Tweet
Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...
:) inshaAllah
may Allah swt grant you a wife who will be the coolness of your eyes always ameen
be cold and logical - v much the truth
Originally posted by Dinobot
View Post
I am going to marry this year so no more delaying for me. But a lot of my friends got married earlier than me and they are either struggling or have divorced. Because they all rushed into it. I didn't delay as much as I could not find a suitable wife. I have had family members try to set up with me for and truth be told it was easy for me to get married. I have everything I need in life alhamdulliah. And I don't look too bad for a somali. No big forehead light brown skin, curly wavy hair lol But in seriousness. I just could not find a proper religious girl. Most somali girls I have come across were immature and after talking to them gave me the impression they were still kids mentally. Plus culturally they were not....how shall I say somali enough. Perhaps it is the nature of living in a western country. You tend to pick up their habits. At one point I did consider going back to my hometown to look for a wife. But hey in the end, I found a religious wife. some might say too religious lol but I realised it wasn't that she was too religious. It was I wasn't religious enough. And I am working on that.
I wish everyone the best to find a spouse. Just remember there is nothing more valuable than a religious person because so long as they have the fear of Allah in them they would do good. You just have to watch for the phonies and posers pretending to be religious. That takes time. That's where your wali comes in sisters. And for the men, get your women folk to investigate as well. And finally. I have a rule when it comes to investigating who is genuine and who is not. The first year of talking is the year where your emotions and being in love clouds your mind. After the year, you will see everything clearly and logically. It is not a set rule but never ever make decisions emotionally when you are high in love. It can cloud your thinking. Be cold and logical. Make sure you are compatible with your potential. Make sure that your family and their family are completely gelled together. Make sure both of you have the right expectations for each other. There is nothing worse than getting to a marriage with unrealistic or wrong expectations. Remember people will lie to get hold of you if they think that's what it will take. Honesty these days is very short.
More importantly never cross the boundaries of the deen in an effort to get to know the person. A marriage that begins with barakah lasts longer. And there can be no barakah if you have committed a sin on the way to marriage.
I wish everyone the best to find a spouse. Just remember there is nothing more valuable than a religious person because so long as they have the fear of Allah in them they would do good. You just have to watch for the phonies and posers pretending to be religious. That takes time. That's where your wali comes in sisters. And for the men, get your women folk to investigate as well. And finally. I have a rule when it comes to investigating who is genuine and who is not. The first year of talking is the year where your emotions and being in love clouds your mind. After the year, you will see everything clearly and logically. It is not a set rule but never ever make decisions emotionally when you are high in love. It can cloud your thinking. Be cold and logical. Make sure you are compatible with your potential. Make sure that your family and their family are completely gelled together. Make sure both of you have the right expectations for each other. There is nothing worse than getting to a marriage with unrealistic or wrong expectations. Remember people will lie to get hold of you if they think that's what it will take. Honesty these days is very short.
More importantly never cross the boundaries of the deen in an effort to get to know the person. A marriage that begins with barakah lasts longer. And there can be no barakah if you have committed a sin on the way to marriage.
may Allah swt grant you a wife who will be the coolness of your eyes always ameen
be cold and logical - v much the truth
Comment