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Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do this?

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  • Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do this?

    I'm only 15, but my parents are already thinking about my future marriage pbbffht.

    Anyways, parents are the "you-gotta-become-a-doctor-and-be-better-than-us-so-we-can-feel-validated" type. So, naturally, they want me to finish uni and become a doctor or something. They want me to get married young, but to an older guy who's already finished university, so he can support me and make money until I finish school.

    I dont mind any of that, except, idk how I feel about an older guy. Parents said maybe around 5 years older--If i'm mature enough, I don't mind getting married at around 20, or even my last year of high school. But, I think it'd be nice to experience life with someone who's my age...? We'll both be learning new things together, and it sounds fun :D I'm also afraid that if I were to marry an older dude, he'd get fed up with me for being below his level, new to living on my own, etc, etc

    So what do you think? It's not something i'm /particularly/ worried about at this age, but I'm just curious on your thoughts. Would you do the same?

  • #2
    Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

    :salams:

    At fifteen I was enjoying watching nickelodeon and chilling out living the gangsta life. No marriage talks. It was beautiful.

    Five years older is okay, depends what both of your personalities are like.

    It all depends. Just because he will be older doesn't necessarily mean he will be this wise panda. He could be less mature than you. You guys can still skip to the park :wacko:
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

      Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
      depends what both of your personalities are like
      Yes, it's more a matter of personality than a matter of age.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

        I think 5 years apart is quite common. 2-7 years apart is the range I see the most.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

          Originally posted by ashmeo View Post
          I think 5 years apart is quite common. 2-7 years apart is the range I see the most.
          Yeah but five years is different depending on the respective ages. A 22 year old with a 27 year old is different to a 15 year old with a 20 year old. For the latter, those five years involve A LOT of maturation. I know I matured a huge amount in that time. Also, if she marries a 20 year old who is immature enough to vibe with a 15 year old - I think that's cause for concern.

          Also, is this legal in your country OP? We don't want anyone going to jail.
          And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
          http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
            :salams:

            At fifteen I was enjoying watching nickelodeon and chilling out living the gangsta life. No marriage talks. It was beautiful.

            Five years older is okay, depends what both of your personalities are like.

            It all depends. Just because he will be older doesn't necessarily mean he will be this wise panda. He could be less mature than you. You guys can still skip to the park :wacko:
            that'd be nice but my parents want me to grow up fast, lol. However, I would enjoy skipping to the park.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

              Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
              Yeah but five years is different depending on the respective ages. A 22 year old with a 27 year old is different to a 15 year old with a 20 year old. For the latter, those five years involve A LOT of maturation. I know I matured a huge amount in that time. Also, if she marries a 20 year old who is immature enough to vibe with a 15 year old - I think that's cause for concern.

              Also, is this legal in your country OP? We don't want anyone going to jail.
              Yes of course, the thought of marrying at 15 didn't even cross my mind. 20 + 2-7 is :up:

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

                Errr no
                They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

                  no, no, sorry if this was unclear, lol. parents arent trying to get me married /now/ just wanting to look/talk for the future

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

                    its your choice. if this is what you want then tell this to your parents, you are allowed to have the final say as you are the one who will be getting married so don't let your parents pressure you into something that you don't want to do

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

                      :salams

                      Your parents seem to think you and your future husband are same ATM machine.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

                        Originally posted by caspianbound View Post
                        that'd be nice but my parents want me to grow up fast, lol. However, I would enjoy skipping to the park.
                        yep, enjoy the swings while you can

                        I miss being a teenager but I don't miss school :rotfl: it was usually dragon ballz time after school

                        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

                          I would let her get married to someone her own age if she wanted to, even in education etc...

                          I think we do the males being older thing because females "expire" earlier than males? So males are advised to wed someone younger and females told vice versa.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

                            Originally posted by caspianbound View Post
                            I'm only 15, but my parents are already thinking about my future marriage pbbffht.

                            Anyways, parents are the "you-gotta-become-a-doctor-and-be-better-than-us-so-we-can-feel-validated" type. So, naturally, they want me to finish uni and become a doctor or something. They want me to get married young, but to an older guy who's already finished university, so he can support me and make money until I finish school.

                            I dont mind any of that, except, idk how I feel about an older guy. Parents said maybe around 5 years older--If i'm mature enough, I don't mind getting married at around 20, or even my last year of high school. But, I think it'd be nice to experience life with someone who's my age...? We'll both be learning new things together, and it sounds fun :D I'm also afraid that if I were to marry an older dude, he'd get fed up with me for being below his level, new to living on my own, etc, etc

                            So what do you think? It's not something i'm /particularly/ worried about at this age, but I'm just curious on your thoughts. Would you do the same?
                            that doesn't seem like a nice attitude kiddo

                            they just want the best for u

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Does this seem like a good idea to you? Would you try to make your daughters do t

                              Originally posted by caspianbound View Post
                              I'm only 15, but my parents are already thinking about my future marriage pbbffht.

                              Anyways, parents are the "you-gotta-become-a-doctor-and-be-better-than-us-so-we-can-feel-validated" type. So, naturally, they want me to finish uni and become a doctor or something. They want me to get married young, but to an older guy who's already finished university, so he can support me and make money until I finish school.

                              I dont mind any of that, except, idk how I feel about an older guy. Parents said maybe around 5 years older--If i'm mature enough, I don't mind getting married at around 20, or even my last year of high school. But, I think it'd be nice to experience life with someone who's my age...? We'll both be learning new things together, and it sounds fun :D I'm also afraid that if I were to marry an older dude, he'd get fed up with me for being below his level, new to living on my own, etc, etc

                              So what do you think? It's not something i'm /particularly/ worried about at this age, but I'm just curious on your thoughts. Would you do the same?
                              hello. i dont think 5 years is that big of age gap. most women prefer older because i think men mature mentally slower lol. obviously u will be closer if u go to struggles together but women like security whether financial or physical. U guys can plan all u want but allah swt is the best of planners and he always wins. at the end make sure hes a good muslim who will love u regardless and be a good husband father. dont matter if hes same age or 5 years older. love is love.

                              it takes a long time to become a doctor and if u end up becoming a stay at home wife then that will be a waste. Im hesitant of marrying a doctor because ive seen how much time and dedication it takes and usually u wont become a full doctor till ur 28 and start brining in big bucks and then u have to start a family too but u dont have time for kids so u put them in day care. So u have so much money but dont have a good family structure since both parents are out working making money. So kid will have a lot of things but not love and support and they go to others and get involved in haram stuff. So therefore i probably dont wanna marry a doctor. Yes ive thought about this before lol.

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