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What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

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  • What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

    Aside from deen-related questions.

  • #2
    Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

    Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
    Aside from deen-related questions.
    -Future ambitions and objectives
    -Raising up children
    -Living plans (e.g. with parents or seperate house)
    -Interests and hobbies
    -Past experiences that changed his life/taught him important lessons
    -Expectations of marriage
    -Problem/scenario+Solution

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

      AsSalaamu Alaikum.

      Aside from deen, it is important to guage an understanding of their morals/ attitudes/ maturity.

      It may be that you have to lead on the question e.g. It is my ambition to want to do a lot of charity work like volunteering. Have you done anything similair/ want to do anything like that? If so, what would that be? (cos anyone can say yeah, just to impress you ask for an example).

      Also maybe think of 2 things/ hobbies (aside from deen) which are a part of you and ask for his opinions on those things.

      Key point is to gain an idea of what their approach to things are and look to see whether they hesitate while thinking of a scripted reply.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

        :jkk: akhis for your input.

        How important is it to know about hobbies/interest?

        How to ask tactfully about financial stability and standard of living?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

          Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
          :jkk: akhis for your input.

          How to ask tactfully about financial stability and standard of living?
          You can ask what he does for a living? Whether or not he will be able to provider for his wife and kids? Also, whether he is looking to invest in a home in the future or rent an apartment?
          Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

          "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
          - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

            Bismillah,

            -which kind of accommodation, any plans for hijra,
            -which kind of living standards, does he expect his wife to work (if, so, run as fast you can)
            -does he want big or small family
            -exercise
            -what he does his spare time and money
            -what was last book he read
            -what is his ideal way to spend his time

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

              Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
              :jkk: akhis for your input.

              How important is it to know about hobbies/interest?

              How to ask tactfully about financial stability and standard of living?
              Just ask him directly :)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

                First ask About his job how much he makes. Then what he studied. Go from there

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

                  Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
                  :jkk: akhis for your input.

                  How important is it to know about hobbies/interest?

                  How to ask tactfully about financial stability and standard of living?
                  There is no tactful way with men. Sister like the other brother said ask directly. Read body language when he answers.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

                    salaams to all

                    -do u smoke/drink-obviously, if he drinks then hes OUT!
                    -do u take drugs/have u been taking- if yes then he should be OUT!
                    - are most of your friends muslims or non muslims
                    -if theyre muslims are they all practicing muslims or msulim by name ony
                    -do u go out with friends & how often
                    - how late do u stay out and where do u go/what do u do
                    -do u earn enough to maintain a wife at a comfortable level(close to what she has now, im assuming)
                    -do u expect me to live with your parents/family or not
                    -do u have any kids from any previous marriages/relationships
                    --do u have a criminal record and if yes then when & what for
                    - do u spend lots of time on the internet or play video games
                    - are u temperamental, going off into tantrums over petty issues
                    - do u want children & how many would u like to have if u had a choice in the matter( its in Allah ta'alas hands)

                    the above are some of the things that i believe are important to ask a prospective husband apart from deeni questions.
                    when it comes to deeni questions, allow me to suggest these:

                    -how many salaahs do u pray in the musjid with jamaah on a daily basis
                    -do u always keep a real beard-fist length (he should have one-no designer stubble)
                    -do u always keep your garments above your ankles
                    -do u recite a portion of the Quraan daily
                    -do u keep all your fasts in Ramadaan
                    -have u been for Hajj/Umrah if not, do u have any plans for that
                    -do u keep your gaze lowered or do u freely look at ghair mahram women

                    apart from these questions, PLEASE do your homework
                    ask the womenfolk of his family & ppl from his community/circle of friends about him.

                    if they are muslims, remind them that its NOT Gheebah to speak the truth/reveal his faults/bad habits/qualities when it comes to nikah/marriage

                    in fact, its an obligation upon them to speak the truth.



                    and Allah ta'ala knows best
                    jazakallah
                    Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
                    very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

