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Is not being experienced a problem

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  • Comrox
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by quark View Post
    So how do you(or any other woman) claim that legalizing physical intimacy is not a legitimate reason to marry, when it literally is the function of the marriage contract?
    Again, I'm not talking about marriage contracts... Marriage is more than a contract, it's a decision that one should stick with for the rest of their life, Insha'Allah.

    Just because something is legalized by marriage doesn't mean anyone should jump to get married at the first opportunity, and then cause heartbreak for both parties later on in a messy divorce. And that's OP's point.

    Leave a comment:


  • peras1
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Akhūka View Post
    common akh, that's either uncalled for or inappropriate.
    Point fingers at yourself before pointing it at others.

    The fact she specifically singled out those people who committed zina as desirable and not someone like a divorced man really is the only inappropriate thing on this thread. We must have hate in our heart for zina which is one of the worst major sins one can commit and can put someone in the hellfire for Allah knows best. Will one ask the potential if they committed zina and then get a sigh of relief when the answer is positive because they now are able to "treat women more better".

    I should have never entered this thread.

    Leave a comment:


  • -qed-
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    I don't think it is a problem. Us women also have our fantasies and delusions but we know the reality too that we aren't all going to end up with 6 ft toned rich husbands with six packs

    Remember there is more Barakah in what Allah has ordained.

    Leave a comment:


  • obaid_m
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Sirius View Post
    i can think of other people.
    The ones that don't use Twitter, maybe?

    Leave a comment:


  • quark
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Comrox View Post
    Physical intimacy is legalized. .
    So how do you claim that legalizing physical intimacy is not a legitimate reason to marry, when it literally is the function of the marriage contract?

    Leave a comment:


  • Comrox
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by quark View Post
    Marriage is not permanent. Mortgages are more permanent than marriages really.



    Yeah, starting a family, that the other reason I mentioned.



    What does a marriage contract legalize that was not legal before? Tell me.
    Physical intimacy is legalized. Yes, I am aware of this. But I'm not talking about marriage contracts, I'm talking about married life. Marriage should be permanent. People don't take marriage seriously anymore.

    Leave a comment:


  • birdmanrots
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Comrox View Post
    Of course it is. :) But there are going to be a lot of times in a marriage when a couple isn't intimate. They're going to have to be emotional intimate. They're going to have to provide for and raise a family together. They're going to have to talk about things. Etc. Eventually, many couples don't have physically intimacy in their relationship anymore. These marriages need something else to fall back on in their marriage, so to speak.
    true true

    Leave a comment:


  • Abd al-Rahman
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by aabdall 79 View Post
    Brother, I referenced Isis for one specific reason only, which is to highlight, and it'll sound vulgar; sexual depravity/frustration amongst Muslim men in comparison to Kaffir men.

    What OP is saying, based upon her experience, is that Muslim men overtime build upon these desire and fantasis that they have (since they have no outlet) and synonymize love with an urgent need of fulfilling this desire and they take it with them to marriage.

    She's talking about reverts, who have more relationship understanding and know by experience not to glorify a woman's appearance as being better in relationships than Muslim men who've apparently had no sort of contact with women whatsoever and just live off fantasies and heightened expectations.
    :up:

    good post

    Leave a comment:


  • birdmanrots
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by aabdall 79 View Post
    The real questions then after that, is he prepared for the rest of what marriage entails? Will he be satisfied? Or disatisfied based upon his expectations?

    Can he effectively communicate and connect with his spouse?
    Those are the real markers.
    Depends on the indivdual, I would say most will be prepared for what else marriage entails, there may be minority that aren't

    Leave a comment:


  • quark
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Comrox View Post
    Marriage is much more permanent than pleasure.
    Marriage is not permanent. Mortgages are more permanent than marriages really.

    People should marry because they want to be with their compatible partner of choice, sincerely, and they want to start a life and a family together.
    Yeah, starting a family, that the other reason I mentioned.

    Marriage isn't all about physical intimacy. :/
    What does a marriage contract legalize that was not legal before? Tell me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Comrox
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by birdmanrots View Post
    No but its very very important
    Of course it is. :) But there are going to be a lot of times in a marriage when a couple isn't intimate. They're going to have to be emotional intimate. They're going to have to provide for and raise a family together. They're going to have to talk about things. Etc. Eventually, many couples don't have physically intimacy in their relationship anymore. These marriages need something else to fall back on in their marriage, so to speak.

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by SheSaid View Post
    Do you think the whole wali issue plays into this?
    Revert women are often mistreated because they don't have that family support and even if they do get a wali from the community that individual wouldn't be as picky as they would be for their own daughter. In that way, many of the creeps don't get weeded out the way they would if they had to come face to face with family members.
    Yea i agree sister

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
    what's wrong with what I said. Go right ahead and tell me
    That verse was reveiled after the prophet saws doubted if aisha r.a. slept with another man or not

    It doesn't count for every marriagr, how do you explain a virgin being cheated on? Would you say the word of Allah is false then

    Leave a comment:


  • Comrox
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by birdmanrots View Post
    Then what's the problem, after he sees his wife a few times then he will no longer glorify a woman's appearance as he will be used to it
    The point is that then the husband and wife will have to look past the physical aspect of their marriage and learn about each other, and put up with each other for the rest of their life. The point is choosing a spouse solely based on physical looks and desires is a bad idea.

    Leave a comment:


  • aabdall 79
    replied
    Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by birdmanrots View Post
    Then what's the problem, after he sees his wife a few times then he will no longer glorify a woman's appearance as he will be used to it
    The real questions then after that, is he prepared for the rest of what marriage entails? Will he be satisfied? Or disatisfied based upon his expectations?

    Can he effectively communicate and connect with his spouse?
    Those are the real markers.

    Leave a comment:

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