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A brothers perspective to marriage

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  • #31
    Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
    what is the reason for rejection though?

    i would happily reject a woman who was, for example obese. as a bit of a fatty currently if someone did likewise fair enough

    but to reject a sister for covering? or a brother for being too islamic?
    I don't know, you tell me?

    The only thing I can think of is not lowering their gaze and probably being porn addicts maybe?

    Mutual attraction is important but there is not point of acting like they will 'settle' for a pious individual. We know they want the whole package.
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    • #32
      Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

      Just to explain this thread came about as a response to some sisters posts and threads around rejection based on reasons other than piety

      it was discussed on another thread that having a big beard often puts some sisters off, wanted to see if there were other reasons

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

        Some people have a problem with short people
        Narrated by Anas ibn Malik RA: Allah's Messenger :saw: said. "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."

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        • #34
          Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

          Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
          :rotfl:

          Don't you know? They call themselves pious with a beard and then they reject sisters that are pious, fully covered without plucked eyebrows. (Not talking about myself)

          :wacko:

          Good they get rejected for their looks too!
          why did they get rejected though? if they are pious and covering etc that is a good thing surely?

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          • #35
            Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
            I don't know, you tell me?

            The only thing I can think of is not lowering their gaze and probably being porn addicts maybe?

            Mutual attraction is important but there is not point of acting like they will 'settle' for a pious individual. We know they want the whole package.
            that doesnt make sense tbh

            lowering the gaze and porn addicts? what

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            • #36
              Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

              Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
              why did they get rejected though? if they are pious and covering etc that is a good thing surely?
              That's what i'm asking you

              I don't know, maybe because they don't look like a Bollywood actress? Not tall enough? or white enough? I think it throws them back when they see a real human's face without the paint.

              I'm not talking about obese individuals.
              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                that doesnt make sense tbh

                lowering the gaze and porn addicts? what
                The things you see with your eyes are the things you will want
                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                  Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                  The things you see with your eyes are the things you will want
                  dont get it

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                    Trust me, it's true. It's probably the biggest reason young single Muslim men nowadays don't grow it or keep it short.

                    So you would marry a man with a fist length beard then?
                    yes!

                    Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                    Just to explain this thread came about as a response to some sisters posts and threads around rejection based on reasons other than piety

                    it was discussed on another thread that having a big beard often puts some sisters off, wanted to see if there were other reasons

                    if he's shorter then me, EXTREMLY hairy (not beard obvs, but ..yeah, eek!), huge belly or over-weight in general, evil smile, :1popcorn: what else..

                    looks like he puts in a lot of effort behind his appearance, like hair and clothes, basically trying too hard in his looks.
                    Indeed we belong to Allah,
                    and indeed to Him we will return.


                    Quran 2:156

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                      Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                      That's what i'm asking you

                      I don't know, maybe because they don't look like a Bollywood actress? Not tall enough? or white enough? I think it throws them back when they see a real human's face without the paint.

                      I'm not talking about obese individuals.
                      Think you are ranting bateeji (niece as you keep calling me uncle)

                      makeup is a no no if you are a practicing brother (maybe the subtle stuff but certainly not war paint). and there is a beauty in dark skin that isnt in white (and i am married to a white woman although i grew up wanting to marry a somalian or bengali with dark skin)

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                        The only thing I can think of is not lowering their gaze and probably being porn addicts maybe?
                        Bit of an extreme conclusion to be making there.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                          Originally posted by ninety1daisies View Post
                          yes!




                          if he's shorter then me, EXTREMLY hairy (not beard obvs, but ..yeah, eek!), huge belly or over-weight in general, evil smile, :1popcorn: what else..

                          looks like he puts in a lot of effort behind his appearance, like hair and clothes, basically trying too hard in his looks.
                          we get hairier with age so be prepared

                          but yeah i can accept things like over weight, although i did get in trouble on here once for saying i rejected a girl for being over weight

                          so basically you are saying what men get accused of all the time ie there is more to it than piety? they got to be smart and good lucking and not hairy and fat

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                            Originally posted by ninety1daisies View Post
                            yes!




                            if he's shorter then me, EXTREMLY hairy (not beard obvs, but ..yeah, eek!), huge belly or over-weight in general, evil smile, :1popcorn: what else..

                            looks like he puts in a lot of effort behind his appearance, like hair and clothes, basically trying too hard in his looks.
                            Congratulations on being the 5%.

                            You'll have to define "trying too hard". It is Sunnah for a man to take good care of his appearance.

                            And how will you know he's hairy? He's obviously not going to be taking his shirt off.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                              Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                              Bit of an extreme conclusion to be making there.
                              TBH i was tempted to say that those type would marry anything with a pulse surely? not reject them

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Re: A brothers perspective to marriage

                                Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                                Think you are ranting bateeji (niece as you keep calling me uncle)

                                makeup is a no no if you are a practicing brother (maybe the subtle stuff but certainly not war paint). and there is a beauty in dark skin that isnt in white (and i am married to a white woman although i grew up wanting to marry a somalian or bengali with dark skin)
                                So anything you don't believe is called ranting?

                                The subtle stuff? A person like you should be banning that or any other make up in front of a non mahram. There is no such thing as subtle stuff especially if you're a hard-core salafi (not saying you are)

                                If you don't want to believe me that's your call. I'm not the only person that has witnessed this and that is why they're all the same, they just have to be 'decent'.

                                It's very laughable you're saying that about dark skin. No one will take that seriously. It's more of a joke tbh
                                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                                Comment

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