Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Were you the same before and after marriage?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Were you the same before and after marriage?

    :salams

    Did you change or were you the same?

    Someone once said to me try your hardest to become the best person you can be to your family cos how you are in family is how you will be with your next family.

    It always stuck in me cos there was a time I used to play any sadness or heartache off and say but yeh it won't be like this with my husband :inlove:

    But now I'm thinking - u will always feel the same

    But I dno - that's why I need you married peeps advice

    All my married friends are like you have one set of problems when you're single, when you get married it's just a new set of problems but that feeling of not enough is still there

    I think I was stupid and used to see marriage as an end goal and after that it would auto be 2 ppl caring for each other that would make it all ok but now I think that's wrong...
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

  • #2
    Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

    Walaikum assalam

    Depends what kind of life partner you get. It all comes down to understanding each other. Marriage is just another gamble.
    الصلوۃ والسلام علیک یا سیدی یارسول اللہ

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

      Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
      :salams

      Did you change or were you the same?

      Someone once said to me try your hardest to become the best person you can be to your family cos how you are in family is how you will be with your next family.

      It always stuck in me cos there was a time I used to play any sadness or heartache off and say but yeh it won't be like this with my husband :inlove:

      But now I'm thinking - u will always feel the same

      But I dno - that's why I need you married peeps advice

      All my married friends are like you have one set of problems when you're single, when you get married it's just a new set of problems but that feeling of not enough is still there

      I think I was stupid and used to see marriage as an end goal and after that it would auto be 2 ppl caring for each other that would make it all ok but now I think that's wrong...
      :wswrwb:

      How do you manage to keep thinking so many wrong things, sister?


      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

        I'm not married, but I guess you'll still be u unless u suddenly change behaviour/personality

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

          Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
          :salams

          Did you change or were you the same?

          Someone once said to me try your hardest to become the best person you can be to your family cos how you are in family is how you will be with your next family.

          It always stuck in me cos there was a time I used to play any sadness or heartache off and say but yeh it won't be like this with my husband :inlove:

          But now I'm thinking - u will always feel the same

          But I dno - that's why I need you married peeps advice

          All my married friends are like you have one set of problems when you're single, when you get married it's just a new set of problems but that feeling of not enough is still there

          I think I was stupid and used to see marriage as an end goal and after that it would auto be 2 ppl caring for each other that would make it all ok but now I think that's wrong...

          The arguments you would have with your parents will be like those with your husband. The fights with your siblings will be like those with your children. There really is no escape from such hardships, life is a test. I don't blame you for thinking this, in fact, the large majority of girls think like this. In reality, married life is not a fairytale. I can't speak from experience but from observation.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

            Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
            :salams

            Did you change or were you the same?

            Someone once said to me try your hardest to become the best person you can be to your family cos how you are in family is how you will be with your next family.

            It always stuck in me cos there was a time I used to play any sadness or heartache off and say but yeh it won't be like this with my husband :inlove:

            But now I'm thinking - u will always feel the same

            But I dno - that's why I need you married peeps advice

            All my married friends are like you have one set of problems when you're single, when you get married it's just a new set of problems but that feeling of not enough is still there

            I think I was stupid and used to see marriage as an end goal and after that it would auto be 2 ppl caring for each other that would make it all ok but now I think that's wrong...
            Marriage isn't a fairytale. It comes with its own set of challenges. I'm not married but you don't have to be to know this. Just look at the married folks around you. They hace challenges they are facing which only married people face.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

              Good question. Can you truly be yourself after marriage? Or do you always have to be what your spouse expect you to be?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

                Yes.
                You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                  :salams

                  Did you change or were you the same?

                  Someone once said to me try your hardest to become the best person you can be to your family cos how you are in family is how you will be with your next family.

                  It always stuck in me cos there was a time I used to play any sadness or heartache off and say but yeh it won't be like this with my husband :inlove:

                  But now I'm thinking - u will always feel the same

                  But I dno - that's why I need you married peeps advice

                  All my married friends are like you have one set of problems when you're single, when you get married it's just a new set of problems but that feeling of not enough is still there

                  I think I was stupid and used to see marriage as an end goal and after that it would auto be 2 ppl caring for each other that would make it all ok but now I think that's wrong...
                  :wswrwb:

                  i am sorry for my previous post on this thread if it offended you.

                  Answer to this question is 'yes' i am the same after marriage. Spouses don't change their nature after marriage, in my opinion no one can change one's nature ever.

                  But spouses bring some changes in themselves and in eacother like their habits, likings or dislikings etc. i can't generalize it for all but can give you examples from my own life.

                  i didn't love to eat Bhindi (ladyfinger) before marriage but she likes to eat them. So, i started eating them with her, after sometime taste developed. She also tried different recipes and now she makes it perfectly the way i love to eat.

                  i hardly ever walked to enjoy before marriage but when i came to know that she likes to walk in moonlight along with me, i started doing it with her.

                  i was short-tempered before marriage, but now i have better control over my anger and she has helped me alot in doing so.

