Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Is not being experienced a problem

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
    I edited my post

    most muslim men (as I have seen on this forum) would happily extend that to women who are divorced.

    Nabi pbuh was the prophet at the time. He could have married ANY woman he chose to but he didn't. he didn't have that inborn arrogance that a lot of you brothers have
    lets just say a lot of sister out there arent no khadifa or aisha ra

    Comment


    • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

      Has this turned into an east v west, divorcee v non-divorcee thread??? 10 pages...must have surely?!?

      Comment


      • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

        [MENTION=107195]peras1[/MENTION] bro past is the past. Revert sisters have left that lifestyle and started fresh in the deen, why do you have to still account her for her past jahilliyyah? That's not her anymore, it's someone else.

        Comment


        • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

          Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
          why r u being rude and making condescending comments. well all have our own opinion and thought process. and if u dont care to understand or agree u can state ur opinion in a better way or not say anything. i dont know one women who has married a convert. good luck on finding that man to convert and marry.


          you didn't read the part where I said - I HAVE ENOUGH INTEGRITY TO NOT DO THAT.


          its a muslim man or no man for me
          Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
          __________________________________________________ _____________________________
          If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

          You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



          please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

          Comment


          • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

            Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
            lets just say a lot of sister out there arent no khadifa or aisha ra
            from what I see, brothers aren't that great either
            Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said: "Donít ruin your happiness with worry, and donít ruin your mind with pessimism. Donít ruin your success with deception and donít ruin the optimism of others by destroying it. Donít ruin your day by looking back at yesterday.
            __________________________________________________ _____________________________
            If you think about your situation, you will find that Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) has given you things without asking, so have trust in Allaah (سبحانه وتعالى) that He doesnít prevent anything you want except there is goodness for you.

            You could be sleeping and the doors of the heavens are being opened with duaías being made on your behalf, SubhanAllaah: perhaps from someone poor whom you helped, or someone sad whom you brought joy, or someone passing by and you smiled at him, or someone in distress and you removed it.. so donít ever underestimate any good deeds."



            please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

            Comment


            • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

              Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
              I edited my post

              most muslim men (as I have seen on this forum) would happily extend that to women who are divorced.

              Nabi pbuh was the prophet at the time. He could have married ANY woman he chose to but he didn't. he didn't have that inborn arrogance that a lot of you brothers have
              No, it's not as bad. But usually men would want someone who they can relate to, someone young and energetic, who they can play with and grow together with. A divorcee doesnt have that stigma because she is pure like him unlike the zaani and i would consider one depending on why she divorced. In my culture we have this tradition where if women becomes a widow then one of his brothers will marry her. Likewise with a women dying. Very popular. Someone with children is a bit different though for me. Because they may not want to have more children and you dont want to look after another mans children who could resent you and have hatred for you since your not their father. Also the father will most likely be trying to have contact with the wife to get with the children often and men with gheerah will never let this happen.
              Last edited by peras1; 09-07-16, 12:21 PM.

              Comment


              • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                from what I see, brothers aren't that great either
                yes we all have issues so lets try to understand each other rather than call each others name. if he/she has had haram relationships and the other person doesnt like that then that is his/her right. islamically it doesnt if they've asked for forgiveness and moved on but personally it might matter to them. some people are more protective than others. and i said u thinking u can convert someone to islam and marrying them is highly unlikely but if thats what u want then good luck.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                  Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                  This is just how men feel, particularly men who are virgins themselves. Why do you call them pathetic? They can't help how they feel.

                  Honestly, virgin women probably have similar reservations.

                  And don't hold us to the standard of Rasulullah (saw). None of us will ever be close to him.
                  what disturbs me is how you trivialise that person to the fact that 'she has slept with someone else' and I am defensive about his because I know this is not about zina. You brothers would think the same about divorced/widowed people as well.

                  so in politer terms you are talking about women who you feel have been 'used' whether or not its in a halal reationship or not.

                  and i have had 3 years of this forum to know that the category would also extend to halal relationships.
                  It's just how it is. You can rant all you want, call them pathetic, but it'll never change. Honestly tired of women constantly shaming men for their natural preferences, constantly getting triggered over the virginity thing.

