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you 'settle' why?

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  • you 'settle' why?

    :salams

    say you prefer a taller girl just because I dunno you're rather tall. but you decide to meet the shorter girl anyway because in your mind 'as long as she's practicing and has good character Alhamdulillah, we can't get everything'

    are you going to be satisfied with her in terms of looks? since height or maybe skin color, weight whatever has an effect on your attraction. won't it cause problems in the future for you that she is lacking one of these things that you decided to settle for anyways?
    Indeed we belong to Allah,
    and indeed to Him we will return.


    Quran 2:156

  • #2
    Re: you 'settle' why?

    Once you're attracted and are pleased with the qualities of your spouse, I don't think those factors really matter anymore.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: you 'settle' why?

      UF always mention spouse heights.

      Is height really that big of a deal? I don't know, I feel that would be the very last of my concerns regarding a spouse, if anything I wouldn't even care less for it to even be a concern.
      Each to their own I guess.



      Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
      Once you're attracted and are pleased with the qualities of your spouse, I don't think those factors really matter anymore.
      Agreed.
      الحرام قبل العيب، و الله قبل الناس

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: you 'settle' why?

        well obviously if he married her than he found her somewhat attractive. u have to give up somewhere. ur not gonna find a model wife whose the perfect house wife and islamic scholar and has perfect personality and character. same way the guy isnt. so u see whats important. so if u like everything about her except she maybe a bit shorter than what u had hoped, i would NOT call that settling. i would call that accepting them for who they are same way u want them to accept u with ur good and bad. as long as nothing bad is MAJOR and u can live with it. and height is NOT a major factor especially since the poor girl has no control over it.

        settling is when ur looking for a good muslim man but end up marrying a "muslim" man who drinks alcohol or who beats u because u fear u will be alone or cant do anything better. thats settling.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: you 'settle' why?

          Originally posted by ninety1daisies View Post
          :salams

          say you prefer a taller girl just because I dunno you're rather tall. but you decide to meet the shorter girl anyway because in your mind 'as long as she's practicing and has good character Alhamdulillah, we can't get everything'

          are you going to be satisfied with her in terms of looks? since height or maybe skin color, weight whatever has an effect on your attraction. won't it cause problems in the future for you that she is lacking one of these things that you decided to settle for anyways?
          It depends. If in this example, a big part of his attraction comes from the girl's height, then yes it could cause problems. But if height is just a bonus, not really a big deal either way, then it shouldn't be a problem.

          I think most guys "settle" in terms of looks anyway. We'd all love to marry a gorgeous woman, but not all of us can. And some of us will have to sacrifice looks for deen.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: you 'settle' why?

            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
            It depends. If in this example, a big part of his attraction comes from the girl's height, then yes it could cause problems. But if height is just a bonus, not really a big deal either way, then it shouldn't be a problem.

            I think most guys "settle" in terms of looks anyway. We'd all love to marry a gorgeous woman, but not all of us can. And some of us will have to sacrifice looks for deen.
            do you think that the fact that he knows her height but he still wants to make an effort and come out and meet her, does that probably mean height is just a bonus to him and not a big part of his attraction?
            Indeed we belong to Allah,
            and indeed to Him we will return.


            Quran 2:156

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: you 'settle' why?

              To add, sometimes sisters can be very confusing. You want brothers to choose deen over beauty, but at the same time you want your husband to think you're more beautiful and attractive than any other woman. :scratch:

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: you 'settle' why?

                Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                To add, sometimes sisters can be very confusing. You want brothers to choose deen over beauty, but at the same time you want your husband to think you're more beautiful and attractive than any other woman. :scratch:
                :rotfl:
                Indeed we belong to Allah,
                and indeed to Him we will return.


                Quran 2:156

                Comment


                • #9
                  you 'settle' why?

                  Originally posted by ninety1daisies View Post
                  Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                  It depends. If in this example, a big part of his attraction comes from the girl's height, then yes it could cause problems. But if height is just a bonus, not really a big deal either way, then it shouldn't be a problem.

                  I think most guys "settle" in terms of looks anyway. We'd all love to marry a gorgeous woman, but not all of us can. And some of us will have to sacrifice looks for deen.
                  do you think that the fact that he knows her height but he still wants to make an effort and come out and meet her, does that probably mean height is just a bonus to him and not a big part of his attraction?
                  If he's making the effort and pursuing her, he's more than satisfied with her looks.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: you 'settle' why?

                    Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                    Once you're attracted and are pleased with the qualities of your spouse, I don't think those factors really matter anymore.
                    Perhaps, InshaAllah.
                    Originally posted by EritreanMuslimah View Post
                    UF always mention spouse heights.

                    Is height really that big of a deal? I don't know, I feel that would be the very last of my concerns regarding a spouse, if anything I wouldn't even care less for it to even be a concern.
                    Each to their own I guess.





                    Agreed.
                    Height is a big factor for some.

                    Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                    well obviously if he married her than he found her somewhat attractive. u have to give up somewhere. ur not gonna find a model wife whose the perfect house wife and islamic scholar and has perfect personality and character. same way the guy isnt. so u see whats important. so if u like everything about her except she maybe a bit shorter than what u had hoped, i would NOT call that settling. i would call that accepting them for who they are same way u want them to accept u with ur good and bad. as long as nothing bad is MAJOR and u can live with it. and height is NOT a major factor especially since the poor girl has no control over it.

                    settling is when ur looking for a good muslim man but end up marrying a "muslim" man who drinks alcohol or who beats u because u fear u will be alone or cant do anything better. thats settling.
                    Hmmm
                    Indeed we belong to Allah,
                    and indeed to Him we will return.


                    Quran 2:156

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: you 'settle' why?

                      Lol, looks fade.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: you 'settle' why?

                        [MENTION=122131]Stoic Believer[/MENTION] takes the 'looks' part of the marriage very seriously lol.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: you 'settle' why?

                          Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                          [MENTION=122131]Stoic Believer[/MENTION] takes the 'looks' part of the marriage very seriously lol.
                          lolss

                          you don't?
                          Indeed we belong to Allah,
                          and indeed to Him we will return.


                          Quran 2:156

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: you 'settle' why?

                            Originally posted by ninety1daisies View Post
                            lolss

                            you don't?
                            Well everyone takes looks seriously but stoic is just a little too focused on it lol.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: you 'settle' why?

                              Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                              Well everyone takes looks seriously but stoic is just a little too focused on it lol.
                              lolsss
                              Indeed we belong to Allah,
                              and indeed to Him we will return.


                              Quran 2:156

                              Comment

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