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You are not just marrying him, but into his family

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  • You are not just marrying him, but into his family

    Does it apply to all eastern/middle eastern cultures?

    And is it always the case that it's also a "marriage" between the two families of the two spouses?

  • #2
    You are not just marrying him, but into his family

    I think if you marry the eldest then you might say that you're marrying into his family coz typically he's the one who stays with the parents and takes over the house
    [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
    [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

    [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

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    • #3
      Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

      Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
      Does it apply to all eastern/middle eastern cultures?

      And is it always the case that it's also a "marriage" between the two families of the two spouses?
      Sort of. Like the person said if the guy is oldest then maybe because parents might stay with him. But if parents get sick or need help then they will stay with son, regardless if hes younger. And yes families are important because their relationship still goes after the wedding. so for example the mothers stay in touch after wedding and call each other or meet up on big occasions. obviously wont spend that much time together but its not like u get married and ur guys families never talk to each other again.

      is that something that scares? y do u ask?

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      • #4
        Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

        I think this idea is more intangible. After all, your in-laws sort of becomes your own father and mother as well. I dont think living with or away from them makes any difference to this idea. Its just that you have to maintain your bonds well with them.

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        • #5
          Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

          Yes that's true... I have to treat my inlaws just as good as my own parents. I serve his mum and make sure she's comfortable.. Sometimes I feel pressured to because he gets upset if I lack or miss something and I don't want to upset him.

          So yeah it's true
          I love you, cherish you and worship you,
          Guide me on your path to your janna,
          Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


          :love:Allah:love:

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          • #6
            Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

            True, you're marrying you're hmati just as much as him, so be carefull please, if i knew my hmati before my ex husband i would have thought twice
            يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

            O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

            Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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            • #7
              Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

              Originally posted by aynina View Post
              True, you're marrying you're hmati just as much as him, so be carefull please, if i knew my hmati before my ex husband i would have thought twice
              It's the coming together of two families (usually) but to what extent depends on how much you live in each others pockets. If you're in the same house then it's going to be greater than if you are in different countries.

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              • #8
                Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

                Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                It's the coming together of two families (usually) but to what extent depends on how much you live in each others pockets. If you're in the same house then it's going to be greater than if you are in different countries.
                Yea but if shes annoying i doubt the husband will want to move to another country cus the mum and wife dont get along
                يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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                • #9
                  Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

                  Originally posted by aynina View Post
                  Yea but if shes annoying i doubt the husband will want to move to another country cus the mum and wife dont get along
                  Don't have to move to another country, just need a place of your own away from issues.

                  Somethings not right...the wife at some point may become a mother and may turn into the MIL one day that she does not like herself. Women, they is well funny.

                  (The guy may be living in the same country as the girl and they get married and continue to live in that country. The parents of guy/girl may be living in a different country).

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                  • #10
                    Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

                    I thought after you get married you move out to your own house/apartment...

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                    • #11
                      Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

                      Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                      Don't have to move to another country, just need a place of your own away from issues.

                      Somethings not right...the wife at some point may become a mother and may turn into the MIL one day that she does not like herself. Women, they is well funny.

                      (The guy may be living in the same country as the girl and they get married and continue to live in that country. The parents of guy/girl may be living in a different country).
                      Yea that seems nice if they'd live elsewhere
                      يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

                      O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

                      Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

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                      • #12
                        Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

                        Originally posted by hassaan561 View Post
                        Sort of. Like the person said if the guy is oldest then maybe because parents might stay with him. But if parents get sick or need help then they will stay with son, regardless if hes younger. And yes families are important because their relationship still goes after the wedding. so for example the mothers stay in touch after wedding and call each other or meet up on big occasions. obviously wont spend that much time together but its not like u get married and ur guys families never talk to each other again.

                        is that something that scares? y do u ask?
                        its more the case of why does the husbands family take more priority over the wifes family?


                        would he move in with her and her parents indefinitely? doubt it

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                        • #13
                          Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

                          Originally posted by mohmin View Post
                          its more the case of why does the husbands family take more priority over the wifes family?


                          would he move in with her and her parents indefinitely? doubt it
                          In Falasteen usually the husbands family is more of a priority than her side of the family BUT take my case my husbands parents are both dead so if anything happened to my parents to where I need to move in with them and take care of them than my husband would also move in.
                          Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness

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                          • #14
                            Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

                            No. She isn't into marrying into anything. In sha Allah we all live independently.
                            8 powerful habits to succeed


                            1. Wake up early!
                            2. Do it as soon as possible, you could die tonight so make the best of today
                            3. Remember your life is unique, don't compare yourself to others. Use that jealousy as an energy to make your life a success"
                            4. Have healthy habits. Set a time each day to exercise. Try with the mindset you're only going to do some jumping jacks for 5 seconds and the next thing you know, you're doing a workout!
                            5. Read, read, read. Ponder over the Qur'an, learn more. Put the idiot box (TV) away
                            6. Take note. Desires make slaves out of kings and patience makes kings out of slaves.
                            7. Results aren't just worldly. Results are also about perseverance, retaining dignity, being honest, being honourable, doing good unto others.
                            8. Always encourage others especially our brothers and sisters, let them know making mistakes is okay, we all make mistakes, do not ever undermine them and make them feel incompetent. This is also true for the dunya, so what if they don't get the maths sum right the first time, that is what LEARNING is.

                            NEW UPDATE

                            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJubtizAEfU


                            Watch this when you're distressed!

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                            • #15
                              Re: You are not just marrying him, but into his family

                              Originally posted by mohmin View Post
                              its more the case of why does the husbands family take more priority over the wifes family?


                              would he move in with her and her parents indefinitely? doubt it
                              thats like asking why does the wife come stay with husband family and why doesnt the husband go stay with the wifes family. thats just how it is. its part of culture or traditions. he wont move in with her because it demeaning to a guy. it says the guy is so bad that he cant even take care of her. it looks bad in society. the wife loses respect for her husband.but say the wife doesnt have any siblings and her parents need help, im more than ok to have them live with us. people need to stop being selfish and start taking care of each other when help is needed. traditionally guys parents stay if they need help definitely, but if girl parents need help then that is ok too in my opinion. do u wanna kick the old people to the curb and have them be homeless, whether they're from girls side or guys?

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