                  Dont even know why you care. Most of the men who feel this way you wouldn't even want to marry yourself.
                  Last edited by Stoic Believer; 09-07-16, 12:24 PM.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                    Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                    [MENTION=107195]peras1[/MENTION] bro past is the past. Revert sisters have left that lifestyle and started fresh in the deen, why do you have to still account her for her past jahilliyyah? That's not her anymore, it's someone else.
                    Its the way Allah has fashioned us men. And will you let your daughter marry an ex crack addict who was in and out of prison multiple times just because they said the shahada? Plenty of fish in the sea and when there are an abundance of born muslims who didn't commit zina then simple logic dictates who i would choose
                    Last edited by peras1; 09-07-16, 12:25 PM.

                    Comment


                    • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                      Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                      from what I read on this forum, NO I don't want to understand you strange men

                      you go and think your strange thoughts.
                      :rotfl: haha I found this bit hilarious.

                      Sorry you can continue the serious convo.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                        For some men its jealousy or ego, because other men have already had her.

                        For others its insecurity. "Will she compare me to her past boyfriends/husbands?" They feel they have to compete with them.

                        For others its just a complete turnoff. The thought of their wife having been with other men just makes them :vomit:
                        True exactly
                        يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                        O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                        Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                        Comment


                        • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                          Originally posted by peras1 View Post
                          Its the way Allah has fashioned us men.
                          Allah swt fashioned us to bring people's past into their present?

                          Comment


                          • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                            Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                            its not really about preferences / choices is it though

                            I don't care if a virgin wants to marry me or not. what my point is that often those who have no experience of life - e.g. brothers who have 'saved themselves' have very high expectations for themselves and think they are themost deserving whereas those wh o have the past understand that we are not all perfect, probably have a more realistic view of what relationships are

                            I was looking into one brother. Divorced himself but no kids
                            he had the cheek to say that I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL that he is looking into me. anyway I bid farewell to him. a few months down the line I was interested in another brother, younger then me but with a past. (repented and all that). not once did he make me feel that the children would be a burden to him. its the change in attitude, the maturity around what he will be getting int his marriage. I just find tha certain brothers put themselfves on a pedestal.. They think they are pretty special coz they are 'religous' so they thlnk they deserve someone worthy of that pedestal spot
                            It is totally about preferences/choices and these preferences/choices could also depend on individual's own circumstances. However, the example you gave is a matter of perspective. A person who've protected themselves are aware of the struggle to protect oneself and would naturally prefer someone who've also protected themselves. Whereas, those who have bad past are aware that they've messed up and probably no one would accept them, so they would naturally prefer someone on the same boat. Whatever they decided, let them be.

                            Now regarding relationship experience, it does not come with how many bad pasts an individual has, if it was so, it wouldn't be called "past" to begin with. Relationship Experiences in my opinion comes from Knowledge, Observations and Upbringing.

                            The issue here is that (or at least it seems that), you're picking up the bad apples and painting it on other people through generalization. If judging was allowed, I'd judge that divorced guy with no kids that you've met is full of himself and arrogant whereas the guy with a past has no one to accept him and hence looked into you as his only option due of his past but it's not allowed. If you're talking about people with pride/arrogance/ego or other negative traits whether virgin or not, whether pasts or no pasts, there are many and they should not be the basis to our discussion.

                            Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                            and we are talking about bad past - relationship, had a g/f - not necessary committed zina - but just had a g/f
                            That's devil's speech. May Allah protect us. If what you said has any value, then we should be looking for a sister with many 'pasts' as possible as they are the most "experienced" in regards to relationship. Whoever said this has the most warped mentality ever. This is why Knowledge is a priority. I'm aware that you used 'probably' but its wrong.
                            ďYou don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!Ē

                            Comment


                            • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                              Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                              Allah swt fashioned us to bring people's past into their present?
                              Are you saying you will feel no type of way if a revert womens ex partner approached you on the street with you and her and he laughed at you and said hes already experienced it?

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by I See You View Post

                                Read this, Narrated `Aisha: I said, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! Suppose you landed in a valley where there is a tree of which something has been eaten and then you found trees of which nothing has been eaten, of which tree would you let your camel graze?" He said, "(I will let my camel graze) of the one of which nothing has been eaten before." (The sub-narrator added: `Aisha meant that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) had not married a virgin besides herself .) (Bukhari)

                                .
                                Also this hadith is relevant.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X