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Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

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  • #46
    Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    So wait...these guys send their mothers and aunts etc to talk to the father of the girl? lol that's shameless, what kind of foolishness is that :rotfl:
    I've never come across that before, in my culture usually the man sends his father and uncles first, the women have little to do with the process

    Ikr. If they asked their mother to talk to the mother of the girl, that would make more sense, but the father? that's just so odd.

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    • #47
      Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

      Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
      I think someone who is capable of speaking to the wali of a sister directly says a lot about the man.
      Some men hide and avoid talking or facing the wali, it's cowardly. It's a bit sissy.
      But I wonder how many men actually speak to them it seems rare.


      You have to work with what you have out there.

      A wali is the guardian of the woman concerned. Mainly the father but if she has no have father it's either her brother, uncle, or next to kin. If she has no blood relatives she can get an imam of a mosque to act as her wali.
      I travelled hundreds of miles to meet the wali of my fiancé. He was with his brother as well. I went alone as well. Normally in my culture people send their fathers and uncles to meet the wali first. But I don't have a father and my mother sure ain't meeting anyone lol this early.

      The bride's family were shocked and dare I say impressed when they found that I went all alone myself to their own town to meet them. I found out about the impressed bit from the bride's family who spoke to relatives of my mother who in turn told me lol. They thought I would have atleast come with someone. Nope

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      • #48
        Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

        hmm... so you impress the father better if you contact yourself, rather then having someone older male from your family to initiate first contact?

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        • #49
          Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

          Its usually done father to father. You been on the cough mixture again Yasin?
          Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

          None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

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          • #50
            Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

            Originally posted by Eorlingas View Post
            Its usually done father to father. You been on the cough mixture again Yasin?
            Cowardly
            ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
            "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
            :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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            • #51
              Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

              Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
              Cowardly
              Lol..I forgot to mention after the moonlight serenading under the balcony
              Spears shall be shaken! Shields shall be splintered! a sword day..a red day..ere the sun rises! Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride to ruin, and the world’s ending!

              None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

              Comment


              • #52
                Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

                Originally posted by Eorlingas View Post
                Lol..I forgot to mention after the moonlight serenading under the balcony
                -_- filthy
                ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                Comment


                • #53
                  Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

                  Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
                  I travelled hundreds of miles to meet the wali of my fiancé. He was with his brother as well. I went alone as well. Normally in my culture people send their fathers and uncles to meet the wali first. But I don't have a father and my mother sure ain't meeting anyone lol this early.

                  The bride's family were shocked and dare I say impressed when they found that I went all alone myself to their own town to meet them. I found out about the impressed bit from the bride's family who spoke to relatives of my mother who in turn told me lol. They thought I would have atleast come with someone. Nope

                  In my culture it's a mix and it all depends on the family.

                  The norm is the fathers of both parties communicate with each other or male members of the family talk to each other first and decide to meet, but this woman/women in the middle is really annoying me. Unfortunately, I seem to be getting them quite often.
                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                  • #54
                    Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

                    Originally posted by Eorlingas View Post
                    Its usually done father to father. You been on the cough mixture again Yasin?
                    I don't get it so you'll have to tell me
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

                      Originally posted by HelloEverybody View Post
                      hmm... so you impress the father better if you contact yourself, rather then having someone older male from your family to initiate first contact?
                      No

                      keep it man to man

                      if there are no men in the family, you should just talk to the wali
                      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                        No

                        keep it man to man

                        if there are no men in the family, you should just talk to the wali
                        hmm... understood.

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                        • #57
                          Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

                          Originally posted by HelloEverybody View Post
                          hmm... understood.
                          make sure you make eye contact with the wali

                          I hate wusses, may Allah save us all from marrying wusses and bless us with goodness in life-ameen

                          if I can tell a potential mil to take her nikaab off why the heck can't you make eye contact with my dad?

                          sheesh.

                          anyway, keep it cool. keep it real, don't try to be hamlet, just be you and it's okay to be nervous

                          make sure you take ambala misthi. don't go empty handed like mr stingy patel
                          Last edited by Ya'sin; 03-03-17, 10:41 PM.
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Re: Why don't men like talking to the father of the bride? or the wali himself?

                            It could be a culture thing or maybe they aren't serious about the whole thing .. u know dem playas

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