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Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

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  • Theistic
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by sister_82 View Post
    Wa Alaykum Salaam

    Yes she does need your permission, and this is something that you need to talk about and discuss so that there are no misunderstandings.
    Obviously, sisters shouldnt take the mick and stay at their parents house all the time, I mean you have responsibilities at home
    Subhan Allah.

    Leave a comment:


  • sister_82
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Wa Alaykum Salaam

    Yes she does need your permission, and this is something that you need to talk about and discuss so that there are no misunderstandings.
    Obviously, sisters shouldnt take the mick and stay at their parents house all the time, I mean you have responsibilities at home
    Last edited by sister_82; 01-08-16, 11:20 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Theistic
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by slaveuk View Post
    Technically you don't need a reason. You can just say no.

    But be realistic and understand she is a human being. She misses her parents. Women often have very strong bonds with their mothers and even fathers and yes even brothers/sisters that a lot of men don't get.

    However your point is understand and I would advise you that whenever she does visit let her go "reluctantly", making it crystal clear that you miss her and are lonely without her as if you don't she may turn everything around and complain that you are all too willing to be without her.. But be easy going and let her go as it will improve your relationship, show that you care about her parents and that you care about the relationship she has with them.

    When she goes, make sure you message her etc with romantic messages etc.

    HAVING SAID THAT, please do not come across as clingy and possessive. For both genders it can be a real turn off.
    yes, true.

    i am just discussing it as a general topic, though... and to keep reminding myself too.

    :jkk:

    Leave a comment:


  • slaveuk
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by Theistic View Post
    "Husband feels lonely & sad without her" <-- is it good reason for not allowing her?
    Technically you don't need a reason. You can just say no.

    But be realistic and understand she is a human being. She misses her parents. Women often have very strong bonds with their mothers and even fathers and yes even brothers/sisters that a lot of men don't get.

    However your point is understand and I would advise you that whenever she does visit let her go "reluctantly", making it crystal clear that you miss her and are lonely without her as if you don't she may turn everything around and complain that you are all too willing to be without her.. But be easy going and let her go as it will improve your relationship, show that you care about her parents and that you care about the relationship she has with them.

    When she goes, make sure you message her etc with romantic messages etc.

    HAVING SAID THAT, please do not come across as clingy and possessive. For both genders it can be a real turn off.
    Last edited by slaveuk; 01-08-16, 10:47 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • m7md
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by Theistic View Post
    i know some, i want to know more, brother.

    yes, i have.. Alhamdolillah.
    mashallah nice,

    wife staying at her husbands house is a marriage principle right, and the permission to leave the house is a must, e.g. is a big sin if the wife leaves the house without the husbands permission.
    but u knowing this doesnt matter, coz if the wife deny accepting this then it wont matter.

    Leave a comment:


  • Theistic
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by m7md View Post
    u seriously dont know this, or u want to act as if u dont know,

    do u have a wife?
    i know some, i want to know more, brother.

    yes, i have.. Alhamdolillah.

    Leave a comment:


  • Theistic
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by slaveuk View Post
    I sincerely hope that things haven't got the the stage where rulings need to be invoked because one of the two spouses is being unreasonable or isn't fulfilling their obligations or because there is a bad atmosphere.

    Under normal circumstances I would say it is good manners to check with the husband that it is OK especially if he needs his wife for some reason in which case a reasonable husband would ask her to postpone it for a bit.

    If things are bad then a wife will excessively visit her parents to get away from her husband while the husband invokes the ruling that he must give her permission. And then it all gets messy. Worse would be a husband encouraging his wife to visit her mum more just so that he can have more time alone without her.

    Also a point worth remembering is that a husband if he is in a super good mood might one day say to his wife of course you may go there's no need to ask me and this would be a valid general permission , particularly if her parents live nearby and they help with childcare etc and it would be impractical to ask every single time. But it could be that he may come to regret this blanket approval especially if the wife begins to spend almost all her time at her parents home.

    I have sisters and I know that it is very easy for parents to forget that their daughter is married to a man who also has rights over her, and will indirectly encourage their daughters to come over and stay for long periods of time especially if they have kids and would not even think about asking her to check that her husband is ok with it. They will sometimes call up the daughter and say "come over for a few weeks the kids have got holiday" and almost insist, not realising that they don't have authority over her husband. But the daughter (wife) feels obliged and also eager to agree and will then place moral pressure on her husband to agree, or perhaps just "let him know" that she is going to her parents, leaving her husband powerless to intervene.

    So I think the answer is yes she must ask permission but I think that scholars are quite emphatic that a husband should not refuse for no good reason. In any case I hope there are no underlying tensions or issues.
    "Husband feels lonely & sad without her" <-- is it good reason for not allowing her?

    Leave a comment:


  • m7md
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by Theistic View Post
    :salams

    After marriage, does wife need her husband's permission or willingness if she wants to visit her parents & wishes to stay at their home for few days?
    u seriously dont know this, or u want to act as if u dont know,

    do u have a wife?

    Leave a comment:


  • slaveuk
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by Theistic View Post
    :salams

    After marriage, does wife need her husband's permission or willingness if she wants to visit her parents & wishes to stay at their home for few days?
    I sincerely hope that things haven't got the the stage where rulings need to be invoked because one of the two spouses is being unreasonable or isn't fulfilling their obligations or because there is a bad atmosphere.

    Under normal circumstances I would say it is good manners to check with the husband that it is OK especially if he needs his wife for some reason in which case a reasonable husband would ask her to postpone it for a bit.

    If things are bad then a wife will excessively visit her parents to get away from her husband while the husband invokes the ruling that he must give her permission. And then it all gets messy. Worse would be a husband encouraging his wife to visit her mum more just so that he can have more time alone without her.

    Also a point worth remembering is that a husband if he is in a super good mood might one day say to his wife of course you may go there's no need to ask me and this would be a valid general permission , particularly if her parents live nearby and they help with childcare etc and it would be impractical to ask every single time. But it could be that he may come to regret this blanket approval especially if the wife begins to spend almost all her time at her parents home.

    I have sisters and I know that it is very easy for parents to forget that their daughter is married to a man who also has rights over her, and will indirectly encourage their daughters to come over and stay for long periods of time especially if they have kids and would not even think about asking her to check that her husband is ok with it. They will sometimes call up the daughter and say "come over for a few weeks the kids have got holiday" and almost insist, not realising that they don't have authority over her husband. But the daughter (wife) feels obliged and also eager to agree and will then place moral pressure on her husband to agree, or perhaps just "let him know" that she is going to her parents, leaving her husband powerless to intervene.

    So I think the answer is yes she must ask permission but I think that scholars are quite emphatic that a husband should not refuse for no good reason. In any case I hope there are no underlying tensions or issues.

    Leave a comment:


  • ibzy
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    I have said it before.
    Said what before?

    Leave a comment:


  • Linkdeutscher
    replied
    Originally posted by ibzy View Post
    dude, did you get married recently?
    I have said it before.

    Leave a comment:


  • ibzy
    replied
    Re: Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    dude, did you get married recently?

    Leave a comment:


  • Linkdeutscher
    replied
    Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    :wswrwb:
    Yes, as far as I know.

    But you've been married for quite some time, so shouldn't you already know?

    Leave a comment:


  • Theistic
    started a topic Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    Wife's Stay at Her Parents' Home

    :salams

    After marriage, does wife need her husband's permission or willingness if she wants to visit her parents & wishes to stay at their home for few days?
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