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The lonely chair.

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  • #16
    Re: The lonely chair.

    Originally posted by wisdom-17 View Post
    Not being married bothers me a lot. I'm going through a constant internal struggle against myself where at times I feel like I'm just clinging onto the edge of a cliff by my fingernails.
    that is so sad :/

    is anyone helping you look for a wife?
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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    • #17
      Re: The lonely chair.

      Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
      that is so sad :/

      is anyone helping you look for a wife?
      Yep, people are looking.

      Alhamdulillah for our religion, we're taught to have faith and patience. I can cope most of the time but occasionally there are some dark moments.

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      • #18
        Re: The lonely chair.

        As I gazed into the empty seat,I realized that I hadn't genuinely missed the ghost that resides there, in some time.That is also when I looked into my own soul and realized that, with fire and hot iron, the loneliness had been purged.

        I know not what caused this great burning, and I felt not it's flames, only that the void was no longer present. It wasn't gone, but perhaps it was filled. I felt no more religious than the day before, no more peaceful but the edges of sadness were broken.

        I thought nothing of it, until I witnessed a Muslim couple
        Walking together and I felt no difference.Usually I will smile and a warm feeling washes through me, but nothing this time. Then a beautiful woman smiled and flirted, yet nothing stirred within me. Later that night I watched a movie that usually stirs me, but nothing.

        The cold shower felt like nothing and I shunned the hot setting, no shock occurred to my skin.

        For the world, it seems, I am stronger, but the heart that blows cold is actually weak. Perhaps Allah will send an angel to relight the extinguished embers of my heart, before it is yet too late, before the embers turn to ash.

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        • #19
          Re: The lonely chair.

          I discovered, that my heart had not actually been extinguished, but rather my imaan had increased. I found myself no longer concerned with marriage , because I realize that this life is so short, even if I lived 80 years. Soon, I will be in Jannah(inshallah), and there I will be able to have anything I want. Forever.

          So for all of you who may still be experiencing loneliness, pain, and heartbreak, you will go through the stages. Just make sure that the final stage is the one where you accept the Qadr of Allah, and know that their is an infinitely better spouse awaiting you in Jannah, if you do not have one now.

          But don't embrace monasticism, always be willing to accept that there may be someone out there for you, and that you will eventually meet him/her.

          ~fin.

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          • #20
            Re: The lonely chair.

            One last thing: Forget all notions of extreme beauty, compatibility, pre-marital love, and money/status.

            For men: When you meet someone who is religious, of good character, loves Allah and strives to please him, and is good-enough looking to not disgust you, marry her.
            For women:When you meet someone who is religious, of good character, loves Allah and strives to please him, and is good-enough looking to not disgust you, and further can provide enough for your maintenance/housing. Marry him.

            Infinitely happier will you be, if you do this.

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            • #21
              Re: The lonely chair.

              Originally posted by SartorialMuslim View Post

              But ya Allah, the first man was 70 cubits tall, and lived in heaven, yet even with all that he cried for companionship. How can us mere diluted blood line descendants of only 6 feet tall possibly endure what he could not? Yet you have already informed me that you shall never burden me with anything greater than I can bear. Word given, trust given, received.

              .
              One of my favorite parts.

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              • #22
                Re: The lonely chair.

                Call me cold and unfeeling but I can't bear stories like the OP. People should Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Marriage is a Sunnah. First and foremost. It is not a charity. If you want a companionship then make sure you are sane enough and able enough to seek it in the ways this deen has said. Yeah sure you could do so in non halal ways but then that is the path to iblees.

                No man or woman should feel sorry for herself because she can't find someone. Some of the best muslims ever created on this earth went through their whole lives without companionship. They are better than you in faith and their dua much more powerful. And yet they died alone. Are you better than them? No. This is life.

                I had to wait 10 years. 10 years of looking and searching before I found someone. Not once did I feel sorry for myself as I saw people holding hands and kissing in front of me. It only made me feel more determined and also feel proud of myself that despite many opportunities to fall into sin and haram, I was strong enough to withstand it. Everytime I thought of committing a sin, I remember who I was and who was lord. And today after 10 years I found someone unlike anything I have seen. The moral of the story is quite simple. The good is out there. If you have the patience, the ability to provide and the personality of mumin who knows his responsibilities.

                Sorry for the long rambling lol I will stop now

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                • #23
                  Re: The lonely chair.

                  OP you are an amazing write. I hope you continue writing, maybe write a novel for people to read. You have real talent. Reading the first post I was not sure if the author was talking about "future spouse & saving everything for her" or he was remembering "Ex-wife" and feeling her presence.

                  After giving OP the compliment of being a great writer, I must say, your 2nd post and end of this story was rushed. Maybe due to peoples comment you felt like concluding. But you could have done so much more with this story, explored so much more and gone in depth instead of rushing to conclusion. I suggest you scratch the advise you gave and extend your story for people to read/enjoy. I am sure many brother/sister here will feel your pain & relate to this story.

                  START OVER

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                  • #24
                    Re: The lonely chair.

