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I'm counting down the days until I meet my beloved....

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  • Pink123
    replied
    Re: I'm desperate....

    What did I just read....? :scratch:

    Brother, you have to stop obsessing about marriage. Focus on other things in life.

    Leave a comment:


  • *sheba*
    replied
    Re: I'm desperate....

    You are all over the place. Take a break.

    Leave a comment:


  • ibzy
    replied
    Re: I'm desperate....

    Dear Lord

    Leave a comment:


  • aynina
    replied
    Re: I'm desperate....

    Once you start hoping it hurts more, so keep your options open and your guard up

    Leave a comment:


  • Striving for Janna
    replied
    I'm desperate....

    I'm desperate for a wife lol. I wrote down that list of memories of my childhood crush, friend, and playmate Nurgul like I told you guys.......I stay up all night every night so I can pray 10 rakats of tahajjud prayer, and I pray it in the last third of the time between isha and fajr, and at the end I ask Allah to let me marry her (before it was my cousin, but my mom said she'd disown me if I married her).......although tonight i did 20 rakats....and I make dua while bowing (sajda?), and I think constantly about what to do in college and work to maximize my chances of getting married and at the same time doing what I love (ie, working in a field that doesn't bore me).....I also have looked from time to time at Serra and Nurgul's Instagram photos, wrote poetry about them, and cuddle with my pillow, kiss it, and talk to it, pretending it's one of them.....My question to you is, is this too strange? should I be concerned? if so, how do I stop obsessing?

    Leave a comment:


  • Striving for Janna
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by quark View Post
    What does your father think?
    he's okay with me marrying my cousin, but he is against me contacting them because in the past I would call them every day multiple times, and they complained that I was bothering them.....also, possibly because I told my cousin I was in love with her....but my parents are divorced, and my father and I are distant, so....

    Leave a comment:


  • quark
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    What does your father think?

    Leave a comment:


  • Striving for Janna
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by muslimboy764 View Post
    is this cousin sera?
    yes

    Leave a comment:


  • muslimboy764
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    is this cousin sera?

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by zantz View Post
    [MENTION=4059]ibn[/MENTION]_taleb said something very profound the other day, when talking about a pious woman - "marry her even if she looks like a mole rat"
    "Marry her even if she looks like a mole rat."

    ~Ibn Taleb, 2016
    Last edited by Stoic Believer; 29-06-16, 05:07 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • zantz
    replied
    My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    [MENTION=4059]ibn[/MENTION]_taleb said something very profound the other day, when talking about a pious woman - "marry her even if she looks like a mole rat"

    Leave a comment:


  • slaveuk
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
    That's a good point.
    I can comment with regards to south asian communities where it is quite a common scenario that a grandparent will practically matchmake her grandchildren together and make it a dying wish. This is used as emotional blackmail by parents, even if that grandparent has long since died. I have heard that sometimes this matchmaking occurs between one cousin in the west and the other back home, with emotional blackmail being used to extremes like "I will kill myself if you don't marry me" etc.

    All of the stories of forced marriage... often the force is not physical it is simply emotional in the form of blackmail. Obedient sons and daughters often have no choice but to comply.

    This cultural problem will only get better if people start standing up for themselves. It is hard but can be done. Reasonable relatives and extended family members should be brought in to talk sense into the oppressive parent.

    Leave a comment:


  • zantz
    replied
    My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    marry someone else.

    Leave a comment:


  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    Originally posted by slaveuk View Post
    Nice.

    What if the mum says marry this person or else I will disown you?

    Where does it stop?
    That's a good point.

    Leave a comment:


  • Nomadicforumer
    replied
    Re: My mother says she'll disown me if I marry my cousin....

    It depends on how suitable your cousin is. If she's really the whole package, don't let her go easily. Your mum is at the end of the day a mum and she will give you her blessings. Perhaps your union in marriage can repair the broken kinship. My advice is to persevere. May Allah give you the strength to do the right thing.


    PS: How did this topic got to suhour lool. Hang on guys we only have few days left.
    Last edited by Nomadicforumer; 29-06-16, 11:49 AM.

    Leave a comment:

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