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Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

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  • #61
    Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

    Allah (swt) is the one that controls people's hearts and He knows best how they will behave when tested, so I can only say what I think now without being able to state anything truly definite because it is something like the unseen as far as I'm concerned right now.

    However I will say that I would absolutely hate the idea of doing something like that to the extent that if a future self of mine did do that, I would like to travel in time to shoot him in the head for it.
    والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

    "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

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    • #62
      Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

      Of course I would stay!

      Is that even a question :cold:

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      • #63
        Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

        [MENTION=136911]Mutant[/MENTION] c'mon bro I thought you were better than this :dispirited:

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        • #64
          Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

          Yes I would, Allah's blessings come in many forms. Allah tests people in different ways. We as Muslims need to make constant Dua to Allah and ask that whatever he gives us or whatever decisions he makes for us that we're happy with it all.
          Last edited by shezad; 19-06-16, 04:19 PM.
          He who loses money, loses much.

          He who loses a friend, loses more.

          He who loses faith, loses ALL.

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          • #65
            Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

            If I'm in love with her, yes.

            But it'll cause problems with intimacy.

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            • #66
              Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

              Oddly enough this is a question I've asked myself many times when it has come to rishtas. I think to myself is he someone I'd want to stay with even if something terrible like this caused him to lose his looks and that sort of thing? It depends on the guy. Some have so much good in them that I think I'd accept a lot more compromises for them including not being deterred over hardships like this. If I come across a guy who seems okay but not so great in certain areas, then I'd feel like I couldn't commit to him and I'd probably turn him down.

              Also I think if a guy is open and accepting of my condition then the least I can do is be cool about his difficulties. The one thing I think I couldn't accept is if our relationship is good, then this calamity happens and he starts pushing me away, becoming withdrawn and shutting me out- I'd hate that. I need some level of connection and communication and worry that a relationship would not survive without it. If he shut me out emotionally for long enough I'd start off being patient and giving him time but after that I'd consider leaving. If on the other hand he doesn't let that happen then that's cool.
              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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              • #67
                Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

                The brothers who are saying yes, is that because you'd get a second wife lol?
                And strive because the sweetness of life lies in the struggle - Imam al-Shafi'i

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                • #68
                  Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

                  Originally posted by Deeni Akh View Post
                  Of course I would stay!

                  Is that even a question :cold:
                  +1000
                  Bandon say dil naa lagao sirf Allah say lagao.

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                  • #69
                    Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

                    Originally posted by Strive View Post
                    The brothers who are saying yes, is that because you'd get a second wife lol?
                    no
                    Bandon say dil naa lagao sirf Allah say lagao.

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                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Strive View Post
                      The brothers who are saying yes, is that because you'd get a second wife lol?
                      I thought about it, but I don't think I would. Her being deformed would not make having a second wife any easier.

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                      • #71
                        Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

                        Must you use example of kuffar who are in haram relationship?
                        Winning an argument doesn't mean you're on truth, losing an argument doesn't mean you're on falsehood.

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                        • #72
                          Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

                          I read a book called Face by Benjamin Zephaniah in my teens about a young, good-looking man who lost everything - his model gf, his friends, future career - after sustaining significant burn injuries to his face. I remember being really sad for the character who gradually saw the people in his life, that he thought were his true friends, abandon him.

                          That book really had an impact on me. I like to think I wouldn't leave my husband over something like a deformity. I think other illnesses - the ones affecting the intellect or mobility - would be harder for me to adjust to.
                          And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
                          http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

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                          • #73
                            Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

                            Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                            True... Like your accent f_r, it's so you.
                            And yours is you

                            Originally posted by ibzy View Post
                            Ramadans changed you
                            Has it? In a good or bad way? Or were your expectations of how I "should" behave made from the clouds?

                            At least it stopped the argument

                            لا تفكر كثيرا
                            بل استغفر كثيرا

                            -------------------------------------------------------
                            The children need your prayers more than anyone else
                            -------------------------------------------------------
                            www.inheritorsofquran.wordpress.com

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                            • #74
                              Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

                              peeps would actually leave?

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                              • #75
                                Re: Would you stay with your spouse if they became deformed?

                                Originally posted by Mutant View Post
                                Read your posts above. FYI I am the same in every month. I don't need to put on an act during ramadan. You should drop the act yourself.
                                Prove it or walk away silently... You made an assumption now act like a grown up and provide your evidence.. Or stay quiet.. Cause I closed you little boy.
                                I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                                Guide me on your path to your janna,
                                Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                                :love:Allah:love:

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