Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

problems with men today

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Re: problems with men today

    Originally posted by ugabs View Post
    Some of the things she is saying actually makes sense if you think about it

    Not sure why everyone starts bashing someone if their opinions dont match with that person's
    Did I say he was right or wrong? I said it was a male user and I stand by that......I know things.....
    You think this lot would ever pick up on that? You give them too much credit...... [MENTION=30830]Pippin1376[/MENTION]
    Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
    Are you married?
    It is not female...
    “Whoever wants to purify his heart must prefer Allah over and above his own desires.” .

    Comment


      Re: problems with men today

      Originally posted by shay5 View Post
      It is not female...
      I'm not sure about this....


      Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
      Are you married?
      But I'm sure about this. He/she is definitely not married.

      Comment


        Re: problems with men today

        Originally posted by Ni'mah View Post
        :rotfl:
        Stop knocking my dream goal. I bought an apron and cooking book. I'm ready to cater to all his needs.

        Comment


          Re: problems with men today

          Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
          What is it to be the one in charge of your home and the one that has authority?

          men these days seem to complain too much. complaining about women, their wives, feminism, complaining about their wives/women complaining, how tired they are when they get home, how women 'nag' them as soon as they step in. All the time complaining!

          Why are you complaining, just deal with it. So what if your wife doesn't cook when you get home and she starts talking about other things you didn't want to hear. Why can't she do that? she's a woman. Why can't you handle it?

          Why do we always have to tell sisters be like this when a man is upset or be like that when he comes home, don't talk too much, make sure the food is done etc
          when we don't tell brothers the same thing about women, that she is doing things like this because there is an issue going on with her and you're supposed to find a way to deal with it. Not sulk, get angry, over emotional and complain. This is what women do.
          Being supportive is one of the best things a Muslim wife can do for her husband. We all know the famous story of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad :saw: after receiving revelation, he came straight home to his nurturing wife, Sayyidina Khadija :RAA: She wasn’t on the phone with her girlfriend nor was she too busy on the computer, she was ready to comfort and listen.
          Islam has made a good wife the best treasure a man can have in his life, after belief in Allah and following His commands. She is considered the key to happiness.
          According to the Hadith, the Prophet, blessings and peace be upon him, told `Umar, “shall I tell you the best a man can treasure? It is a good wife. If he looks at her, she gives him pleasure; if he orders her, she obeys; and if he is away from her, she remains faithful to him"

          By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.
          It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.” They said, “Why, O Messenger of Allah?” He said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).” It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allah?” He said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’” (Bukhari)
          “Mu'min” is more that just a title. It is to have Imaan established in the heart and testified to by the limbs.

          Comment


            Re: problems with men today

            We should be excited about marriage not think about these issues that will most probably not even exist.

            The excitement of marriage should make you selfless and empathatic, you are completing half your deen! Of course there's going to be some difficulty.

            I know there's going to be times when my wife may have those bad days and mood swings where it will seem like she's angry for no reason but I know it's natural and it's just that her body goes through changes. I embrace that and get ready for that because she's my spouse not some random stranger living with me. I'm not going to start complaining about that now, instead i need to understand her feelimg and be EMPATHETIC towards her.
            May Allah grant us good spouses.

            Comment


              Re: problems with men today

              Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
              We should be excited about marriage not think about these issues that will most probably not even exist.

              The excitement of marriage should make you selfless and empathatic, you are completing half your deen! Of course there's going to be some difficulty.

              I know there's going to be times when my wife may have those bad days and mood swings where it will seem like she's angry for no reason but I know it's natural and it's just that her body goes through changes. I embrace that and get ready for that because she's my spouse not some random stranger living with me. I'm not going to start complaining about that now, instead i need to understand her feelimg and be EMPATHETIC towards her.
              May Allah grant us good spouses.
              Alhamdulillah.
              When you are married, you stop being, I, me and myself. Marriage is team work, it is us, we and ourselves.
              You are together in it, you are team, not enemies
              .Your ultimate goal should be working towards Jannah.

              If person doesn't get that, then he/she is better fast/ lower the gaze.

              Comment


                Re: problems with men today

                Originally posted by ugabs View Post
                Some of the things she is saying actually makes sense if you think about it

                Not sure why everyone starts bashing someone if their opinions dont match with that person's
                Because some of the other things she's saying doesn't make sense at all....seems like the sister has resentment towards the womankind in general. Especially the western women who aren't in the middle of persecution.

                That perspective needs to change :)
                "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

                "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

                Comment


                  Re: problems with men today

                  Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                  We should be excited about marriage not think about these issues that will most probably not even exist.

