Why do you delay marriage ppl...

[HelloEverybody]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

wow, that's cool at least you didn't care about skin colour

that's good to know, usually the Bengali boys prefer white sisters or the trend at the moment is oriental sisters lol

hmm... to most people here, who are blonde white and saw first black people in 1970s, growing up here I was considered as black and I considered myself black too and no different to other blacks. Later in years, maybe in highschool or so, learned that there is thing called "african-black" and "asian-black".

I would imagine most bengali boys have seen only few white people, so they would want something rare. A lot bengali boys who come here as student get crazy about white women ... it is their loss.

[Ya'sin]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

hmm... I wanted marry somali women, no one particular just muslim some women ... only muslim women available here.

wow, that's cool at least you didn't care about skin colour

that's good to know, usually the Bengali boys prefer white sisters or the trend at the moment is oriental sisters lol

[HelloEverybody]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

Yeah me too. It was my youth speaking. My first love was a Pakistani. She was from Peshawir. A Pashtu no less. let me make it clear back nothing untoward happened her. Just two young kids in a crush. Naturally i thought it made no difference what the ethnicity was. But when you get older you start to realise a few things

hmm... I wanted marry somali women, no one particular just muslim some women ... only muslim women available here.

[Dinobot]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

hmm... few years back I had all sort of races in my mind for marriage... now I'm planning to stick on own.. stability

Yeah me too. It was my youth speaking. My first love was a Pakistani. She was from Peshawir. A Pashtu no less. let me make it clear back nothing untoward happened her. Just two young kids in a crush. Naturally i thought it made no difference what the ethnicity was. But when you get older you start to realise a few things

[Ya'sin]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

random is Pakistani? lol i didn't know that.

It is not a question of just getting along, it's a question of creating and favouring the odds in your favour. Especially if you run into marriage trouble. You need a lot of stability and foundation to fall back on. I see race as being part of it. Especially when it comes to in laws resolving marriage issues. But this is just my opinion. 5 Years ago i didn't really care much about ethnicity as well. At one point i was interested in a Pakistani sister. But after running it through i realised it was not going to work. That's when i wised up to my current opinion

yep, she's a Pakistani

I feel the same because of compatibility issues

I know it sounds stupid but I'm not keen on speaking English 24/7 and balancing two cultures, there's a lot to take in, we have relatives that have married people of other ethnicities and it works for them because they're just not that close to the bengali culture

I think they'd feel left out with all these traditions and it's just a lot of effort

it makes it easier for my wali to find a Bengali and seek references, there's more connections and you can check their lineage etc, everything is more familiar, for anyone non Bengali, where do you even start because it's all very limited, we don't even know anyone

also, expectations might be different, I know we're all muslims but there are things some of us are more used to than others who might find it odd

[HelloEverybody]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

random is Pakistani? lol i didn't know that.

It is not a question of just getting along, it's a question of creating and favouring the odds in your favour. Especially if you run into marriage trouble. You need a lot of stability and foundation to fall back on. I see race as being part of it. Especially when it comes to in laws resolving marriage issues. But this is just my opinion. 5 Years ago i didn't really care much about ethnicity as well. At one point i was interested in a Pakistani sister. But after running it through i realised it was not going to work. That's when i wised up to my current opinion

hmm... few years back I had all sort of races in my mind for marriage... now I'm planning to stick on own.. stability

[Dinobot]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

the thing is though, if she is quite British minded and not culturally inclined, then she can get along with any ethnicity for marriage because she doesn't see being Pakistani as something personal, or speak much of Urdu and has a British lifestyle and can survive without rotis and salan

don't know if you would agree or not [MENTION=7414]RaNdOm[/MENTION]

if that makes sense

random is Pakistani? lol i didn't know that.

It is not a question of just getting along, it's a question of creating and favouring the odds in your favour. Especially if you run into marriage trouble. You need a lot of stability and foundation to fall back on. I see race as being part of it. Especially when it comes to in laws resolving marriage issues. But this is just my opinion. 5 Years ago i didn't really care much about ethnicity as well. At one point i was interested in a Pakistani sister. But after running it through i realised it was not going to work. That's when i wised up to my current opinion

[Ya'sin]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

I don't humiliate anyone. The clown zizou who has a bug bear with anything somali saw it fit to get passive aggressive yet again whenever he sees a post that he doesn't like. I replied in kind exposing him.
I called you naļve because you can't force people to keep going and not give up if there is no commonality within the spouses.

This is why there is such a thing as a divorce in islam. The moral of the story sister is to avoid divorce marry someone whom you have a lot in common and race and religion is one of them

the thing is though, if she is quite British minded and not culturally inclined, then she can get along with any ethnicity for marriage because she doesn't see being Pakistani as something personal, or speak much of Urdu and has a British lifestyle and can survive without rotis and salan

don't know if you would agree or not [MENTION=7414]RaNdOm[/MENTION]

if that makes sense

[Dinobot]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

Why naive?

Dinobot I was taking all your posts as gold because you make a lot of sense. But when you humiliate and defame other people your words lose value.

I don't humiliate anyone. The clown zizou who has a bug bear with anything somali saw it fit to get passive aggressive yet again whenever he sees a post that he doesn't like. I replied in kind exposing him.
I called you naļve because you can't force people to keep going and not give up if there is no commonality within the spouses.

