in a marriage if brought up.

    Finally... there are cultural difference issues as well. Yes a somali or pakistani, bengali etc born and raised in the UK is going to have more in common with someone else born and raised here than someone from their home country, whether revert or from a different Muslim majority ethnicity but there are still differences.

    We cannot ignore these potential pitfalls, because they are there are need to be prepared for and if you cannot or will not face such problems then move along, marrying a revert is not for you.

    Leave a comment:


  • Gingerbeardman
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
    They do work, this man's just got Somali on the brain.
    reminds me of some somali nationalist trolls we had causing a problem here a while ago

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
    Why?

    from experience

    the answer doesn't match the question though
    He is wrong...just because he saw one incident and maybe in his community the woman wasn't supported he thinks it is his right to tell women on here not to marry outside their race...I know plenty of interracial marriages and alhumdulilah they work.....I find it disgusting when certain brothers here who always happen to be from the same culture tell Muslims not to marry outside their race.....if it is halal and you do your research and take everything into account before entering such a marriage then what is the problem?

    Leave a comment:

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