                  The excitement of marriage should make you selfless and empathatic, you are completing half your deen! Of course there's going to be some difficulty.

                  I know there's going to be times when my wife may have those bad days and mood swings where it will seem like she's angry for no reason but I know it's natural and it's just that her body goes through changes. I embrace that and get ready for that because she's my spouse not some random stranger living with me. I'm not going to start complaining about that now, instead i need to understand her feelimg and be EMPATHETIC towards her.
                  May Allah grant us good spouses.
                  I see these issues everyday, that's why it is important. no one questions this stuff.
                  They are going to be married one day and sisters need men, not over emotional females in a male body who have no control.
                  We got men these days saying rubbish like "the woman is always right, always apologise even if you don't know what for"....what on earth is that! is that logical?
                  I heard one speaker saying when it comes to women we always say "we hear and obey"...then men want respect and to be obeyed?
                  It's not just the chores issue it's so many things. I think my view on this is being misunderstood a lot.

                  They are falling into extremes, either they are being abusive when dealing with their wives, or they are being tyrants, or they are just doormats.
                  How many times we hear men complaining about how she isn't cooking, cleaning, too much talking all the time, sleeping on the couch, feminism, there's something going wrong in these marriages and the issue is with the men. Who are they complaining to? Why are they not fixing the problem instead of complaining. Because they simply don't know how to.

                  The topic was never should women do this and that for their husbands, should they throw all their problems at him at the door, should they cook etc. It's about how men react when these things are done that may be inconvenient for him. Can he look at it from her perspective and see whether she has a point or not. can he let go and be forgiving of some things but know where to draw the line at other things.

                  It's the same way men are always complaining about polygamy and how sisters these days are this and that and they are not being accepting of it blah blah. Blaming the women for something that is completely natural for them.
                  Of course they are not going to be accepting of it what did you expect? why are you begging sisters to look at it in a positive light? Why should they? Men have to make them look at it in a positive light by showing good examples. Women have never liked polygamy in the past yet men just got on with their business.

                  And when it comes to leadership on a larger scale, we don't have it, we just don't. There's no good men in leadership in muslim countries or non muslim countries.
                  In non muslim countries we all know what's going on and what they've done to their women and in muslim countries we all see what's happening. No need to even explain.
                  Don't women then have the right to ask exactly where the men are today? especially the ones who have been the most let down and neglected from both sides muslim and kafir.
                  شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                  فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                  وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                  ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                  Comment


                    Re: problems with men today

                    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                    On the contrary I think [MENTION=138521]iguess[/MENTION] is hitting the nail on the head more often than the rest of the sisters put together. One remark is a little on the robust side but the rest seem to have ruffled a few delicate feathers.
                    Not really, she made the whole thing personal an about me when it has nothing to do with what I would do or not do in these situations.
                    All I saw was you, you, you and "good for you" somewhere in there.
                    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                    Comment


                      Re: problems with men today

                      Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                      I see these issues everyday, that's why it is important. no one questions this stuff.
                      They are going to be married one day and sisters need men, not over emotional females in a male body who have no control.
                      We got men these days saying rubbish like "the woman is always right, always apologise even if you don't know what for"....what on earth is that! is that logical?
                      I heard one speaker saying when it comes to women we always say "we hear and obey"...then men want respect and to be obeyed?
                      It's not just the chores issue it's so many things. I think my view on this is being misunderstood a lot.

                      They are falling into extremes, either they are being abusive when dealing with their wives, or they are being tyrants, or they are just doormats.
                      How many times we hear men complaining about how she isn't cooking, cleaning, too much talking all the time, sleeping on the couch, feminism, there's something going wrong in these marriages and the issue is with the men. Who are they complaining to? Why are they not fixing the problem instead of complaining. Because they simply don't know how to.

                      The topic was never should women do this and that for their husbands, should they throw all their problems at him at the door, should they cook etc. It's about how men react when these things are done that may be inconvenient for him. Can he look at it from her perspective and see whether she has a point or not. can he let go and be forgiving of some things but know where to draw the line at other things.

                      It's the same way men are always complaining about polygamy and how sisters these days are this and that and they are not being accepting of it blah blah. Blaming the women for something that is completely natural for them.
                      Of course they are not going to be accepting of it what did you expect? why are you begging sisters to look at it in a positive light? Why should they? Men have to make them look at it in a positive light by showing good examples. Women have never liked polygamy in the past yet men just got on with their business.

