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  • slaveuk
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Miss Foxxy View Post
    I cannot begin to imagine that a mother would do anything to spite her kids, she looked after him all this while and Islam gives mothers very high importance. [/COLOR][/B][/SIZE]
    I am NOT saying that it is the case here. But it does happen. I have heard of cases where mothers stop their sons getting married out of pure jealousy, and how they sometimes insist on impossible standards (e.g. she must be both a doctor and perfect homemaker).

    Sometimes the spite is not AGAINST THE CHILD but against the ex-spouse. Actually this kind of approach is probably even more common. Even years after divorce, the anger and hate remains and preventing the former spouse from any form of happiness becomes an aim in itself.

    Its a very sad state of affairs when a child has to tow the line with a parent who is emotionally blackmailing them. It reminds me of the story of Musab ibn Umayr

    .......The Prophet, peace be upon him, saw him with the eyes of wisdom, thankful and loving, and his lips smiled gracefully as he said, "I saw Mus'ab here, and there was no youth in Makkah more petted by his parents than he. Then he abandoned all that for the love of Allah and His Prophet!"

    His mother had withheld from him all the luxury he had been overwhelmed by, when she could not return him to her religion. Her last connection with him was when she tried to imprison him for a second time after his return from Abyssinia, and he swore that if she did that, he would kill all those who came to her aid to lock him up. She knew the truth of his determination when he was intent and decided to do something, and so she bade him goodbye weeping. When she said to him, "Go away, I am no longer your mother," Mus'ab went close to her and said, "O Mother, I am advising you and my heart is with you, please bear witness that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His servant and messenger." She replied to him, angrily raging, "By the stars, I will never enter your religion, to degrade my status and weaken my senses!"

    Leave a comment:


  • ابن مرة
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
    yeah, I like having dinner for breakfast.......I guess it's not for everyone.....lol you're making me hungry :)

    Lol

    Leave a comment:


  • Miss Foxxy
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Or it could simply boil down to the fact she has it in for his side of the family and is being spiteful, given how she's threatening to disown her own child, even though it is completely haraam to do such a thing..

    I think he should consult his Imam and proceed from there on what to do....
    I cannot begin to imagine that a mother would do anything to spite her kids, she looked after him all this while and Islam gives mothers very high importance.

    Without the love and support of your parents, in this case; your mother - your relationship with your partner will take a severe strain. You can't take the strain of fighting your mother for your cousin all the time.

    So in all, you need your parents' approval to have the best shot at a happy future. If that's not possible, you'll need to seriously re-evaluate your relationship and see if it's worth severing the relationship with your mother and leaving her... It needs a special relationship to make it worth such a huge sacrifice.

    Leave a comment:


  • Striving for Janna
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by slaveuk View Post
    What is it with some people and emotional blackmail.

    Yes you should be good and kind to your mum but if you agree to this then next time you do something she doesn't like she may blackmail you again.

    What's your relationship like with your dad?
    my dad and I are distant but get along fine most of the time (my parents are divorced), and he is more logical rather than emotional than my mother.....I imagine he wouldn't dp such a thing.....

    Leave a comment:


  • slaveuk
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    Don't marry her then.
    Nice.

    What if the mum says marry this person or else I will disown you?

    Where does it stop?

    Leave a comment:


  • slaveuk
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
    Even though my mother and father have been divorced for over 7 years, and the cousin I plan on marrying is on my father's side, and although severing ties of kinship is a major sin, she has threatened to disown me if I marry my cousin, and also said, "not even people in the woods are as backwards as you," and "you're stuck in the 1700s" should I give up on marrying my cousin to maintain ties with my mother?
    What is it with some people and emotional blackmail.

    Yes you should be good and kind to your mum but if you agree to this then next time you do something she doesn't like she may blackmail you again.

    What's your relationship like with your dad?

    Leave a comment:


  • Striving for Janna
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by ابن مرة View Post
    Ma sha Allah, I can't eat that stuff at suhoor time. I'm having cereal now.
    yeah, I like having dinner for breakfast.......I guess it's not for everyone.....lol you're making me hungry :)

    Leave a comment:


  • Mikhaeel
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Miss Foxxy View Post
    Your mother knows what your dad's side of the family is like, she has her reasons as to why she does not want you to marry your cousin.
    Focus on keeping your mother happy - as they say there are plenty of fish in the water! Without a doubt, you should give up on marrying my cousin to maintain ties with your mother....
    Or it could simply boil down to the fact she has it in for his side of the family and is being spiteful, given how she's threatening to disown her own child, even though it is completely haraam to do such a thing..

    I think he should consult his Imam and proceed from there on what to do....

    Leave a comment:


  • ابن مرة
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
    gyro sandwiches, with gyros, lettuce, onions, and ketchup in the middle of pite bread, as well as gyros by themselves, and water....
    Ma sha Allah, I can't eat that stuff at suhoor time. I'm having cereal now.

    Leave a comment:


  • Miss Foxxy
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
    Even though my mother and father have been divorced for over 7 years, and the cousin I plan on marrying is on my father's side, and although severing ties of kinship is a major sin, she has threatened to disown me if I marry my cousin, and also said, "not even people in the woods are as backwards as you," and "you're stuck in the 1700s" should I give up on marrying my cousin to maintain ties with my mother?
    Your mother knows what your dad's side of the family is like, she has her reasons as to why she does not want you to marry your cousin.
    Focus on keeping your mother happy - as they say there are plenty of fish in the water! Without a doubt, you should give up on marrying my cousin to maintain ties with your mother....

    Leave a comment:


  • Striving for Janna
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by ابن مرة View Post
    Nice, what'd you eat have for suhoor?
    gyro sandwiches, with gyros, lettuce, onions, and ketchup in the middle of pite bread, as well as gyros by themselves, and water....

    Leave a comment:


  • ابن مرة
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Striving for Janna View Post
    I sleep from early morning to late afternoon.....I stay up all night in order to be up and ready for suhoor, tahajjud, and fajr

    Nice, what'd you eat have for suhoor?

    Leave a comment:


  • Striving for Janna
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by ابن مرة View Post
    When's the last time you got some sleep bro?
    I sleep from early morning to late afternoon.....I stay up all night in order to be up and ready for suhoor, tahajjud, and fajr

    Leave a comment:


  • ابن مرة
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    When's the last time you got some sleep bro?

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Don't marry her then.

    Leave a comment:

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