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My wife dont respect my parents

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  • shay5
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    Originally posted by peras1 View Post
    I'm having troubles trying to understand who is the wife and who is the husband in this marriage.
    I thought the same, this is one of those stories where the person does not fully give the whole story...so for that reason I cannot help you brother.....

    I can give you a few facts, a woman will not hate her inlaws for no reason, a woman who has bad inlaws will still treat them with respect for her husband's sake...the problem lies with you and your wife...she hates you or/and has no respect for you....

    There is no respect in this marriage and definitely no Islamic boundaries...

    Leave a comment:


  • Sabros
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    Originally posted by Fragile View Post
    You obeyed your wife from day 1 gave her rights she does not need, men are leaders not followers, when you give a woman the chance to lead then. You're in a lot of trouble cause she has gained control and pride over you mate... Bad choice! And kinda too late to change that.

    You allow her to disrespect your parents who raised you into the man you are today.. "Failed" so like I said before.. Many men these days are showing weakness and are far too soft.. If you want respect and to be treated like a man then act like one. And to top it all up with some awesome icing.... She hits you and you hit back.... What is this? Primary school.
    Don't take what I say into offence I'm merly telling you what others won't.in the nicest possible way.
    I broadly agree.
    It's the so called honeymoon period.
    Many men go all calf eyed over their wives for the first year. Give her everything she wants. Don't set any boundaries. Put her on a pedestal and neglect their other responsibilities.
    Not surprised that women don't really respect that.

    Then its a huge shock for them women when after a year or two the man changes and stops pampering her or being her docile servant.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sabros
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    How can she slap????!!!


    In all seriousness OP - who hit harder? You or her? Significant man points riding on this

    Leave a comment:


  • Fragile
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    You obeyed your wife from day 1 gave her rights she does not need, men are leaders not followers, when you give a woman the chance to lead then. You're in a lot of trouble cause she has gained control and pride over you mate... Bad choice! And kinda too late to change that.

    You allow her to disrespect your parents who raised you into the man you are today.. "Failed" so like I said before.. Many men these days are showing weakness and are far too soft.. If you want respect and to be treated like a man then act like one. And to top it all up with some awesome icing.... She hits you and you hit back.... What is this? Primary school.
    Don't take what I say into offence I'm merly telling you what others won't.in the nicest possible way.
    Last edited by Fragile; 30-05-16, 05:24 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • shann
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    I lold, like bro you said you hit her then she hit you so she is violent? Ugh so fob I can't even.

    Leave a comment:


  • noobz
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    sounds like a movie sketch , u slap her and she slapped u back , and then u started crying foul.

    Leave a comment:


  • noobz
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    cause online support will help solve ur marriage woes ....



    incredible how people think , practical help is what you need rather than online help , practical intervention to be precise.

    Leave a comment:


  • Amaana
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    Originally posted by Ikki View Post
    I think you have more immediate problems to deal with than your wife not visiting your parents.

    I would have a serious problem with some of the things you mention:
    1 Dancing because your parents told you to, this shows that you obey your parents even when they are wrong.
    2. Spending all weekend every weekend at your parents house. You should make weekend plans with your wife sometimes also. You spend all your recreation time with you parents, when do you and your wife very go out and have fun.
    3. Hitting each other. This has to stop.


    You say she is making you choose your wife or your parents. Well I don't see that she is. She 's not trying to stop you from seeing them. Just wants you to be home.

    As for her relationship with you parents, I can't tell what that might be, you don't tell us why your wife doensn't like your parents.

    You need to base your relationship with your wife on the basis of an islamic household, and not how well she gets along with your family. (Yes they are two different things).

    This^


    I know your situation is not a laughing matter, but I'm still stuck on the part where you say you sleep at your parents house every weekend:rotfl: dude...



    Anyways I'm assuming you're missing a lot out from this story (obviously her side). A woman likes a strong assertive man (not abusive), I would not consider you assertive or passive with your wife (except for the first year, which was less than smart on your part). However, you are clearly passive towards your parents. You can be a dutiful son without sleeping over there every weekend.

    You need to start practicing islam properly and establish an islamic home, you need to be assertive with your wife (not abusive) However, you will only accomplish this if you show her kindness, compassion and consideration (and spend the weekends with her, or at least sleep in the same house as her lol). Also visit her family too, that will bring great love between you in shaa Allah!


