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If a potential tells you that....

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  • #16
    Re: If a potential tells you that....

    :salams

    What culture is that?

    In desi culture sometimes someone can't get married if their older sibling isn't married yet.

    I remember when brothers getting rejected because of this.

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    • #17
      Re: If a potential tells you that....

      never heard of this in a culture but maybe he means that he just doesn't want to marry so soon after his brother because he wants to have his own limelight and probably not be accused of rushing into marriage out of jealousy after his bro married

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      • #18
        Re: If a potential tells you that....

        Originally posted by [email protected] View Post
        maybe he means that he just doesn't want to marry so soon after his brother because he wants to have his own limelight and probably not be accused of rushing into marriage out of jealousy after his bro married
        I thought "maybe it's because if his brother just got married it means that financially it would be hard for him and his family to support a new wedding soon".

        maybe :wacko:

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        • #19
          Re: If a potential tells you that....

          If it was a few weeks ir even a month a two, that would've been understandable but a year?

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          • #20
            Re: If a potential tells you that....

            Sounds legit. NO, 3 months is ok tho

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            • #21
              Re: If a potential tells you that....

              Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
              If a potential tells you that you should wait a year before marriage/nikkah/engagement/whatever formality that means marriage, because his brother just got married and in his culture it's considered odd if two brothers get married in the same period.... is it normal?

              I am :scratch:
              Its stupidity . Marriage should be done as earliest as possible.

              We are supposed to follow prophet , not culture.

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              • #22
                Re: If a potential tells you that....

                Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
                If a potential tells you that you should wait a year before marriage/nikkah/engagement/whatever formality that means marriage, because his brother just got married and in his culture it's considered odd if two brothers get married in the same period.... is it normal?

                I am :scratch:
                Bit odd, the custom is odd enough but the fact he'd actually follow it shows he puts that before islamic norms and should start your wali asking extra questions relating to culture and how seriously he and his family takes it.
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                • #23
                  Re: If a potential tells you that....

                  In parts of Qawqaz, if someone significant dies in the family, there are no marriages for 1 year after that, as its a mourning period and no celebrations should happen...

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                  • #24
                    Re: If a potential tells you that....

                    Originally posted by Gingerbeardman View Post
                    Bit odd, the custom is odd enough but the fact he'd actually follow it shows he puts that before islamic norms and should start your wali asking extra questions relating to culture and how seriously he and his family takes it.
                    Thank you Gingerbeardman for your advice! Unfortunately, my father has some health problems and he can't always be good enough to manage also these situations (like the search of a partner for me)... it depends on the periods. So I am doing my search and research alone. I know it's wrong. I usually go straight to the point and I don't waste time. I have my list of questions and requirements. I know what I am looking for. And when I think a potential might be good for me, I ask him to come to meet me and my family. I know it's not perfectly the islamic way but my circumstances are different as well.

                    I am really interested in this guy but when I heard of that "custom", I lost trust. Probably he is just a time waster and that one is just an excuse. I don't know. He said that for him it's not important but for his family is, so he wants to respect that. But a year is a long time and I don't want to wait that long.... I think I won't go far with him...

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                    • #25
                      Re: If a potential tells you that....

                      Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
                      I thought "maybe it's because if his brother just got married it means that financially it would be hard for him and his family to support a new wedding soon".

                      maybe :wacko:
                      oh yeah or maybe that

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