                      And when it comes to leadership on a larger scale, we don't have it, we just don't. There's no good men in leadership in muslim countries or non muslim countries.
                      In non muslim countries we all know what's going on and what they've done to their women and in muslim countries we all see what's happening. No need to even explain.
                      Don't women then have the right to ask exactly where the men are today? especially the ones who have been the most let down and neglected from both sides muslim and kafir.
                      Yes it's all men's fault. There are no good men today, and thus we have no leaders wether it's the community or on a governmental scale. Do you understand how you're just generalising sister? What about your father? Yes there are plenty of men who are leaders and balanced husbands but you won't hear their marriage stories, you only hear the bad stories and then base your perception on that.

                      I've seen tonnes of mother in laws who oppress their daughter in laws and so many I've lost count, should I now say there are no good mother in laws?

                      Although I'm not denying there are men out there who have issues in how they treat their wives but generalising it to all men is injustice. Have some husn adh dhann of your brothers.

                      Comment


                        Re: problems with men today

                        Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                        Yes it's all men's fault. There are no good men today, and thus we have no leaders wether it's the community or on a governmental scale. Do you understand how you're just generalising sister? What about your father? Yes there are plenty of men who are leaders and balanced husbands but you won't hear their marriage stories, you only hear the bad stories and then base your perception on that.

                        I've seen tonnes of mother in laws who oppress their daughter in laws and so many I've lost count, should I now say there are no good mother in laws?

                        Although I'm not denying there are men out there who have issues in how they treat their wives but generalising it to all men is injustice. Have some husn adh dhann of your brothers.
                        Brother I think I understand what she's saying. It's in the context of her everyday experience in her culture and I think the sisters just fed up of having to deal with it.
                        "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

                        "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

                        Comment


                          Re: problems with men today

                          Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                          Yes it's all men's fault. There are no good men today, and thus we have no leaders wether it's the community or on a governmental scale. Do you understand how you're just generalising sister? What about your father? Yes there are plenty of men who are leaders and balanced husbands but you won't hear their marriage stories, you only hear the bad stories and then base your perception on that.

                          I've seen tonnes of mother in laws who oppress their daughter in laws and so many I've lost count, should I now say there are no good mother in laws?

                          Although I'm not denying there are men out there who have issues in how they treat their wives but generalising it to all men is injustice. Have some husn adh dhann of your brothers.
                          Where did i say all men? Do I have to add (only some not all) after every sentence to make a point? We all have brains to think with here, we all know there are exceptions.
                          A large amount of men have these problems today, it's just how it is. Why don't brothers take the advice and make some changes instead of getting emotional.
                          Over and over we hear brothers complaining about women in the west today and when they don't know how to deal with it, they run off and go marry abroad. Just one of the many examples.
                          Last edited by Rumaysah~; 27-09-16, 05:47 PM.
                          شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                          فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                          وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                          ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                          Comment


                            Re: problems with men today

                            Originally posted by candyapple View Post
                            Brother I think I understand what she's saying. It's in the context of her everyday experience in her culture and I think the sisters just fed up of having to deal with it.
                            Yeah maybe but it's done well done to taint her image of men. I'm just reassuring people here that not all men are like that, in fact many are opposite so don't be too negative about marriage that's all.

                            Comment


                              Re: problems with men today

                              Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                              I see these issues everyday, that's why it is important. no one questions this stuff.
                              They are going to be married one day and sisters need men, not over emotional females in a male body who have no control.
                              We got men these days saying rubbish like "the woman is always right, always apologise even if you don't know what for"....what on earth is that! is that logical?
                              I heard one speaker saying when it comes to women we always say "we hear and obey"...then men want respect and to be obeyed?
                              And these man you're claiming constitute the majority? Yeaaaaah, no.

                              Comment


                                Re: problems with men today

                                Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                                Where did i say all men? Do I have to add (only some not all) after every sentence to make a point? We all have brains to think with here, we all know there are exceptions.
                                The majority of men have these problems today, it's just how it is. Why don't brothers take the advice and make some changes instead of getting emotional.
                                Over and over we hear brothers complaining about women in the west today and when they don't know how to deal with it, they run off and go marry abroad. Just one of the many examples.
                                You can say some men. And you're implying that all men are like this except for a few 'exceptions'. I'm not getting emotional sister, I don't even like having these types of discussions but I saw some points that I felt I needed to correct.

                                So what is your point exactly? Why are these men like this? Is it part of the biological make up of a man to act like this? If it's not then there is no point bringing it up here be it's just like any other issue.

                                If you want to give advice then please don't rant. I will still take the advice but you sound emotional in the OP and it's almost a complaint, if you want to advise muslims, then do so with gentleness and objectivity.

                                :jkk:

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X