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My bollywood diary... sorry...

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  • My bollywood diary... sorry...

    Salam brothers and sisters, I know this is not a blog or a diary... but I don't know to whom talk to...

    Probably some of you already know my story...

    1. I met a brother at my job place who despite showing interest (talking) never did the big step of sending a proposal and he never wanted to tell me the reason...
    2. I cut off contacts and changed job
    3. I got to know that it was due to ethnicity issues and I suffered badly
    4. He came back asking for forgiveness and asked me if I was fine with him talking to my father
    5. I refused because I moved on and because I was very hurted by his words due to races, etc...
    6. Everything was going fine... new job, peace of mind, new rishtas
    7. He got to know about brothers who were proposing to me and decided to come back again

    8. He was out of my home, talking to my father and asking for forgiveness for the words he told me and that the true reason of his initial lack of commitment was financial issues. He explained that his salary is not enough to provide for me and maintain a house as he also has to give some money to his old parents and that due to the wedding of his brother a lot of more money was spent, he said he felt shy to let me know about his financial condition and felt worthless to tell me that I needed to work, because he alone couldn't provide. He was crying while saying how much he cares about me and that he wants to marry me. My father kinda hugged him, while I was shocked, a bit far from them, wide-eyed.

    I know it looks like the scene of a western movie rather than a scene between muslims, but this is truly what happened.

    I am still shocked.

    It was easier to say "look I can't provide, you need to work, is that fine for you?" rather than set up the plot of a movie.

  • #2
    Re: My bollywood diary... sorry...

    i'm probably the worst person to give you advice for your situation sister (being unmarried), but I suggest you do Ishtikara and see what happens InshAllah. It sounds like this man may have had legitimate reason (as stated Financial stability). We all are at different stages of our lives...maybe genuinely he wasn't ready. His intentions are clear, and the fact that he has spoken to your father is admirable. Go for it. InshAllah wish you the best.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: My bollywood diary... sorry...

      Sometimes I've felt my threads have been sort of like a diary lol. But i guess ur question is if you should give it another shot or not? You can dig deep within urself and ask urself if u can start fresh and start the whole process again. If yes, then have his and ur family involved and ask each other the right questions and see if he is a good match or not. And if you cant look past this whole thing about race issue or how he didn't come forward, just be upfront and say its too late and you've moved on.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: My bollywood diary... sorry...

        He is clearly insecure about his financial situation and also fear the pressure to marry from his own race. At least he is man enough to apologise.
        Knower of human deficiency

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: My bollywood diary... sorry...

          :salams

          loooo this really made me laugh, the whole bollywood thing... so what are you thinking of doing if he proposes soon?
          [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
          [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

          [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: My bollywood diary... sorry...

            Do istikhaarah and listen to your heart. He came back for you and realised his mistake of not making his reasons clear initially so I would advise to still consider him for marriage.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My bollywood diary... sorry...

              Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
              Salam brothers and sisters, I know this is not a blog or a diary... but I don't know to whom talk to...

              Probably some of you already know my story...

              1. I met a brother at my job place who despite showing interest (talking) never did the big step of sending a proposal and he never wanted to tell me the reason...
              2. I cut off contacts and changed job
              3. I got to know that it was due to ethnicity issues and I suffered badly
              4. He came back asking for forgiveness and asked me if I was fine with him talking to my father
              5. I refused because I moved on and because I was very hurted by his words due to races, etc...
              6. Everything was going fine... new job, peace of mind, new rishtas
              7. He got to know about brothers who were proposing to me and decided to come back again

              8. He was out of my home, talking to my father and asking for forgiveness for the words he told me and that the true reason of his initial lack of commitment was financial issues. He explained that his salary is not enough to provide for me and maintain a house as he also has to give some money to his old parents and that due to the wedding of his brother a lot of more money was spent, he said he felt shy to let me know about his financial condition and felt worthless to tell me that I needed to work, because he alone couldn't provide. He was crying while saying how much he cares about me and that he wants to marry me. My father kinda hugged him, while I was shocked, a bit far from them, wide-eyed.

              I know it looks like the scene of a western movie rather than a scene between muslims, but this is truly what happened.

              I am still shocked.

              It was easier to say "look I can't provide, you need to work, is that fine for you?" rather than set up the plot of a movie.
              Wa Alaykum Assalaam Wa Rahmatullah,

              You should talk to your father and/or mother about this.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My bollywood diary... sorry...

                Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
                Salam brothers and sisters, I know this is not a blog or a diary... but I don't know to whom talk to...

                Probably some of you already know my story...

                1. I met a brother at my job place who despite showing interest (talking) never did the big step of sending a proposal and he never wanted to tell me the reason...
                2. I cut off contacts and changed job
                3. I got to know that it was due to ethnicity issues and I suffered badly
                4. He came back asking for forgiveness and asked me if I was fine with him talking to my father
                5. I refused because I moved on and because I was very hurted by his words due to races, etc...
                6. Everything was going fine... new job, peace of mind, new rishtas
                7. He got to know about brothers who were proposing to me and decided to come back again

                8. He was out of my home, talking to my father and asking for forgiveness for the words he told me and that the true reason of his initial lack of commitment was financial issues. He explained that his salary is not enough to provide for me and maintain a house as he also has to give some money to his old parents and that due to the wedding of his brother a lot of more money was spent, he said he felt shy to let me know about his financial condition and felt worthless to tell me that I needed to work, because he alone couldn't provide. He was crying while saying how much he cares about me and that he wants to marry me. My father kinda hugged him, while I was shocked, a bit far from them, wide-eyed.

                I know it looks like the scene of a western movie rather than a scene between muslims, but this is truly what happened.

                I am still shocked.

                It was easier to say "look I can't provide, you need to work, is that fine for you?" rather than set up the plot of a movie.

                There are two types of relation between work Colleagues

                (1) you met him,talk to him general things, shared information, talked about job or something about family.

                (2) You met him/her. Shared information privately, went out together, dining out and have sex relation on the hope of getting marry but could not marry.

                First stage of relation you may have success do Istakhara and then decide.

                2nd stage of relation there is no success he just wants to use you and will throw away like shopping bag.

                You have to decide at the end.
                :lailah:

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My bollywood diary... sorry...

                  Originally posted by GKM View Post
                  There are two types of relation between work Colleagues

                  (1) you met him,talk to him general things, shared information, talked about job or something about family.

                  (2) You met him/her. Shared information privately, went out together, dining out and have sex relation on the hope of getting marry but could not marry.

                  First stage of relation you may have success do Istakhara and then decide.

                  2nd stage of relation there is no success he just wants to use you and will throw away like shopping bag.

                  You have to decide at the end.

                  No no, first stage only.


                  :jkk: everyone

                  Comment

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