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  • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

    Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
    well their wrong for that attitude. nobody is better than others if they have left their past and moved on. idk why someone would be grossed out by reverts. if anything they might be hesitant because they dont know if you'll go back to ur old life. u can see this while talking to him and see how he talks to u and if he looks down upon u. im sure he'll know ur a revert and have been in relationship and if he still treats u nicely then thats a good sign.
    Yea that would be a good sign, im ready for him to emerge out of his hidingplace
    يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

    O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

    Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

    Comment


    • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

      Originally posted by shay5 View Post
      The reason you feel this way is because of your failed marriage......sister you married an immature, inexperienced (in life) 18 year old brat....after he got what he wanted.... the shock of marriage and reality hit him, he ran away and cut off contact like a coward. His mother then had to deal with the aftermath of his bad decisions .....you were a naive, innocent revert that got duped into marrying a boy and even got doubled duped into making his friend your wali.....your 18 year old ex was behaving like a 14 year old in his marriage...you would have been better suited to an older mature man rather than a boy who acted like he just hit puberty...

      You are WRONG to think that these experienced men will respect a woman just because of their pasts....as someone mentioned earlier, a man will treat you based on his upbringing, character etc....it has nothing to do with whether he has experience of being with the opposite gender...
      Originally posted by aynina View Post
      Yea you're right sis i have been dumb and i know those arent ur words but they are my own, but there are many men like him out there i believe sis, it makes me scared that there are very little sincere men out there
      Sister, revert women tend to be more vulnerable....don't call yourself dumb...see it as a learning curve and maybe inshallah you will be able to help other revert sisters with what happened to you...yes there are men like that but guess what? Our walis would never marry us to them....they would do a thorough investigation on them ....You needed a good wali....
      Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

      Comment


      • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

        Originally posted by I See You View Post
        [ATTACH=CONFIG]84705[/ATTACH]

        Lemme guess, Abu Specialist obviously can't find someone who would accept his past or baggage, so common sense would be, to find someone with similar past or baggage. This has nothing to do with being open minded and stuff, rather they've got no choice really. In fact, for a person with no past or baggage to accept someone with one, that's big time open minded.
        And why is that? I understand that majority of muslim men want to marry a virgin, but why? Like they litterally see the woman as an ice cream which has been licked by someone else and this is the best metaphor for that, dont say its wrong now.
        How childish is that? Wasnt aicha r.a. the only virgin wife of muhammad saws?
        يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

        O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

        Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

        Comment


        • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

          I wholeheartedly don't agree... a man who is knowledgeable and tries to emulate the Prophet :saw: will be loyal, respectful to women and lower their gaze... The Prophet :saw: told us to look for deen first when it comes to choosing a spouse. A practicing brother will go for deen.

          If you are worried about this issue then why not marry a divorced man.. Who is practising.. He will have some experience with women which will have been halal
          ▪️••• 〰 Say what you wish in abuse of me, for my silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response, but rather it does not befit the lion to answer the dogs. 〰 •••▪️

          ~ IMAM SHAFI'I RH

          Comment


          • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

            Originally posted by aynina View Post
            And why is that? I understand that majority of muslim men want to marry a virgin, but why? Like they litterally see the woman as an ice cream which has been licked by someone else and this is the best metaphor for that, dont say its wrong now.
            How childish is that? Wasnt aicha r.a. the only virgin wife of muhammad saws?
            in a way its no different than an educated man marrying another education women. or an arab person marrying another person. similar people marry each other. if i have never had a girlfriend where the girl has had several we will probably look at life differently. its all subjective. in quran there is a saying i think that says similar people should marry each other. thats why people with children usually marry other people with children so they can relate etc. so if a guy drinks and parties he should marry a similar sister and not ruin a pious sisters life.

            i think the problem u have with those men isnt only particular to this cause. there are brothers who look down on other brother who have shorter beard or arent as perfect as them. thats an ego problem they have. they think theyre better because xyz. they need to work on themselves and not forget theyre not perfect.

            Comment


            • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

              Originally posted by aynina View Post
              And why is that? I understand that majority of muslim men want to marry a virgin, but why? Like they litterally see the woman as an ice cream which has been licked by someone else and this is the best metaphor for that, dont say its wrong now.
              ?
              Damn Daniel....
              Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

              Comment


              • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                in a way its no different than an educated man marrying another education women. or an arab person marrying another person. similar people marry each other. if i have never had a girlfriend where the girl has had several we will probably look at life differently. its all subjective. in quran there is a saying i think that says similar people should marry each other. thats why people with children usually marry other people with children so they can relate etc. so if a guy drinks and parties he should marry a similar sister and not ruin a pious sisters life.

                i think the problem u have with those men isnt only particular to this cause. there are brothers who look down on other brother who have shorter beard or arent as perfect as them. thats an ego problem they have. they think theyre better because xyz. they need to work on themselves and not forget theyre not perfect.
                So you're saying reverts should be marrying reverts in the end..
                يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                Comment


                • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                  Lol this thread :rotfl:
                  [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
                  [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

                  [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

                  Comment


                  • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                    Originally posted by Hannahk92 View Post
                    I wholeheartedly don't agree... a man who is knowledgeable and tries to emulate the Prophet :saw: will be loyal, respectful to women and lower their gaze... The Prophet :saw: told us to look for deen first when it comes to choosing a spouse. A practicing brother will go for deen.

