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A good wife or enabling bad behavior

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  • Re: A good wife or enabling bad behavior

    WHY, I understand why, but why does most advise end with "talk". We are desi, we don't talk. That is not how we roll. LOL

    I have had "talk". I know he does not intent on spending rest of his life in the same house, hence I am not making big deal of this situation. But temporary needs to have deadline. I have asked "how long" & he never had timeline. I don't think he has clear cut reason or timeline. I don't blame him completely because I don't have clear cut timeline on how long I can handle this set up either .

    I know some of the reasons/timeline in his mind but I don't think they are realistic. I think its time for me to start the push with a deadline of next Ramadan.

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    • Re: A good wife or enabling bad behavior

      Originally posted by Kya View Post
      WHY, understand why, but why does most advise end with "talk". We are desi, we don't talk. That is not how we roll. LOL

      I have had "talk". I know he does not intent on spending rest of his life in the same house, hence I am not making big deal of this situation. But temporary needs to have deadline. I have asked "how long" & he never had timeline. I don't think he has clear cut reason or timeline. I don't blame him completely because I don't have clear cut timeline on how long I can handle this set up either .

      I know some of the reasons/timeline in his mind but I don't think they are realistic. I think its time for me to start the push with a deadline of next Ramadan.
      Well there's the problem then lol.

      Oh well, looks like you're just gonna have to get more situated in your sister in laws home then.

      Best of luck

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      • Re: A good wife or enabling bad behavior

        Move back into your own familys home, right now as you say he has no reason to get up and be a man because you're still with him despite his flaws.

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        • Re: A good wife or enabling bad behavior

          Originally posted by Kya View Post
          WHY, I understand why, but why does most advise end with "talk". We are desi, we don't talk. That is not how we roll. LOL

          I have had "talk". I know he does not intent on spending rest of his life in the same house, hence I am not making big deal of this situation. But temporary needs to have deadline. I have asked "how long" & he never had timeline. I don't think he has clear cut reason or timeline. I don't blame him completely because I don't have clear cut timeline on how long I can handle this set up either .

          I know some of the reasons/timeline in his mind but I don't think they are realistic. I think its time for me to start the push with a deadline of next Ramadan.
          Well, you can tell him "A goal is a dream with a deadline"? Why next Ramadan, try earlier than that?

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          • Re: A good wife or enabling bad behavior

            Originally posted by Jade Vine View Post
            Well, you can tell him "A goal is a dream with a deadline"? Why next Ramadan, try earlier than that?
            Since we are not planning on renting, finding a house worth the price takes time. Most people on average spent 3-6 months finding the right home plus the home buying season is over so inventory will be low until next spring. I would like to be out before Ramadan but I am building in some cushion space so he can work out details. I know there are lots of things he wanted to achieve for his family before moving out that he won't be. He needs to figure out alternative way to give back, some of these goals he should have worked on a decade ago & others are just not realistic. I hate being negative & obstacle to his plans but some one has to give him different POV to think about..

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