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Is not being experienced a problem

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  • aynina
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by quark View Post
    What is "real" love then?
    When you dont get aroused when talking or thinking about the specific person, but you feel warm and fuzzy,it lasts longer then a couple of months, also your heart and brain cooperate and its not just your heart that wants it, but your brain knows its a smart decision

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Originally posted by aynina View Post
    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    :wswrwb:

    I actually agree with you. A young man's first love(or rather infatuation) is always based on her looks. I've seen it time and time again, and its happened to me. It's only because of what happened to me in jahilliyyah that I know better now. A Muslim guy who's hardly ever interacted with women though is very prone to fall into this trap.
    Thank youuu, its one of the reasons why I'm tending toward marrying a revert or simply a man with some jahiliyya, also the men without any history tend to judge reverts willingly or unwillingly
    I've actually thought about this before, about whether this lack of experience or exposure to women leads to some Muslim men to make a decision based on the desires that they've been holding in for so long. Also when you've hardly got any exposure to women, you tend to put female beauty on a pedestal. Its really easy for a woman's beauty to cloud your judgment, or for you to think she's beautiful so she must be perfect.

    Im not at all suggesting that Muslim men should go out there and start getting to know women. Absolutely not. Dont really know what the solution is tbh.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by neelu View Post
    wswrwb,

    I agree with mirror. I don't think experience is the problem here. If anything, I think if an inexperienced guy is clueless about how to treat a woman, the chances are he'd be just as much of an idiot if he were zaani except this time he'd be sinful on top of being an idiot. I think part of the problem is with some practising guys, they are frustrated about not being in a position to marry so as a temporary stopgap they look at porn or resort to certain bad deeds but without having sex so they're still virgin when they marry but develop these unhealthy habits and unrealistic expectations of marriage. So even in that case, it's their misdeeds that are the problem, not their "lack of experience". Man I'd be so over the moon if someone found me a virgin husband who stayed away from that nonsense.
    lol

    that's what everyone wants

    :rotfl:

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by aynina View Post
    Ive known practicing men that have a horrible attitude regarding these matters
    Well, you met the wrong kinds then.

    Leave a comment:


  • Silent being
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by ms.muslimah View Post
    So you're saying a man who has been in a relationship before is more realistic/understanding? That makes sense.
    Basically, he has tested the waters so he's not naive and can't be deceived by beauty. Plus he knows how it works so he's not likely to leave after he gets tired with your beauty.
    Lol thats how I understood the post.

    Leave a comment:


  • neelu
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    wswrwb,

    I agree with mirror. I don't think experience is the problem here. If anything, I think if an inexperienced guy is clueless about how to treat a woman, the chances are he'd be just as much of an idiot if he were zaani except this time he'd be sinful on top of being an idiot. I think part of the problem is with some practising guys, they are frustrated about not being in a position to marry so as a temporary stopgap they look at porn or resort to certain bad deeds but without having sex so they're still virgin when they marry but develop these unhealthy habits and unrealistic expectations of marriage. So even in that case, it's their misdeeds that are the problem, not their "lack of experience". Man I'd be so over the moon if someone found me a virgin husband who stayed away from that nonsense.

    Leave a comment:


  • quark
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by aynina View Post
    So basically i have this feeling that muslim boys/men misinterpret their sexual desires as love. For example they want to satisfy their desire and because of that, they think they are in love with a certain girl but they are not.
    What is "real" love then?

    Leave a comment:


  • Silent being
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by aynina View Post
    Thank youuu, its one of the reasons why I'm tending toward marrying a revert or simply a man with some jahiliyya, also the men without any history tend to judge reverts willingly or unwillingly
    The scary part about a man with a past is how there is a possibility of being compared.

    Leave a comment:


  • ms.muslimah
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    So you're saying a man who has been in a relationship before is more realistic/understanding? That makes sense.

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    :wswrwb:

    I actually agree with you. A young man's first love(or rather infatuation) is always based on her looks. I've seen it time and time again, and its happened to me. It's only because of what happened to me in jahilliyyah that I know better now. A Muslim guy who's hardly ever interacted with women though is very prone to fall into this trap.
    Thank youuu, its one of the reasons why I'm tending toward marrying a revert or simply a man with some jahiliyya, also the men without any history tend to judge reverts willingly or unwillingly

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post


    Knowledge of Islam.
    Ive known practicing men that have a horrible attitude regarding these matters

    Leave a comment:


  • Linkdeutscher
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by .mirror. View Post


    Knowledge of Islam.
    Calm down man, no need for smacks.

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Is not being experienced a problem

    :wswrwb:

    I actually agree with you. A young man's first love(or rather infatuation) is always based on her looks. I've seen it time and time again, and its happened to me. It's only because of what happened to me in jahilliyyah that I know better now. A Muslim guy who's hardly ever interacted with women though is very prone to fall into this trap.

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem



    Knowledge of Islam.

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Silent being View Post
    I want to be the first to comment.

    I dunno really.... You make sense somehow but they're many 'inexperienced' brothers out there who make good husbands

    Let's wait for those informative and ridiculous comments.
    Hahaha i kinda see no other solution then experience but thats haram ofcourse, so idk how to solve this

    Leave a comment:

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