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  • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
    wow, that's cool at least you didn't care about skin colour

    that's good to know, usually the Bengali boys prefer white sisters or the trend at the moment is oriental sisters lol
    hmm... to most people here, who are blonde white and saw first black people in 1970s, growing up here I was considered as black and I considered myself black too and no different to other blacks. Later in years, maybe in highschool or so, learned that there is thing called "african-black" and "asian-black".

    I would imagine most bengali boys have seen only few white people, so they would want something rare. A lot bengali boys who come here as student get crazy about white women ... it is their loss.

    Comment


    • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

      Originally posted by HelloEverybody View Post
      hmm... to most people here, who are blonde white and saw first black people in 1970s, growing up here I was considered as black and I considered myself black too and no different to other blacks. Later in years, maybe in highschool or so, learned that there is thing called "african-black" and "asian-black".

      I would imagine most bengali boys have seen only few white people, so they would want something rare. A lot bengali boys who come here as student get crazy about white women ... it is their loss.
      it's alright, I just find it surprising because as you know in south Asian culture being fairer is seen as being more beautiful so that's why I commented

      but it doesn't matter because people can marry whoever and whatever lol
      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

      Comment


      • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

        Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
        .

        By the way big up the Bengalis on here. All the Bengalis I have come into contact with have became close friends. Still keep in touch with them no matter what
        Kudifo Walaalo

        Comment


        • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

          Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
          random is Pakistani? lol i didn't know that.

          It is not a question of just getting along, it's a question of creating and favouring the odds in your favour. Especially if you run into marriage trouble. You need a lot of stability and foundation to fall back on. I see race as being part of it. Especially when it comes to in laws resolving marriage issues. But this is just my opinion. 5 Years ago i didn't really care much about ethnicity as well. At one point i was interested in a Pakistani sister. But after running it through i realised it was not going to work. That's when i wised up to my current opinion
          Yeh apparently I sound Somali - I don't know how, since we're all typing in English

          I don't know if I fit in with Pakistani culture. But alhamdulillah I would have the support of my family. That's why I didn't think it would be an issue. When I was younger I wanted a Pakistani because it's easier and like they would understand subcontext and not everything would be so foreign. Even just manners/communicating cos every Pakistani knows when someone offers you food, you have to decline at least a couple of times before you dig in lol. Or how you must never be sitting on the chair if there is someone older than you in the room. But a lot of that is just politeness and manners. So I thought about it and I didn't think it would be a problem. My Urdu is pretty rubbish so I would most likely be a burden in a Pakistani household -_- and there wouldn't need to be any explanations for cling film around the remote or why the walls ice cream boxes contain something other than ice cream. My Pakistani friends sometimes call me clueless so I'm actually more afraid of getting married into a Pakistani household where there would be more expectations.

          I find differences stimulating and they keep me more alert and alive. This is why everyone says marry someone who has a lot in common or is similar to you. But I am more inclined to marry someone completely opposite so my weaknesses are his strengths and vice versa. As long as his love of Allah swt surpasses any love in dunya I think that is common ground enough. That is a fair man who is aware of the priorities in life, the rights of those he is close to and someone who will put just as much effort into helping me attain the best akhira as I would put into him inshaAllah.

          If anything, I thought differences would help keep it together because if you are both so very different there is a recognition and therefore hopefully understanding of this. You're more likely to tolerate things where otherwise you might hold expectations. If my husband was Pakistani and he didn't pour in tea for all the elders first, I would be thinking -_- ?!!!?! But if he wasn't Pakistani I would be thinking oh ok maybe they don't do it like that... so would let him know after.

          But yeh
          ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
          "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
          :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

          Comment


          • Why do you delay marriage ppl...

