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  • m7md
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by bismillaah View Post
    Today, I found out something which made me so distressed that I dissociated.

    Now I have a decision to make, out of 2 options. It would be 1 option, but I suffer from a lot of self doubt, and my 'mistakes' are not always mistakes.

    option 1: marry a single brother, whose never been married, has no expectations, and this marriage is his first experience. Deen he's on the same level as you, you are not afraid.

    option 2: marry a married brother, who is married +/- kids, has expectations due to being married and has experienced it. Deen he is on a very high level, which u may see as positive or negative.

    Im so stressed out, I feel like a zombie. I have only ever dissociated 2 times in my life, one after an interview and one earlier this year when I started a new life.
    Just choose the one whose closer to u in living style and culture , it will be alot better in long term.

    i dont see people here at the same level of understanding as urs, best person to consult and that must be consulted is ur wali.
    Last edited by m7md; 15-10-16, 02:53 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Is dissociating running away from home so that u dont remember where u been and what you did?

    I thought you were married? Why have you been curving this question from me trice already,makes me believe ur just a troll

    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by bismillaah View Post
    that's it I'm never posting on ummah again
    :up:

    Leave a comment:


  • bismillaah
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
    Do you look like a pirate?

    I'm just trying to find out what you are referring to when you say a blinder? She said she was married and it looks like she was lying, is this the blinder you are referring too?
    that's it I'm never posting on ummah again

    Leave a comment:


  • myeverything
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by ZeeshanParvez View Post
    My wife was all for it. Then after marrying me she says no. I can't share you...
    you should be happy for that you know :)

    Leave a comment:


  • Manager
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
    You're brave for putting yourself out there....pray istikhara and then go with the option you want to.....I would go for 1....less baggage and it's fun that you are both new to marriage......so it'll be a new experience for both of you......whereas the other guy is already married so he has been through it all........not as exciting......imo......
    ^ This

    Leave a comment:


  • ms.muslimah
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by Bismil View Post
    Same level of deen is not good enough ?
    No I said it is good enough.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bismil
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by ms.muslimah View Post
    It's a true comment, how could people use it according to their needs?

    I think it's usually better to marry a single person, but I don't think single people should always get preference. If the married brother is better there's no reason for her to choose the single brother.

    But it sounds like the single brother is good enough. I would say she should choose him, but Allah knows best.
    Same level of deen is not good enough ?

    Leave a comment:


  • ZeeshanParvez
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    My wife was all for it. Then after marrying me she says no. I can't share you...

    Leave a comment:


  • ms.muslimah
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by Bismil View Post
    That is interesting comment you made , I have seen people here use this comment according to there needs .
    Nevertheless , his Deen is on the same level , what is wrong with that ? he can work on it. Its better to marry a single person. The other guy is already married.

    I am not against polygamy , but the single people should get preferance.
    It's a true comment, how could people use it according to their needs?

    I think it's usually better to marry a single person, but I don't think single people should always get preference. If the married brother is better there's no reason for her to choose the single brother.

    But it sounds like the single brother is good enough. I would say she should choose him, but Allah knows best.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bismil
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by ms.muslimah View Post
    For the first brother she said "Deen he's on the same level as you, you are not afraid."

    For the second brother she said "Deen he is on a very high level, which u may see as positive or negative."

    Allah knows best who is closer to Him, but we can only judge people by what we see.
    That is interesting comment you made , I have seen people here use this comment according to there needs .
    Nevertheless , his Deen is on the same level , what is wrong with that ? he can work on it. Its better to marry a single person. The other guy is already married.

    I am not against polygamy , but the single people should get preferance.

    Leave a comment:


  • ms.muslimah
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by Bismil View Post
    What is not as religious ?

    You never know who is more closer to Allah swt.
    For the first brother she said "Deen he's on the same level as you, you are not afraid."

    For the second brother she said "Deen he is on a very high level, which u may see as positive or negative."

    Allah knows best who is closer to Him, but we can only judge people by what we see.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bismil
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by ms.muslimah View Post
    Option 1.



    There's probably nothing wrong with him, but he's not as religious.
    What is not as religious ?

    You never know who is more closer to Allah swt.

    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Originally posted by shay5 View Post
    Are you my parrot?
    Do you look like a pirate?

    I'm just trying to find out what you are referring to when you say a blinder? She said she was married and it looks like she was lying, is this the blinder you are referring too?

    Leave a comment:


  • ms.muslimah
    replied
    Re: single or polygamy

    Option 1.

    Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
    What's wrong with option 1?
    There's probably nothing wrong with him, but he's not as religious.

    Leave a comment:

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