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  • Re: How to share/manage money when married

    The term "new money" is so disgustingly snobbish :vomit: [MENTION=19762]-Jibril-[/MENTION]
    And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
    http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

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    • Re: How to share/manage money when married

      Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
      The term "new money" is so disgustingly snobbish :vomit: @-Jibril-
      New money refers to a certain type of people.
      The ostentatious displays of wealth.
      Getting on a plane with 20kg of Indian gold weighing down your neck.

      It would be snobbish if it was referring to everyone that found new wealth but it's not referring to everyone, it's just that minority who just have to let the world know they've got the moolahs.
      There is rest only in the aakhira.
      Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

      - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

      If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
      and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
      then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

      - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

      I saw a dog without any clothes on .
      That's right, a nude dog.
      The Deepweb is disgusting.
      - Unknown -


      Links
      The Middle Road - At-Tanzil - Hifz Thread - Muslim Healthy Living
      Inheritors of Qur'aan

      Download Links




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      • Re: How to share/manage money when married

        Originally posted by -Jibril- View Post
        New money refers to a certain type of people.
        The ostentatious displays of wealth.
        Getting on a plane with 20kg of Indian gold weighing down your neck.

        It would be snobbish if it was referring to everyone that found new wealth but it's not referring to everyone, it's just that minority who just have to let the world know they've got the moolahs.
        People who have had money for generations can behave in this extravagant manner. No, the term "new money" or "nouveau riche" was designed by rich aristocrats to look down on 'new money' businessman and the like who actually worked for their money. It's essentially the rich mans "chav".

        Even if you use it differently, this is the origin of the term.
        And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
        http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

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        • Re: How to share/manage money when married

          Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
          People who have had money for generations can behave in this extravagant manner. No, the term "new money" or "nouveau riche" was designed by rich aristocrats to look down on 'new money' businessman and the like who actually worked for their money. It's essentially the rich mans "chav".

          Even if you use it differently, this is the origin of the term.
          I don't discriminate bro, I'll use the term new money for anyone that behaves in such a manner, regardless of whether they've had wealth for 10 generations or one.
          There is rest only in the aakhira.
          Man will rest in the aakhira according to how hard he strives in dunya.

          - Khaalid Ibn Al Waleed (ra) -

          If you find yourself in a time where speech is regarded as knowledge,
          and knowledge is regarded as deeds,
          then you are in the worst of times, with the worst of people.

          - Abu Hazim Al Ashja'i (ra) -

          I saw a dog without any clothes on .
          That's right, a nude dog.
          The Deepweb is disgusting.
          - Unknown -


          Links
          The Middle Road - At-Tanzil - Hifz Thread - Muslim Healthy Living
          Inheritors of Qur'aan

          Download Links




          Comment


          • Re: How to share/manage money when married

            Originally posted by -Jibril- View Post
            Find a sister that is rich within her heart.
            The ones that are poor in their hearts can be spotted a mile away, you just need to know how to ask the right questions.
            She'll still be poor, even if you gave her a million.

            Poverty is always round the corner for these type of folks, so they have a habit of hoarding as much as possible, from wherever it's possible.
            so true,JazakAllah khair

            Comment


            • Re: How to share/manage money when married

              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
              Judged? sis, why marry then? for sex? it is your man's obligation to provide for you and you don't even have to ask for it, this is something he should be doing unless he is a stingy goat giving you worth and status because of your own income. Which neither indicates geerah or the characteristics of a good muslim man.

              Lets get one thing straight and not get into this 'I can do it all, I don't need a man' western crisis that isn't finding any kind of solutions just war between husband and wives who then end up divorcing and then it's another war on how much each party gets over the divorce.

              Some women bring it on themselves and then complain he doesn't do anything. Well darling, you let him sit there like a lazy sod because you were too busy being Miss independent and the poor guy became obsolete, I mean you wanted to run the house and now you're paying the price for it- literally.

              These whole mentality of having back up should not even be there. All you need is some common sense and hikmah, although I understand that most women have to work because they don't have a guardian and they need to look after themselves. That's fair enough.

              All communtities have problems but what I've noticed here is that the somali community don't even have the men look for a potential for their daughters. The woman is doing it all. Why? Why should the girl go and find a guy for herself when her father should be doing this? From what I have learnt on this forum the somali women are doing it themselves and they should shift the workload to the men because otherwise the only thing they'll have a man for is intimacy and that's not right. He is there for a reason. Any muslim man of the household is there to run the house and protect his family, he is the guardian, he has been given more responsibilities for a reason, it should be innate in him otherwise he is a WUSS.

              I'm not against muslim women working but I don't like this dangerous path that women are taking and how lax the men are becoming. Having money because of the fear of being the 'lower hand' is putting your trust in money and denying that rizq from Allah you are putting importance on your status and wealth to give yourself worth.


              :jkk:
              It's my husbands responsibility to make sure I have clothes and shelter. And my basic needs met. Regardless of whether I work or not.