                      Originally posted by msmoorad View Post
                      salaams to all

                      -do u smoke/drink-obviously, if he drinks then hes OUT!
                      -do u take drugs/have u been taking- if yes then he should be OUT!
                      - are most of your friends muslims or non muslims
                      -if theyre muslims are they all practicing muslims or msulim by name ony
                      -do u go out with friends & how often
                      - how late do u stay out and where do u go/what do u do
                      -do u earn enough to maintain a wife at a comfortable level(close to what she has now, im assuming)
                      -do u expect me to live with your parents/family or not
                      -do u have any kids from any previous marriages/relationships
                      --do u have a criminal record and if yes then when & what for
                      - do u spend lots of time on the internet or play video games
                      - are u temperamental, going off into tantrums over petty issues
                      - do u want children & how many would u like to have if u had a choice in the matter( its in Allah ta'alas hands)

                      the above are some of the things that i believe are important to ask a prospective husband apart from deeni questions.
                      when it comes to deeni questions, allow me to suggest these:

                      -how many salaahs do u pray in the musjid with jamaah on a daily basis
                      -do u always keep a real beard-fist length (he should have one-no designer stubble)
                      -do u always keep your garments above your ankles
                      -do u recite a portion of the Quraan daily
                      -do u keep all your fasts in Ramadaan
                      -have u been for Hajj/Umrah if not, do u have any plans for that
                      -do u keep your gaze lowered or do u freely look at ghair mahram women

                      apart from these questions, PLEASE do your homework
                      ask the womenfolk of his family & ppl from his community/circle of friends about him.

                      if they are muslims, remind them that its NOT Gheebah to speak the truth/reveal his faults/bad habits/qualities when it comes to nikah/marriage

                      in fact, its an obligation upon them to speak the truth.



                      and Allah ta'ala knows best
                      jazakallah
                      The "do you" parts should be more open ended tho. They almost sound like a police interrogation.. But other than that, they're good and direct. Jzk.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

                        Bismillah,
                        One most important question is, have you read fiqh of marriage.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

                          Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
                          Aside from deen-related questions.
                          No need to ask any thing else apart from that really. Just get married and see how it goes.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

                            I think importance is relative to everyone.

                            As for me, one of the major steps I hope to make is to move to my home country I was born in. I cannot marry someone who is not on board with this.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: What are the important questions to ask a suitor?

                              Originally posted by msmoorad View Post
                              salaams to all

                              -do u smoke/drink-obviously, if he drinks then hes OUT!
                              -do u take drugs/have u been taking- if yes then he should be OUT!
                              - are most of your friends muslims or non muslims
                              -if theyre muslims are they all practicing muslims or msulim by name ony
                              -do u go out with friends & how often
                              - how late do u stay out and where do u go/what do u do
                              -do u earn enough to maintain a wife at a comfortable level(close to what she has now, im assuming)
                              -do u expect me to live with your parents/family or not
                              -do u have any kids from any previous marriages/relationships
                              --do u have a criminal record and if yes then when & what for
                              - do u spend lots of time on the internet or play video games
                              - are u temperamental, going off into tantrums over petty issues
                              - do u want children & how many would u like to have if u had a choice in the matter( its in Allah ta'alas hands)

                              the above are some of the things that i believe are important to ask a prospective husband apart from deeni questions.
                              when it comes to deeni questions, allow me to suggest these:

                              -how many salaahs do u pray in the musjid with jamaah on a daily basis
                              -do u always keep a real beard-fist length (he should have one-no designer stubble)
                              -do u always keep your garments above your ankles
                              -do u recite a portion of the Quraan daily
                              -do u keep all your fasts in Ramadaan
                              -have u been for Hajj/Umrah if not, do u have any plans for that
                              -do u keep your gaze lowered or do u freely look at ghair mahram women

                              apart from these questions, PLEASE do your homework
                              ask the womenfolk of his family & ppl from his community/circle of friends about him.

                              if they are muslims, remind them that its NOT Gheebah to speak the truth/reveal his faults/bad habits/qualities when it comes to nikah/marriage

                              in fact, its an obligation upon them to speak the truth.



                              and Allah ta'ala knows best
                              jazakallah
                              The bold once are irrelevant my brother. Besides when a girls family or herself ask all these questions, should the suitors who went out of his own way to get an appointment with them be doing most of the questions. And control the conversation to his liking. It shows strength.

                              Comment

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