                    If you are worried about this issue then why not marry a divorced man.. Who is practising.. He will have some experience with women which will have been halal
                    +1
                    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
                    [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

                    [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

                    Comment


                    • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                      Originally posted by aynina View Post
                      So you're saying reverts should be marrying reverts in the end..
                      yes and no. it doesnt have to be one way but maybe a bit easier if u do marry a revert. because u guys can relate and will have similarities. for example if a person is from saudi arabia he or she will probably marry another saudi because of similarities. now they CAN marry an Indonesian but there will be issues like language, food, culture etc that they wont have otherwise. u can marry anyone who is a muslim whether he is a revert or not. at the end make sure hes muslim, and u guys have chemistry and he treats u nicely and u have similar goals in life. and i can see a non revert being that person. but as a born muslim, and someone looking to marry, the only reason im hesitant toward reverts is that they might leave the religion or their family will be completely opposite.

                      Comment


                      • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                        Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                        yes and no. it doesnt have to be one way but maybe a bit easier if u do marry a revert. because u guys can relate and will have similarities. for example if a person is from saudi arabia he or she will probably marry another saudi because of similarities. now they CAN marry an Indonesian but there will be issues like language, food, culture etc that they wont have otherwise. u can marry anyone who is a muslim whether he is a revert or not. at the end make sure hes muslim, and u guys have chemistry and he treats u nicely and u have similar goals in life. and i can see a non revert being that person. but as a born muslim, and someone looking to marry, the only reason im hesitant toward reverts is that they might leave the religion or their family will be completely opposite.
                        Thats a new one, i never heared anyone not wanting to marry a revert because theyre emaan is unstable
                        يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                        O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                        Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                        Comment


                        • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                          Originally posted by aynina View Post
                          Thats a new one, i never heared anyone not wanting to marry a revert because theyre emaan is unstable
                          actually i saw a thread by a revert brother who wouldnt marry another revert unless they had been following the religion for a certain number of years because theyre afraid they might leave or go back to their old way. so he wanted to marry a born muslim sister. yes as a born muslim i wasnt practicing my whole life but because of family and culture it brought me back where a revert might not have that. its just my opinion. im sure if i met a great revert sister who had all the things i was looking for i would marry her.

                          Comment


                          • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                            Originally posted by Muslima London View Post
                            tbh I get what she is saying

                            as a divorcee with children, who is 'looking' to reamarry I often find that those men who have had 'pasts' are a bit more accepting of someone with children, more open minded and not necessarily looking for perfection in someone they want.

                            always confused me, that difference in attaitude
                            They would because it'd be hypocritical for someone with a past to be demanding a virgin.

                            And not many virgin women would be willing to accept a man with a past of zina.

                            It works both ways.
                            Last edited by Khalid b. Walid; 09-07-16, 10:23 AM.

                            Comment


                            • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                              Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                              actually i saw a thread by a revert brother who wouldnt marry another revert unless they had been following the religion for a certain number of years because theyre afraid they might leave or go back to their old way. so he wanted to marry a born muslim sister. yes as a born muslim i wasnt practicing my whole life but because of family and culture it brought me back where a revert might not have that. its just my opinion. im sure if i met a great revert sister who had all the things i was looking for i would marry her.
                              I understand, but in the other hand born muslim families have a lot of cultural mix into islam, for eg i dont have 1 friend whose parents wake up for fajr, rather they pray it when they wake up and even mock their children for waking up at night
                              يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                              O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                              Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

                              Comment


                              • Re: Is not being experienced a problem

                                Originally posted by aynina View Post
                                I understand, but in the other hand born muslim families have a lot of cultural mix into islam, for eg i dont have 1 friend whose parents wake up for fajr, rather they pray it when they wake up and even mock their children for waking up at night
                                yes i was gonna add that born muslims have their own issues that reverts dont. nobody is perfect. and i notice that reverts who are practicing are some of the best and truest muslims ive seen. they actually know the deen and what theyre doing where some muslims in muslim countries just do it because of family or society and dont know the meaning. and its such a beautiful thing that u werent born in it and u chose it. in a way i chose it too because i asked myself questions and decided on it but for u guys to do it is on an another level and must be acknowledged.
                                Last edited by hassaan561; 09-07-16, 10:32 AM.

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