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  • Potential meetings gone wrong

    Salam Brothers and Sisters,

    So, this is for all the unmarried brothers and sister on Ummah Forum. What's the worst potential meeting you've had. Have you ever met a potential and when talking to them you've said the wrong thing or they've said the something that has put you off them?

    Everytime I've met a potential I would get so nervous, and when I'm nervous I talk so much. But whenever I got feedback lol (makes it sound like a job interview) I was always told how friendly, polite and outgoing I was and that I had a honest personality ( I think that means I'm not fake lol)

    Have you ever been in a situation where you've met them and even talking to them you've tried to make an excuse to get away from them as soon as possible?

    I once didn't like a potential and I spoke quietly to my mum and told her I didn't want to stay and talk anymore so I ran back upstairs to my room lol ( I was young, stupid and it was my first potential meeting lol, don't judge me!!)

    Or have you met a potential turned them down, couple months down the line you've realised you've made a mistake and tried to get them back only to find out they are married?

    Would you even consider going back to a potential you've already dismissed? Would you feel ashamed or think that it was ok to do this?

    Come and share your stories. Don't worry you don't have to get personal.

    Also all the brothers and sister who are already married, if you had any potential meetings that didn't go according to plan before you married, by all means come and share your stories too.

    :)
    Last edited by Lila; 10-07-16, 08:20 AM.

  • #2
    Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

    wa alaykum salam
    me and my sisters have had a few funny potential meeting

    - one where the potential was too busy looking at the other sisters
    - one where the potential mistook me (mother with 2 kids) for the bride and addressed me with the first few questions
    - one where my sister and him were talking about football. she laughted, he laughted and his mom (who was next door in the siting room) literally got up and pushed her son out of the house :rotfl:
    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



    please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

      Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
      wa alaykum salam
      me and my sisters have had a few funny potential meeting

      - one where the potential was too busy looking at the other sisters
      - one where the potential mistook me (mother with 2 kids) for the bride and addressed me with the first few questions
      - one where my sister and him were talking about football. she laughted, he laughted and his mom (who was next door in the siting room) literally got up and pushed her son out of the house :rotfl:
      Lol!! Oh no, being mistook for someone is horrible but funny!

      Whenever I've had my older cousin at the meeting the guy gets really excited when they think it's her they're meeting lol.(she's really pretty but she's married now)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

        Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
        wa alaykum salam
        me and my sisters have had a few funny potential meeting

        - one where the potential was too busy looking at the other sisters
        - one where the potential mistook me (mother with 2 kids) for the bride and addressed me with the first few questions
        - one where my sister and him were talking about football. she laughted, he laughted and his mom (who was next door in the siting room) literally got up and pushed her son out of the house :rotfl:
        Why did she push him out of the house?
        They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

          Lets see. Once i was talking to a girl and everything was going fine but soon after talking to her parents there was a change of heart from her because i only had a bachelors and she had masters even though we were making almost the same money. so she made me feel inferior and bad so that was that.

          another time i was in talk with a sister and really liked her but her parents were divorced and so was she and i was never married at that point, and she didnt get along with her dad and was living alone so i tried to get my mom to talk to her and see but that didnt go anywhere. and sometimes i do wonder if that went forward what wouldve happened because after her i married a nice girl from nice family who was never married and now we're getting divorced and im in the same situation where i rejected a girl because of her family and her marital status. and now i have the same marital status and now others will reject me

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

            Originally posted by Lila View Post
            Lol!! Oh no, being mistook for someone is horrible but funny!

            Whenever I've had my older cousin at the meeting the guy gets really excited when they think it's her they're meeting lol.(she's really pretty but she's married now)
            Come on now thats not nice

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

              Originally posted by ibzy View Post
              Why did she push him out of the house?
              probably thought my sister was too loud for her son

              oh and I remember one potential meeting where the old dad came and checked me out for his son. He liked me though
              Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
              __________________________________________________ _____________________________
              If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

              You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



              please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

                Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                probably thought my sister was too loud for her son

                oh and I remember one potential meeting where the old dad came and checked me out for his son. He liked me though
                Lol kk
                They say good things come to those who wait, so imma be at least an hour late

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

                  Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                  wa alaykum salam
                  me and my sisters have had a few funny potential meeting

                  - one where the potential was too busy looking at the other sisters
                  - one where the potential mistook me (mother with 2 kids) for the bride and addressed me with the first few questions
                  - one where my sister and him were talking about football. she laughted, he laughted and his mom (who was next door in the siting room) literally got up and pushed her son out of the house :rotfl:
                  something similar happened to me where i thought my wife's aunt was her sister and her sister was her aunt lol

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

                    Originally posted by Lila View Post
                    Lol!! Oh no, being mistook for someone is horrible but funny!

                    Whenever I've had my older cousin at the meeting the guy gets really excited when they think it's her they're meeting lol.(she's really pretty but she's married now)
                    new family policy,

                    keep all other single women out of the way. I have some really pretty cousins masha allah, and I swear if I was ever seeing a potential in the house there is no way I would even have them in the local area let alone in my house :rotfl:
                    Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                    __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                    If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                    You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                    please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

                      Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                      probably thought my sister was too loud for her son

                      oh and I remember one potential meeting where the old dad came and checked me out for his son. He liked me though
                      lol oyyyy this can be interpreted wrongly :rotfl:

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

                        Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                        Lets see. Once i was talking to a girl and everything was going fine but soon after talking to her parents there was a change of heart from her because i only had a bachelors and she had masters even though we were making almost the same money. so she made me feel inferior and bad so that was that.

                        another time i was in talk with a sister and really liked her but her parents were divorced and so was she and i was never married at that point, and she didnt get along with her dad and was living alone so i tried to get my mom to talk to her and see but that didnt go anywhere. and sometimes i do wonder if that went forward what wouldve happened because after her i married a nice girl from nice family who was never married and now we're getting divorced and im in the same situation where i rejected a girl because of her family and her marital status. and now i have the same marital status and now others will reject me
                        Education and degrees are still such a big thing especially amongst Asian families. It shouldn't be like that. But for some it's a must have.

                        Divorce also seems to be another taboo subject too. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that Brother.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

                          Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                          something similar happened to me where i thought my wife's aunt was her sister and her sister was her aunt lol
                          lool funny thing was I am a bit dopey and I answered those few questions until it finally clicked

                          thought he was trying to be polite/break the ice but when he started asking about my education level I thought huh :scratch:
                          Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                          __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                          If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                          You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                          please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

                            Originally posted by frh1 View Post
                            lol oyyyy this can be interpreted wrongly :rotfl:
                            yeah it could be but guess what, my mother was c hosen for my father by my fathers father.
                            he saw a pretty girl in Sylhet Town, he asked around after her. found out who her father was and a marriage was arranged with my dad.

                            tbh I think its easier being scrutinised by a man (but only coz they are not as picky and fussy as weomen)
                            Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
                            __________________________________________________ _____________________________
                            If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

                            You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



                            please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Potential meetings gone wrong

                              Originally posted by Lila View Post
                              Education and degrees are still such a big thing especially amongst Asian families. It shouldn't be like that. But for some it's a must have.

                              Divorce also seems to be another taboo subject too. I'm so sorry you've had to go through that Brother.
                              its ok to look for educated men so they can provide for their daughters but some are too picky. like they must be doctors or engineers. especially if women is educated they want the guy to be just as much even if he makes more money.

                              Comment

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