                    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
                    Call me cold and unfeeling but I can't bear stories like the OP. People should Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Marriage is a Sunnah. First and foremost. It is not a charity. If you want a companionship then make sure you are sane enough and able enough to seek it in the ways this deen has said. Yeah sure you could do so in non halal ways but then that is the path to iblees.

                    No man or woman should feel sorry for herself because she can't find someone. Some of the best muslims ever created on this earth went through their whole lives without companionship. They are better than you in faith and their dua much more powerful. And yet they died alone. Are you better than them? No. This is life.

                    I had to wait 10 years. 10 years of looking and searching before I found someone. Not once did I feel sorry for myself as I saw people holding hands and kissing in front of me. It only made me feel more determined and also feel proud of myself that despite many opportunities to fall into sin and haram, I was strong enough to withstand it. Everytime I thought of committing a sin, I remember who I was and who was lord. And today after 10 years I found someone unlike anything I have seen. The moral of the story is quite simple. The good is out there. If you have the patience, the ability to provide and the personality of mumin who knows his responsibilities.

                    Sorry for the long rambling lol I will stop now
                    No allahumma baarik I read this post a few times, it was really uplifting and strengthening so :jkk: because your conviction in your words really comes through

                    don't be harsh on op though because he is extraverted feeling. This is how he expresses but internally they are usually strong.
                    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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                    • #25
                      Re: The lonely chair.

                      Originally posted by SartorialMuslim View Post
                      As I sit in this dark room, the darkness overwhelms. The silence is so loud , I need to cover my ears. The movie playing in front of me helps, the actors are my companions. I am almost reluctant to switch off the projector, because then my friends would go away. But my body has needs, I must eat, I must sleep, I must work, and I must continue my studies. So I go to my kitchen and prepare a meal..... such a delicious meal... BBQ chicken with mixed vegetables and a sour cream cheese potato. I made too much, guess I'm still thinking that someone will be eating with me. Regardless, its good practice for when that day does come, I'll be prepared, and she'll be happy. That day is coming.... right?

                      Eh, but life isn't all about marriage and being with someone. One must learn to be happy with oneSelf. When I recite Qur'an all of my troubles and worries go away. In the moment of the recitation, the world is perfect. Yet, the recitation must end, and as my tongue forms the last harakat of the ayah, the chair that sits empty beside me begins to whisper sweet nothings in my ear once again. I ignore the insidious whisper laying down in my bed to rest my brain after much recitation. The bed is also too large, perhaps I purchased it for the ability to roll over? In my own conscious, however, I know that I never move when I sleep. I have one too many pillow. Perhaps I could use it when the other one is in the wash, but I know why I bought it. Too bad.

                      Time to go to work,look at the legions of non-muslims walking down the street hand in hand, enjoying the presence of each other. Look at them eating together, discussing their day. They are not Allah's chosen, yet they have what the chosen do not have......a companion. It is easier for them.... no marriage, no meeting family, no commitment, sex without strings. Yet I know that they also have broken homes, children out of wedlock, cheating, and sexual diseases abundant. Knowing that I am not in any loss, because Allah is Protecting me from such madness. My knowledge does little to comfort me,though I know the realities. The human psyche is such that it feels emotion in the present, rather than the future. My logical mind knows the truth, but my heart is ignorant.

                      I don't remember when I bought that chair, it was some time ago. It is so comfy, and has a motorized back massage built into the lumbar portion. I dust it off every now and again, and apply some leather shine at least once every few months. I do not sit in it. It isn't mine. It must be maintained into perfect condition however. The house and this chair MUST be ready at all times, it is a mere fraction of what lies in my heart. How many times have I thought to move it to the basement, so that I am not reminded of the shadow that sits in its seat? Why do I leave it in plain view? Such a simple solution. Eh, perhaps I yet will. But the day that I move it from my vision is the day that I have paid for my wooden box to be lowered into the ground. That time isn't far off, though I am young.

                      The men shall think this pathetic. The women shall think this desperate and akin to a loser's ramblings. These brothers and sisters of mine, who take every opportunity to cut one another down. They have given no thought to the person that lies behind the screen, only seeking to elevate their own sorrow by chiding and humiliating others. These muslim companions of mine. So why do I ramble at all, and open myself to their ridicule? Perhaps it is because the angels do not return conversation in any tangible form that we can perceive.

                      But ya Allah, the first man was 70 cubits tall, and lived in heaven, yet even with all that he cried for companionship. How can us mere diluted blood line descendants of only 6 feet tall possibly endure what he could not? Yet you have already informed me that you shall never burden me with anything greater than I can bear. Word given, trust given, received.

                      Tonight, the chair goes. It must.
                      :salams

                      In tahajjud, in those moments in the last third of the night, which we make out of pure frustration of our situation, sobbing, asking Allah to answer us—do we not think Allah will respond to us? How could Al-Mujeeb possibly not accept the dua of His resolute worshipper who is painfully striving to maintain his or her modesty and guard his or her chastity? :ahb: this is Allah! Without doubt Allah is going to answer us!
                      Leave your affairs to Allah What is meant to happen will happen Insha Allah and you will be rewarded for your patience....
                      “Mu'min” is more that just a title. It is to have Imaan established in the heart and testified to by the limbs.

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