            [MENTION=7414]RaNdOm[/MENTION]

            Yes u do sound Somali
            إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

            Comment


            • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

              Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
              @RaNdOm

              Yes u do sound Somali
              Lol how are you supposed to sound Somali exactly

              is it cos there isn't a strange whiff of curry everytime I post?
              ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
              "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
              :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

              Comment


              • Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                Lol

                I'm joking. U sound like a typical British stani
                إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

                Comment


                • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                  Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                  the thing is though, if she is quite British minded and not culturally inclined, then she can get along with any ethnicity for marriage because she doesn't see being Pakistani as something personal, or speak much of Urdu and has a British lifestyle and can survive without rotis and salan

                  don't know if you would agree or not @RaNdOm

                  if that makes sense
                  Yeh I would agree with that plus on how accepting you are and whether your family is supportive of it. A lot of marriages fail because there is no support for the couple when things go poof. You need the backing and support of friends/family who will place positive thoughts and kind words into each party when things are under strain.

                  Most of the people I know are divorced because of issues with in laws. You think that as long as husband/wife get along it wouldn't matter, but it does matter because Islam focuses around community and giving rights to those who are owed them. This is a problem if the in laws/family are not supportive.

                  This could be an issue if there was a revert who's family was against me. But alhamdulillah I have support that would speak against me for truth and justice and since I trust them I would obey lol
                  ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                  "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                  :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                  Comment


                  • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                    Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                    Lol

                    I'm joking. U sound like a typical British stani
                    -_- I don't know how to take any of these comments
                    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                    Comment


                    • Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                      Just laugh n smile n be like yh that's me
                      إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

                      Comment


                      • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                        Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                        Yeh apparently I sound Somali - I don't know how, since we're all typing in English

                        I don't know if I fit in with Pakistani culture. But alhamdulillah I would have the support of my family. That's why I didn't think it would be an issue. When I was younger I wanted a Pakistani because it's easier and like they would understand subcontext and not everything would be so foreign. Even just manners/communicating cos every Pakistani knows when someone offers you food, you have to decline at least a couple of times before you dig in lol. Or how you must never be sitting on the chair if there is someone older than you in the room. But a lot of that is just politeness and manners. So I thought about it and I didn't think it would be a problem. My Urdu is pretty rubbish so I would most likely be a burden in a Pakistani household -_- and there wouldn't need to be any explanations for cling film around the remote or why the walls ice cream boxes contain something other than ice cream. My Pakistani friends sometimes call me clueless so I'm actually more afraid of getting married into a Pakistani household where there would be more expectations.

                        I find differences stimulating and they keep me more alert and alive. This is why everyone says marry someone who has a lot in common or is similar to you. But I am more inclined to marry someone completely opposite so my weaknesses are his strengths and vice versa. As long as his love of Allah swt surpasses any love in dunya I think that is common ground enough. That is a fair man who is aware of the priorities in life, the rights of those he is close to and someone who will put just as much effort into helping me attain the best akhira as I would put into him inshaAllah.

                        If anything, I thought differences would help keep it together because if you are both so very different there is a recognition and therefore hopefully understanding of this. You're more likely to tolerate things where otherwise you might hold expectations. If my husband was Pakistani and he didn't pour in tea for all the elders first, I would be thinking -_- ?!!!?! But if he wasn't Pakistani I would be thinking oh ok maybe they don't do it like that... so would let him know after.

                        But yeh
                        Do you think a marriage between a pakistani and non-pakistani could work?

                        Comment


                        • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                          Originally posted by DaughterOfAdam View Post
                          Do you think a marriage between a pakistani and non-pakistani could work?
                          Yeh defo by Allah swt permission, why?
                          ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                          "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                          :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                          Comment


                          • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                            Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                            Yeh defo by Allah swt permission, why?
                            Just curious lol

                            Comment


                            • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                              Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                              Yeh apparently I sound Somali - I don't know how, since we're all typing in English
                              Don't worry. Apparently I sound like a man.
                              مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                              "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                              It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                              Surah al-Baqarah
                              [2:245]

                              .:.
                              .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                              Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                              .:.
                              ...said the spider to the fly...

                              Comment


                              • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                                Originally posted by Pippin1376 View Post
                                Don't worry. Apparently I sound like a man.
                                It's the name + the avatar.

                                Comment

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