I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

[Deeni Akh]

I heard a married bro say this to me that he'll rather marry a potato/brick wall than a model if she will raise his children with proper tarbiyah and islamic morals.

Because after a while, you'll get used to the 'beauty' of the model and what's inside will shine more than the outside appearance and that's where the 'not so model' wife will seem and even look so much more beautiful.

It got me thinking subhanAllah.

I'm inclined to think the same because I see many girls in my area who may be beautiful but they portray their beauty for the world to see and a lot of them lack hayaa'. Do we want these girls raising up our future children? that's where the pious 'not caked up' muslimahs come in and give us hope Alhamdulillah.

Brothers, yes we want someone who we're attracted to but there are factors which are greater beauty in marriage.

Sisters, never feel insecure because you're not like those ugly models, focus on safeguarding your deen and to be a rolemodel for your children insha'Allah.

[Faith reloaded]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

Piety is the priority, the main ting

Piety makes you soooooooooooo boom ting

[-qed-]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

Tbh I find this offensive.

[Nawar]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

This makes it sound a bit like there is only beautiful and immodest vs 'plain potatoe' and pious.

There are sisters who are beautiful and pious. Allah (swt) grant you that.

[slaveuk]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

I really think that we should avoid placing labels on people.

Being beautiful and being pious are not mutually exclusive.

You can be ugly and pious, ugly and evil, beautiful and pious, beautiful and evil.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Im not sure its helpful to use terms like plain potato etc although fair enough i get your point.

Its very important to be attracted to the person you intend to marry. Do not assume that just because you think she is pious that the piety will translate into attraction later on.

The married bro probably has an issue with his wife and has "grass is greener" syndrome.

A learned person once said that a man could be married to every woman in the world except one and yet he will convince himself that all his troubles would be over if only he could marry her.

[Stoic Believer]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

This makes it sound a bit like there is only beautiful and immodest vs 'plain potatoe' and pious.

There are sisters who are beautiful and pious. Allah (swt) grant you that.

Exactly. What's with this false dichotomy where beautiful people are always bad spouses or human beings in general?? And average looking people are the best for some reason.

[Gingerbeardman]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

I heard a married bro say this to me that he'll rather marry a potato/brick wall than a model if she will raise his children with proper tarbiyah and islamic morals.

Because after a while, you'll get used to the 'beauty' of the model and what's inside will shine more than the outside appearance and that's where the 'not so model' wife will seem and even look so much more beautiful.

It got me thinking subhanAllah.

I'm inclined to think the same because I see many girls in my area who may be beautiful but they portray their beauty for the world to see and a lot of them lack hayaa'. Do we want these girls raising up our future children? that's where the pious 'not caked up' muslimahs come in and give us hope Alhamdulillah.

Brothers, yes we want someone who we're attracted to but there are factors which are greater beauty in marriage.

Sisters, never feel insecure because you're not like those ugly models, focus on safeguarding your deen and to be a rolemodel for your children insha'Allah.

One brother gave me advice many years ago and given others the same ever since,

You need to find a woman who has deen and character you are satisfied with then decide if she is good looking enough. Not look for a woman who is beautiful then decide if her deen and character is good enough.

Using the later approach almost always ends up with brothers compromising on deen and character.

[Deeni Akh]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

Tbh I find this offensive.

This makes it sound a bit like there is only beautiful and immodest vs 'plain potatoe' and pious.

There are sisters who are beautiful and pious. Allah (swt) grant you that.

Sorry I didn't mean to put labels, just mentioning what the brother said.

And I thought 'potato' meant a face which isn't 'caked up' so beauty is still there but they don't show it?

[Deeni Akh]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

Piety is the priority, the main ting

Piety makes you soooooooooooo boom ting

Lol preach G

[-qed-]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

Sorry I didn't mean to put labels, just mentioning what the brother said.

And I thought 'potato' meant a face which isn't 'caked up' so beauty is still there but they don't show it?

Potato just makes it sound like a formless lump.

Just be careful of slandering good looking sisters alright.

[Deeni Akh]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

I really think that we should avoid placing labels on people.

Being beautiful and being pious are not mutually exclusive.

You can be ugly and pious, ugly and evil, beautiful and pious, beautiful and evil.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Im not sure its helpful to use terms like plain potato etc although fair enough i get your point.

Its very important to be attracted to the person you intend to marry. Do not assume that just because you think she is pious that the piety will translate into attraction later on.

The married bro probably has an issue with his wife and has "grass is greener" syndrome.

A learned person once said that a man could be married to every woman in the world except one and yet he will convince himself that all his troubles would be over if only he could marry her.

Yeah true I don't like using labels too, the brother mentioned them.

Very true what you said akh :jkk:

[Deeni Akh]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

Potato just makes it sound like a formless lump.

Just be careful of slandering good looking sisters alright.

Lol sorry

I don't like using labels myself tbh.

:jkk:

[Deeni Akh]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

One brother gave me advice many years ago and given others the same ever since,

You need to find a woman who has deen and character you are satisfied with then decide if she is good looking enough. Not look for a woman who is beautiful then decide if her deen and character is good enough.

Using the later approach almost always ends up with brothers compromising on deen and character.

SubhanAllah excellent point.

[EenieMeanie]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

Same goes for brothers.

[Deeni Akh]

Re: I'd rather marry a 'plain potato' if she's pious and a good mother

Damn I regret making the thread now