                  These are only few examples which can be counted as the changes after marriage but if you see overall then our personalities remained same... we do respect and care for our parents, our siblings the same way we used to do before marriage. In the very beginning of our marriage we both agreed on this concept "new relations are made to make old relations stronger and not to make them weaker."

                  i am still sorry if my answer is not helpful to what you were asking for.

                  i am sorry to myself too because i didn't share my personal info on public forum before...


                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

                    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                    :salams

                    Did you change or were you the same?

                    Someone once said to me try your hardest to become the best person you can be to your family cos how you are in family is how you will be with your next family.

                    It always stuck in me cos there was a time I used to play any sadness or heartache off and say but yeh it won't be like this with my husband :inlove:

                    But now I'm thinking - u will always feel the same

                    But I dno - that's why I need you married peeps advice

                    All my married friends are like you have one set of problems when you're single, when you get married it's just a new set of problems but that feeling of not enough is still there

                    I think I was stupid and used to see marriage as an end goal and after that it would auto be 2 ppl caring for each other that would make it all ok but now I think that's wrong...
                    The line in bold really spoke to me so I drew up a graph of my feelings:Click image for larger version

Name:	Thoughts.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	144.7 KB
ID:	10764289
                    And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
                    http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

                      i have changed drastically, however my humour is still childish

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
                        Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                        :salams

                        Did you change or were you the same?

                        Someone once said to me try your hardest to become the best person you can be to your family cos how you are in family is how you will be with your next family.

                        It always stuck in me cos there was a time I used to play any sadness or heartache off and say but yeh it won't be like this with my husband :inlove:

                        But now I'm thinking - u will always feel the same

                        But I dno - that's why I need you married peeps advice

                        All my married friends are like you have one set of problems when you're single, when you get married it's just a new set of problems but that feeling of not enough is still there

                        I think I was stupid and used to see marriage as an end goal and after that it would auto be 2 ppl caring for each other that would make it all ok but now I think that's wrong...
                        The line in bold really spoke to me so I drew up a graph of my feelings:Click image for larger version

Name:	Thoughts.jpg
Views:	1
Size:	144.7 KB
ID:	10764289
                        That is deep.
                        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

                          Originally posted by Khalid b. Walid View Post
                          Marriage isn't a fairytale. It comes with its own set of challenges. I'm not married but you don't have to be to know this. Just look at the married folks around you. They hace challenges they are facing which only married people face.
                          Yeh I can't think of anyone that is happy apart from one cpuple

                          cos I think a lot of people entered marriage focusing on each other and getting love of each other but when 2 humans are like that it's like a magnet with north and north coming together together together and then when u get too close it's just one big explosion to push u apart cos u realise they're nothing

                          but if both enter marriage knowing that neither of them will make each other 'content' or 'happy' and knowing all goodness and contentment of the heart lies with Allah swt then the energies are focused in the right direction. Pleasing Him will mean your spouse is auto pleased. As long as u keep your love for Him above all else.

                          Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
                          Good question. Can you truly be yourself after marriage? Or do you always have to be what your spouse expect you to be?
                          I could not ever be anything other than myself cos I would just die

                          Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                          Yes.
                          You got married?
                          Originally posted by Theistic View Post
                          :wswrwb:

                          i am sorry for my previous post on this thread if it offended you.

                          Answer to this question is 'yes' i am the same after marriage. Spouses don't change their nature after marriage, in my opinion no one can change one's nature ever.

                          But spouses bring some changes in themselves and in eacother like their habits, likings or dislikings etc. i can't generalize it for all but can give you examples from my own life.

                          i didn't love to eat Bhindi (ladyfinger) before marriage but she likes to eat them. So, i started eating them with her, after sometime taste developed. She also tried different recipes and now she makes it perfectly the way i love to eat.

                          i hardly ever walked to enjoy before marriage but when i came to know that she likes to walk in moonlight along with me, i started doing it with her.

                          i was short-tempered before marriage, but now i have better control over my anger and she has helped me alot in doing so.

                          These are only few examples which can be counted as the changes after marriage but if you see overall then our personalities remained same... we do respect and care for our parents, our siblings the same way we used to do before marriage. In the very beginning of our marriage we both agreed on this concept "new relations are made to make old relations stronger and not to make them weaker."

                          i am still sorry if my answer is not helpful to what you were asking for.

                          i am sorry to myself too because i didn't share my personal info on public forum before...
                          Hmm interesting and nah I wasn't offended lol :jkk:

                          I was just wondering ....

                          Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
                          The line in bold really spoke to me so I drew up a graph of my feelings:[ATTACH=CONFIG]85792[/ATTACH]
                          Lolll I remba exam days. Those were the days my husb was gonna save me and I'd write in my little lame husband diary the most loll :vomit:
                          ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                          "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                          :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

                            Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                            Yes.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Were you the same before and after marriage?

                              Only one way to find out...
                              Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                              "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                              - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X