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  • Finding a spouse...

    Salaam and Hey

    I'm new here, first post in fact so please play nice! (one is nervous....)

    I am seriously looking to get married InshAllah. I'm in my early thirties, never been married before. People say I look younger but guess thats down to perceptions. I do have a relatively decent job MashAllah, but really struggling. The stumbling blocks I have had are, parents don't know many people, I find prospectives are too much in to the caste/ethnicity thing, and I have always worked in non-Muslim environments. I have of course tried what was advertised as a marriage app, which to be honest might work for some but I feel its a vicious circle, people talk to multiples, very superficial and so on...

    Basically my questioning is in relation to finding a spouse, or help actually in terms of finding one (just the one will do lol). Does anyone on here know of any sister who's looking? Or someone that can point me towards a matchmaker of some sort? I look for four things in a perspective piety (willingness to improve her deen), honesty, loyalty, and modesty (not just in her appearance, but the way she carries herself). I'm very open minded towards background, reverts/divorcees are most welcome.

    Of course I understand they are many brothers and sisters in the same situation as myself, I know its a long shot but my thoughts are what have I got to lose by posting on here....we all crave companionship and wanting to complete our deen so you just never know. A good friend who posts here regularly told me about this site so thought I would see I guess...

    Many thanks in advance :)

  • #2
    Re: Finding a spouse...

    wa alaykum salam
    - mosque
    - parents
    - friends
    - relatives
    - pure matrimony

    AND LOTS AND LOTS OF DUA AND HOPE IN ALLAH


    There are some other sites. Others can mention them

    If you are decent looking, have a decent enought job you should have a good chance of landing yourself a spouse.
    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



    please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
      wa alaykum salam
      - mosque
      - parents
      - friends
      - relatives
      - pure matrimony

      AND LOTS AND LOTS OF DUA AND HOPE IN ALLAH


      There are some other sites. Others can mention them

      If you are decent looking, have a decent enought job you should have a good chance of landing yourself a spouse.
      ...


      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Finding a spouse...

        Thanks for your post sister:

        I've tried all of the list - parents don't know many people. Only one I haven't is pure matrimony. However, don't want to try marriage sites InshAllah.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Finding a spouse...

          Originally posted by Creed View Post
          Thanks for your post sister:

          I've tried all of the list - parents don't know many people. Only one I haven't is pure matrimony. However, don't want to try marriage sites InshAllah.
          I kinda help out with a bengali aunty style burueau but i wouldn't feel comfortable with giving my details.

          If you are bengali, happy to pass on some contact detais of some brother who i know help out with this stuff.
          Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
          __________________________________________________ _____________________________
          If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

          You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



          please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Finding a spouse...

            Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
            I kinda help out with a bengali aunty style burueau but i wouldn't feel comfortable with giving my details.

            If you are bengali, happy to pass on some contact detais of some brother who i know help out with this stuff.
            Jzk for that sister. No I'm not Bengali, and this is what I mean by stumbling block! Anyhow many thanks for your help sister....

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Finding a spouse...

              Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
              I kinda help out with a bengali aunty style burueau but i wouldn't feel comfortable with giving my details.

              If you are bengali, happy to pass on some contact detais of some brother who i know help out with this stuff.
              Gordon Bennett.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Finding a spouse...

                Originally posted by Creed View Post
                Jzk for that sister. No I'm not Bengali, and this is what I mean by stumbling block! Anyhow many thanks for your help sister....
                well there are loads of other communities or facebook groups that cater for other communities.

                in sha allah you will find a good spoue soon
                Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Finding a spouse...

                  Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                  Gordon Bennett.
                  nice guess, but thats not my name
                  Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                  __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                  If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                  You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                  please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Finding a spouse...

                    Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                    I kinda help out with a bengali aunty style burueau but i wouldn't feel comfortable with giving my details.

                    If you are bengali, happy to pass on some contact detais of some brother who i know help out with this stuff.
                    what if someone can vouch for him? lol :1popcorn:

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Finding a spouse...

                      That's it. When I find a husband and a technical one me and him will create an ummah matrimonial service official.
                      إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Finding a spouse...

                        Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
                        what if someone can vouch for him? lol :1popcorn:
                        oh yeah who is gonna vouch for him
                        Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                        __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                        If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                        You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                        please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Finding a spouse...

                          Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                          oh yeah who is gonna vouch for him
                          hmmmmm lol

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Finding a spouse...

                            I think many of us are in the same predicament.......
                            Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Finding a spouse...

                              Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post
                              hmmmmm lol
                              Your other account where you try to find someone on here?
                              Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                              Comment

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