    You can twist the story on UF just to get sympathy and what not, however, this will NOT improve your situation. Be real with yourself, and truly acknowledge the situation so you can start the process of repairing things together.


    Every situation needs a hero, so be that hero for the sake of your marriage and family. I'm sure your parents will be proud of you once you have established an a calm islamic home/family life and also being there for them too (once again, nooooo need to sleep over lol)

    May Allah put endless baaraka in your marriage, and increase the love between your wife n your family, ameeeen!

    Leave a comment:


  • peras1
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    I'm having troubles trying to understand who is the wife and who is the husband in this marriage.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ikki
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    Originally posted by Fazlo View Post
    Assalamaliaikom,

    One night we were in a wedding and it has been long time. They asked me to dance but my wife told me not too,( not because of anything religions)but i did anyways. She began to get angry and when my brother drove her home. She slammed the door and and went to our house.

    After that night everything changed. I went often to my parents. Once a week and i spend the weekend over my parents. Because i missed them and they missed me.

    In three years of marriage she has never invited over my parents. One day when we fought she went over and was rude to my parents. Another time in a ceremony she saw my Mother but did not Even Said Salam or greated her.

    After many fight i became voilent. when i hit she hit me back. One night she called Police on me. But did not made a case. I asked her why she called the Police she Said its because she wanted me to stop

    I was twice away from her for two months because she was rude to my mother. Alle when my moms told her that she is like a daughter to her. She Said No iam not like your daughter

    Now we have came in a situation where we are talking about divorce. She is saying that i Can go to my parents anytime i want but i have to be home at night. But i say why dont you Come with me with my parents. IT feels like i have to chose between my wife and parents. I want to spend time with my family and overnight sometimes. But she dont want that

    Please help people
    I think you have more immediate problems to deal with than your wife not visiting your parents.

    I would have a serious problem with some of the things you mention:
    1 Dancing because your parents told you to, this shows that you obey your parents even when they are wrong.
    2. Spending all weekend every weekend at your parents house. You should make weekend plans with your wife sometimes also. You spend all your recreation time with you parents, when do you and your wife very go out and have fun.
    3. Hitting each other. This has to stop.


    You say she is making you choose your wife or your parents. Well I don't see that she is. She 's not trying to stop you from seeing them. Just wants you to be home.

    As for her relationship with you parents, I can't tell what that might be, you don't tell us why your wife doensn't like your parents.

    You need to base your relationship with your wife on the basis of an islamic household, and not how well she gets along with your family. (Yes they are two different things).

    Leave a comment:


  • Sabros
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    The first year of your marriage was only good because you obeyed her.
    You didn't visit your parents as much, you did everything she said.

    Why?
    Because you were infatuated with her and gave her control over you.

    Now that has changed. Honeymoon period is over and you have probably realised that you have been neglectful in your duties as a son. and she doesn't like that.
    Yes you should be fair and give your wife adequate time but how can she tell you to not visit your parents? How has she stopped you from inviting your parents to your own house? Why would she not even make salam to your mother?

    Im sure she has her side to the story.
    I am shocked that she would be so rude to your parents and disrespect you so much.
    But i am even more shocked that you would put up with all this for so many years.

    What are her parents saying? What is her side of the families reaction to all this?
    You need some intermediaries to sort all this out

    Leave a comment:


  • Hannahk92
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    Why did you hit your wife? That isn't going to make her respect your parents if anything she will lose respect for you also. Judging from what you've posted there is a lack of respect anyway.. This will only escalate the situation.

    You need to sit down with your wife and have an adult conversation with her. Find out why she doesn't like you going to your parents or why she doesn't want to go.

    I'm pretty shocked that she didn't give your mother salams.

    You mentioned the first year of your marriage was good. What's changed?

    The both of you need to communicate more.
    Last edited by Hannahk92; 30-05-16, 11:07 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Atwork.
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    Maybe talk with her about the situation instead of trying to force her? Clearly you guys like basic communication.

    Leave a comment:


  • Oum Soumayyah
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    Originally posted by Akhūka View Post
    What role does Islam play in your life and your wifes life? Do you both pray every obligatory prayer? Do you both understand the rights and duties of the parents, husband and wife?
    Good question...


    Fazlo, may Allah rectify your situation for the better.

    Leave a comment:


  • Akhūka
    replied
    Re: My wife dont respect my parents

    What role does Islam play in your life and your wifes life? Do you both pray every obligatory prayer? Do you both understand the rights and duties of the parents, husband and wife?

    Leave a comment:

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