Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Why do you delay marriage ppl...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
    I am going to marry this year so no more delaying for me. But a lot of my friends got married earlier than me and they are either struggling or have divorced. Because they all rushed into it. I didn't delay as much as I could not find a suitable wife. I have had family members try to set up with me for and truth be told it was easy for me to get married. I have everything I need in life alhamdulliah. And I don't look too bad for a somali. No big forehead light brown skin, curly wavy hair lol But in seriousness. I just could not find a proper religious girl. Most somali girls I have come across were immature and after talking to them gave me the impression they were still kids mentally. Plus culturally they were not....how shall I say somali enough. Perhaps it is the nature of living in a western country. You tend to pick up their habits. At one point I did consider going back to my hometown to look for a wife. But hey in the end, I found a religious wife. some might say too religious lol but I realised it wasn't that she was too religious. It was I wasn't religious enough. And I am working on that.

    I wish everyone the best to find a spouse. Just remember there is nothing more valuable than a religious person because so long as they have the fear of Allah in them they would do good. You just have to watch for the phonies and posers pretending to be religious. That takes time. That's where your wali comes in sisters. And for the men, get your women folk to investigate as well. And finally. I have a rule when it comes to investigating who is genuine and who is not. The first year of talking is the year where your emotions and being in love clouds your mind. After the year, you will see everything clearly and logically. It is not a set rule but never ever make decisions emotionally when you are high in love. It can cloud your thinking. Be cold and logical. Make sure you are compatible with your potential. Make sure that your family and their family are completely gelled together. Make sure both of you have the right expectations for each other. There is nothing worse than getting to a marriage with unrealistic or wrong expectations. Remember people will lie to get hold of you if they think that's what it will take. Honesty these days is very short.

    More importantly never cross the boundaries of the deen in an effort to get to know the person. A marriage that begins with barakah lasts longer. And there can be no barakah if you have committed a sin on the way to marriage.
    :) inshaAllah

    may Allah swt grant you a wife who will be the coolness of your eyes always ameen

    be cold and logical - v much the truth
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

    Comment


    • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

      There is too much materialism, and in some cases the Mahr that is asked for is insane. I am looking for someone that is not obsessed with status and money, nowadays its getting harder and harder. Both Brothers and Sisters these days are obsessed with that nonsense. "Financial Security" does not have the same meaning it used to..

      Another problem nowadays is that everyone has been infested with movie romantics and want to find Mr./Mrs. Perfect. The Young people today have too much expectations for husband/wife and life in general that they will never be satisfied. "Good enough" is a rare expression these days. They rather chant "More! More!".

      If only they had the same hunger to be proper Muslims and attend Masjid!

      Comment


      • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

        Well,as I was going to move out of my home ,I decided about different payments,Billings etc so I came to conclusion approx 2000$

        But when I'm getting married I'm going very little in materialism bcs I believe it's sincerity,honesty, kindness, & honouring each other ALONGWITH basics Sunnah in Aqeedah&manhaj I.e dawah&Jihad .&same goals of akhirah to be in JAnnah ,InshaALLAH

        People can survive with little too if they have good environment&a loyal spouse .

        May ALLAH Ta'ala bless me with the person I been seeing in my dreams,Aameen

        Comment


        • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

          Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
          You can get fulfilling "good" careers/jobs without a degree, however, we should not forget that for lots and lots of posts the requirement for the candidate is that he/she has a degree preferably in a specific subject or something equivalent.
          If it means you have to get a dirty Riba loan, your better off without the degree,

          :jkk:
          http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

          "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

          Comment


          • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

            Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
            Nice post ,but you are putting emphasis on knowing the person for a long time...how long do you roughly need to know a potential for marriage
            As long as it takes. Time wasters and playas seldom stay long enough. That leaves serious potential people and as they say you can never hide your personality all the time. Eventually the flaws will show up

            That is better than marrying someone quickly and finding out that he is a loser with issues. The loser can walk away. But for the girl who is now a divorcee or worse with children, it will be devastating

            Comment


            • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

              Originally posted by Daddel90 View Post
              There is too much materialism, and in some cases the Mahr that is asked for is insane. I am looking for someone that is not obsessed with status and money, nowadays its getting harder and harder. Both Brothers and Sisters these days are obsessed with that nonsense. "Financial Security" does not have the same meaning it used to..

              Another problem nowadays is that everyone has been infested with movie romantics and want to find Mr./Mrs. Perfect. The Young people today have too much expectations for husband/wife and life in general that they will never be satisfied. "Good enough" is a rare expression these days. They rather chant "More! More!".

              If only they had the same hunger to be proper Muslims and attend Masjid!
              Mahr is the right of a woman. Yes some woman ask a lot but in the end, there is a reason why even Umar ra could not impose limits on it.

              Financial security is quite important to any woman. One of the ways a woman checks your financial stability is through mahr. If you can't afford a decent mahr then your financial stability comes into light. And no woman wants to worry whether the man she is about to marry can afford to look after her

              Comment


              • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
                As long as it takes. Time wasters and playas seldom stay long enough. That leaves serious potential people and as they say you can never hide your personality all the time. Eventually the flaws will show up

                That is better than marrying someone quickly and finding out that he is a loser with issues. The loser can walk away. But for the girl who is now a divorcee or worse with children, it will be devastating
                That's not very feasible though is it. You can have potentials "getting to know each other" whatever that means...putting aside how that will actually happen in a halal way over say several months and then he/she finds out that the other is not good enough. Imagine it takes on average 6 months to find this out. Those potentials have wasted 6 months!!! multiple that by say a handful of potentials and you end up wasting years.

                To me it just sounds like dating.

                Comment


                • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                  Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                  That's not very feasible though is it. You can have potentials "getting to know each other" whatever that means...putting aside how that will actually happen in a halal way over say several months and then he/she finds out that the other is not good enough. Imagine it takes on average 6 months to find this out. Those potentials have wasted 6 months!!! multiple that by say a handful of potentials and you end up wasting years.

                  To me it just sounds like dating.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                    To truly know someone you have to get very close to them and I can't see how potentials can do that in a halal way.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                      Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                      To truly know someone you have to get very close to them and I can't see how potentials can do that in a halal way.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                        How?
                        ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                        "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                        :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                        Comment


                        • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                          Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                          How?
                          https://www.16personalities.com/

                          Comment


                          • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                            Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                            You need to stop telling porkies,

                            Marriage doesn't cause problems, it is a solution,

                            What causes problems is marrying the wrong person, marrying immoral people etc
                            Well if you took it "easy' and took your time, you will increase your chance of not marrying the wrong person and not marrying immoral people because older people tend to have learned their lesson in life and become moral and make less mistakes vs. younger people. Marriage is not SOLUTION to any problems, it is the beginning of new chapter in life.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                              Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

                              I took the test it says I'm MEDIATOR (INFP-T) lololz
                              How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me :crying2:

                              Comment


                              • Re: Why do you delay marriage ppl...

                                Originally posted by myeverything View Post
                                I took the test it says I'm MEDIATOR (INFP-T) lololz
                                It's what I would have said you were too...what you say @RaNdOm?

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X