              I like to believe that majority of husbands do that.

              My own money can be spent however I want. No questions asked. And if I should wish (hypothetically speaking) to spend my money to pay for my brothers hajj, my sisters wedding, lend my friend money, give it all to a charity or blow it all on a single handbag. That's my prerogative.

              And if it's my own money. I would not be judged on how I spend it.

              And my comment about the upper hand being better than the lower hand meant, I rather do all of the above myself rather than get my husband to do it. Financial independence is s true blessing.
              Last edited by LondonGal; 16-08-16, 09:49 PM.
              https://sufisticated101.wordpress.com

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              • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
                He may be fulfilling her obligations
                brothers want dolled up wives but can't see just how expensive it gets depending on the woman.
                If you marry the model type then you are going to be paying a lot, you could easily spend 1000 in a few days and I'm sure a lot of these women know just how to do it.
                شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

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                • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                  Forget being financially independent, you can do that before marriage
                  What use is a husband if both spouses are financially independent lol, what a useless marriage!

                  tbh I don't understand why sisters work after marriage then they give birth, raise the kids, do all the house chores AND work. Why torture yourself like that? But that's their choice if that's what they want.
                  But why are those who would rather not be earning their own income, who would rather stay home and be 'dependant' on their father or husband...why are they being generalised? No they are not all anxious about poverty and no they will not go crazy with it when they see some cash. Some really dumb generalisations being mentioned somewhere above.
                  شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                  فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                  وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                  ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                  Comment


                  • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                    Forget being financially independent, you can do that before marriage
                    What use is a husband if both spouses are financially independent lol, what a useless marriage!

                    tbh I don't understand why sisters work after marriage then they give birth, raise the kids, do all the house chores AND work. Why torture yourself like that? But that's their choice if that's what they want.
                    But why are those who would rather not be earning their own income, who would rather stay home and be 'dependant' on their father or husband...why are they being generalised? No they are not all anxious about poverty and no they will not go crazy with it when they see some cash. Some really dumb generalisations being mentioned somewhere above.
                    Some women's self-worth is tied to their bank accounts. Sad.

                    Comment


                    • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                      Originally posted by quark View Post
                      Some women's self-worth is tied to their bank accounts. Sad.
                      that really is pathetically sad,

                      Nauzubillah min zaliq

                      :jkk:
                      http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                      "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                      – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

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                      • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                        ...

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                        • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                          Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                          Forget being financially independent, you can do that before marriage
                          What use is a husband if both spouses are financially independent lol, what a useless marriage!

                          tbh I don't understand why sisters work after marriage then they give birth, raise the kids, do all the house chores AND work. Why torture yourself like that? But that's their choice if that's what they want.
                          But why are those who would rather not be earning their own income, who would rather stay home and be 'dependant' on their father or husband...why are they being generalised? No they are not all anxious about poverty and no they will not go crazy with it when they see some cash. Some really dumb generalisations being mentioned somewhere above.
                          There are sisters on this very forum who work. I'm sure they don't consider their husbands useless.

                          They would only be useless if they were making their wives help pay for the necessities: food, shelter, clothing. Things which are his obligation.
                          Last edited by Stoic Believer; 16-08-16, 10:37 PM.

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                          • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                            Originally posted by Saif-Uddin View Post
                            that really is pathetically sad,

                            Nauzubillah min zaliq

                            :jkk:
                            Loolll
                            ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                            "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                            :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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                            • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                              Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                              Forget being financially independent, you can do that before marriage
                              What use is a husband if both spouses are financially independent lol, what a useless marriage!

                              tbh I don't understand why sisters work after marriage then they give birth, raise the kids, do all the house chores AND work. Why torture yourself like that? But that's their choice if that's what they want.
                              But why are those who would rather not be earning their own income, who would rather stay home and be 'dependant' on their father or husband...why are they being generalised? No they are not all anxious about poverty and no they will not go crazy with it when they see some cash. Some really dumb generalisations being mentioned somewhere above.
                              well there's basically the reason of being "financially independent" which you addressed ukthi. then there's the career chasers who have to make a name for themselves at the expense of their kids, family. then there's brothers who can't handle the financial responsibility, and Need their wives to work, to make ends meet. Then you also have women who make demands beyond the husbands financial capability, so the husband refuses because it's not his obligation to feed her money grabbing habits, so she goes to work to satisfy her bank balance,

                              :jkk:
                              Last edited by Saif-Uddin; 16-08-16, 10:55 PM.
                              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                              Comment


                              • Re: How to share/manage money when married

                                Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                                There are sisters on this very forum who work. I'm sure they don't consider their husbands useless.

                                They would only be useless if they were making their wives help pay for the necessities: food, shelter, clothing. Things which are his obligation.
                                lol, don't open the can of worms akhi,

                                I know brothers who NEED their wives to work or they can't make ends meet, a lot of them own houses bought on mortgages, and both husband and wife working full time.
                                http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                                "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                                – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                                Comment

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