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Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

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  • Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

    How would you feel about your other half going on the internet to ask for advice regarding your relationship?

    Going to family, friends, or a trusted aalim doesn't apply here. This is specifically about asking random strangers and sharing personal/private details.

    Question is also to those in the process, or thinking about getting married in the near future. We get threads about 'potentials' being like 'this' or like 'that' and get asked for our opinion whether they should marry him or her. Would it affect your decision on the proposal if you found out that he or she consulted the internet beforehand?

    I would be extremely disappointed to say the least.

  • #2
    Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
    How would you feel about your other half going on the internet to ask for advice regarding your relationship?

    Going to family, friends, or a trusted aalim doesn't apply here. This is specifically about asking random strangers and sharing personal/private details.

    Question is also to those in the process, or thinking about getting married in the near future. We get threads about 'potentials' being like 'this' or like 'that' and get asked for our opinion whether they should marry him or her. Would it affect your decision on the proposal if you found out that he or she consulted the internet beforehand?

    I would be extremely disappointed to say the least.
    Isnt that what we do here??? Lol

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

      Originally posted by Ekoor View Post
      Isnt that what we do here??? Lol
      Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
      ...We get threads about 'potentials' being like 'this' or like 'that' and get asked for our opinion whether they should marry him or her...
      -_-

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

        yikes.. lols
        Indeed we belong to Allah,
        and indeed to Him we will return.


        Quran 2:156

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

          Would be a good opportunity to find out how good internet is in assessing a person based on one sided perspective.
          Winning an argument doesn't mean you're on truth, losing an argument doesn't mean you're on falsehood.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

            Two questions are being asked here...

            If it's a potential then I wouldn't mind that much.

            If it's my hypothetical spouse then disappointment would be an understatement.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

              If someone is seeking out the advice of others then it may mean you have made them uncomfortable to speak to.



              If I ever get married, that's one of the first things I want to discuss. If you have an issue,concern...etc, let's talk about it, don't be afraid to talk to me. If we have disagreements,let's handle it kindly and through conversation...no fights, no raised voices,no anger...etc.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

                as for potentials aspect, i'd think if a person REALLY likes someone and has a gut feeling about the person like this person is the one I want to marry asap. Out of respect for the person, I don't think they'd be sharing anything about this person or even the fact that they are seriously considering someone to the internet or any outsiders, it will just be kept with their close family members and maybe a trustworthy friend. Even for oneself, I think when you have something really good going for you, sometimes you want to keep it on the down-low just to not jeopardize anything.
                Indeed we belong to Allah,
                and indeed to Him we will return.


                Quran 2:156

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

                  Originally posted by Poster View Post
                  ...If it's a potential then I wouldn't mind that much...
                  It can only be a 'potential' in your case. -_-

                  Really though? Wouldn't it cause you to wonder about her approach to life?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

                    I wouldn't be too happy

                    The Prophet :saw:

                    Taught us to keep such things hidden like our sins and good deeds.

                    Relationships need to be open for the healing to begin.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

                      Originally posted by Tide2006 View Post
                      If someone is seeking out the advice of others then it may mean you have made them uncomfortable to speak to...
                      ...Going to family, friends, or a trusted aalim doesn't apply here. This is specifically about asking random strangers...
                      -_-

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

                        and if I was married, and he went on the internet to ask a bunch of strangers for advice on our marriage, not only would I be very upset that he didn't come talk to me but it's like wth, is this marriage a joke to you? so disrespectful, asking a bunch of strangers for advice. who are they and who am I???? lolss.
                        Indeed we belong to Allah,
                        and indeed to Him we will return.


                        Quran 2:156

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

                          Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
                          How would you feel about your other half going on the internet to ask for advice regarding your relationship?

                          Going to family, friends, or a trusted aalim doesn't apply here. This is specifically about asking random strangers and sharing personal/private details.

                          Question is also to those in the process, or thinking about getting married in the near future. We get threads about 'potentials' being like 'this' or like 'that' and get asked for our opinion whether they should marry him or her. Would it affect your decision on the proposal if you found out that he or she consulted the internet beforehand?

                          I would be extremely disappointed to say the least.
                          I don't see what the problem is. The internet is made of people, and you can learn a lot from people who have different opinion, background, life experience, etc. Also, they aren't biased when giving you advice, as opposed to someone who knows you personally, which can be a good thing.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

                            No.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Spouse Asking Internet for Advice

                              Originally posted by lonelyniqabi View Post
                              I don't see what the problem is. The internet is made of people, and you can learn a lot from people who have different opinion, background, life experience, etc. Also, they aren't biased when giving you advice, as opposed to someone who knows you personally, which can be a good thing.
                              That sounds alright if it was something general. Marriage is a very private, personal, and closed relationship to a large degree. For that, someone who knows you personally is better placed to offer advice.

                              Everyone is biased to a certain degree. Objectivity is almost always overstated.

                              Comment

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