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  • #316
    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    I think for some it is because of lack of time.School, work, training and seeking ilm takes a lot of one's time
    No one who has learned Qurān and then forgotten it except due to a sin he has committed

    Comment

    • #317
      Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

      Originally posted by Thunder94 View Post
      Is that allowed though? I thought 100% of contact with her needs to be with the wali there?

      And by thinking she was an extremist, what exactly does she do that gave you that initial impression? Pray tahajjud every night for example - although I'm not sure if that even is considered extreme.
      It is not allowed which is why you ask the permission of the wali. Well I thought she was a bit too extreme because of her ideals and mannerisms at times and objectives for me. Like at point she wanted to remake me into something else

      Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
      Ok inshaAllah - is it in English?

      Hmm. Ok usually I just say all my bad qualities to see how they will react. Is this good or bad?

      What does that mean?
      Somali.
      Don't give out qualities. Just don't give out your personality likes to early in the game. You can give your expectations and what you expect the man to do from a financial and bringing up a family sort of thing. Important coz they are deadbeats and timewasters and playas around. Serious men who are looking for marriage are what you should be focused on. WHo can provide and financially stable and reputable as well. But that's your walis job to confirm

      As for reverts I thought you knew somali....

      Comment

      • #318
        Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

        Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
        It is not allowed which is why you ask the permission of the wali. Well I thought she was a bit too extreme because of her ideals and mannerisms at times and objectives for me. Like at point she wanted to remake me into something else



        Somali.
        Don't give out qualities. Just don't give out your personality likes to early in the game. You can give your expectations and what you expect the man to do from a financial and bringing up a family sort of thing. Important coz they are deadbeats and timewasters and playas around. Serious men who are looking for marriage are what you should be focused on. WHo can provide and financially stable and reputable as well. But that's your walis job to confirm

        As for reverts I thought you knew somali....
        i test the subject

        but no I don't... what about them
        ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
        "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
        :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

        Comment

        • #319
          Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

          Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
          i test the subject

          but no I don't... what about them
          Avoid interracial marriages in this day and age especially in the west. I am talking from experiences here.

          Comment

          • #320
            Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

            Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
            Avoid interracial marriages in this day and age especially in the west. I am talking from experiences here.
            Really? Why?
            ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
            "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
            :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

            Comment

            • #321
              Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

              Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
              It is not allowed which is why you ask the permission of the wali. Well I thought she was a bit too extreme because of her ideals and mannerisms at times and objectives for me. Like at point she wanted to remake me into something else
              Sorry I'm just a little confused. If it's not allowed to talk to her in private, isn't it not allowed regardless of whether or not you got the permission of the wali? Not trying to be rude, I'm genuinely trying to understand what's allowed/ not allowed Islamically.
              ***Reminder- It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that RasulAllah :saw: said: Whoever reads Tabaarak allaathi bi yadihi’l-mulk [i.e., Soorat al-Mulk] every night, Allaah will protect him from the torment of the grave.
              And never think that Allah is unaware of what the wrongdoers do. He only delays them for a Day when eyes will stare [in horror]. [Quran, 14:42]

              Comment

              • #322
                Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                Really? Why?
                It leads to disaster more often than not. Even if the couple are born muslims. And it gets worse if divorce happens coz there is no mechanism to fall back on for support. And the less said about reverts the better.

                Comment

                • #323
                  Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                  Originally posted by Thunder94 View Post
                  Sorry I'm just a little confused. If it's not allowed to talk to her in private, isn't it not allowed regardless of whether or not you got the permission of the wali? Not trying to be rude, I'm genuinely trying to understand what's allowed/ not allowed Islamically.
                  Like I said its not allowed. However considering the stage we are at in marriage and the wali knows me well and marriage is due to happen in the summer, the rules were relaxed by the wali. And its mostly to talk formal stuff or urgent things

                  Comment

                  • #324
                    Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
                    It leads to disaster more often than not. Even if the couple are born muslims. And it gets worse if divorce happens coz there is no mechanism to fall back on for support. And the less said about reverts the better.
                    Why...

                    @gingerbeardman

                    is this true?
                    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                    Comment

                    • #325
                      Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                      Damn....

                      (someone @gingerbeardman for me) I keep forgetting.
                      ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                      "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                      :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                      Comment

                      • #326
                        Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                        Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                        Why...

                        @gingerbeardman

                        is this true?
                        From experience.

                        Comment

                        • #327
                          Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                          Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
                          From experience.
                          Why?

                          from experience

                          the answer doesn't match the question though
                          ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                          "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                          :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                          Comment

                          • #328
                            Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                            Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                            Why?

                            from experience

                            the answer doesn't match the question though
                            huh? I don't get what u mean

                            Comment

                            • #329
                              Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                              Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
                              huh? I don't get what u mean
                              Why doesn't a revert/interracial marriage work? You're saying experience

                              But was the causative factor in your experience

                              culture clash? Lack of understanding? If you are both people that don't give up easily it can work right.
                              ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                              "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                              :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                              Comment

                              • #330
                                Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                                Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                                Damn....

                                (someone [MENTION=99637]Gingerbeardman[/MENTION] for me) I keep forgetting.
                                [MENTION=99637]Gingerbeardman[/MENTION]

                                Comment

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