This is why there is such a thing as a divorce in islam. The moral of the story sister is to avoid divorce marry someone whom you have a lot in common and race and religion is one of them

[iRepIslam]

Why do you delay marriage ppl...

Bengalis united

[RaNdOm]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

Naive

Why naive?

Dinobot I was taking all your posts as gold because you make a lot of sense. But when you humiliate and defame other people your words lose value.

[Dinobot]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

Care to name the sisters? Your the one making the accusation.

You started a thread mentioning her arguing with you on various matters...I can dig out the thread if you really want to look like a tool.

Stop clowning yourself. The difference between me and you is that I don't engage in chit chat with the opposite sex on here. It's strictly professional. And that includes when I ask for advice on marriage from folks on here. You on the other hand....yeah no shortage of that. You are married too. And that makes it even worse

You can force them not to give up -_-

Naive

True dat

Without revealing too much, i am a revert myself.

I believe one of the main reasons why a lot of reverts are more passionate about their faith is because they've actually bothered to learn about it, they've enquired, pondered, and questioned. They know what it's like to live a life with and without Islam. They believe with conviction

Loads of Muslims who have been born into the religion really dont do hat stuff, ubfortunately. So they're lax about their salah etc.

Yeah we see how too much passion ends up with some reverts. Making takfeer on ulema on people based on some shady quotes of people. Some who have led a life of sleeping around and now find it difficult with Islamic restrictions suddenly use the concept of polygamy to get around it. So this is not a question about passion here. It's a question of can reverts leave their jahiliyah behind. Some do and some don't. And in this day and age when there are more women then men and men have plenty to choose from, it becomes imperative for women to make the right choice. It becomes a question of statistics. And statistics do not lie. Numbers do not lie. The more you have in common with your spouse the more likelihood the marriage remains firm.

Love is not a stable foundation by itself.

By the way big up the Bengalis on here. All the Bengalis I have come into contact with have became close friends. Still keep in touch with them no matter what

[iRepIslam]

[MENTION=100194]Ya'sin[/MENTION]

Tryna figure out how Bengali I am..

Aside from my Bengali sounding very English I think I'm alright with our culture... snm

Big up fish

[HelloEverybody]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

I thought you were Bengali born Muslim.

I thought too!

[HelloEverybody]

Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

Yes. Can I ask what kind of Bengalis you think exist in the UK?

I don't know which country you reside in but here in the UK and I think in other countries of the West, there are some areas where certain ethnic groups are the majority so most of them carry on with what they traditionally eat, wear and practise because it's allowed to do so and this gets passed down to their kids who end up getting more familiar with their culture.

For example, there's a place called brick lane, I've heard it's exactly like Bangladesh. The street sign is written in Bangla. People can choose Bangla as a subject for their GCSE. There are private tuitions available for parents who want their kids to learn bangla, baul gaan and poetry, the parents also hire an Arabic teacher for the kids to learn the Quran.

I know some girls learn the traditional old folk dancing and songs. Don't be so surprised if a young Bengali mentions Nazrul Islam. I have a Bengali poem and stories book. Bengali poets are very talented and if you know the Bengali language quite well you'll appreciate this talent and see how creative these people are.


On the other hand, you have British Bengalis that grew up speaking English who didn't see the importance of learning their mother tongue and no one encouraged them either. Some don't value it and would rather speak another language.

My parents spoke Bengali with us all the time at home and we learnt English at school. If you're given the opportunity to learn (anything) you should seize it because it's a bonus in my opinion. I have had the opportunity to do some work I would never have done if I didn't speak or understand Bengali. I enjoyed it and would pursue it when given the opportunity again.

Some of the second generation of Bengalis know there culture well and when you visit Bangladesh people are surprised that you don't look like a 'londoni' because the image they have is of a person quite well fed, a bit of weight on the face, someone that wears tight jeans and sunglasses, one million times a shade lighter and for girls having the hair down, doesn't know a word of Bengali, as well running away to the woods alone as some dumb British girl who wants to see the greenery.

I admit, I do like doing the latter though, but the 'booth' stories and leaving your janella open are :wacko:

:rotfl:

It's not safe. If you want to know more head over to the amar shunar bangla thread. And you can discuss it in Bengali.

I thought all Bengali origins in britain have forgotten "bangla basha" , are about british things and apostatized and minority of those who remained muslims are about rejecting all british things, but speak english.

I didn't realize that you have institutions that sole purpose is to maintain "bangali" culture. You can hire teachers to learn Quran too? Bangla as a GCSE subject?

When growing up most families moved to UK or moved back to Bangladesh. Minority parents who stayed taught spoke their kids with only local language native land. I recall two Bengali guys growing up here, but both of them are now with their white girlfriends. I have heard of one Bengali women who grew up here, who isn't way old or way younger then me. Most older Bengali women had usually import husbands or get white boyfriend and younger one are still kids. My folks were outlier as they always thought going back to bangladesh so they spoke "bangla basha" and taught us "bangla lekha-pora", then things happened and going back to Bangladesh wasn't realistic thing. I cannot read bangla anymore. My father tried get into UK 30 years back, but got rejected so he came here.

There are new generation of bengalis here, but they seem too liberal to me and I seem too extreme to them. we don't fit and my folks don't really care of connecting up with younger generation.