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Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

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  • Stoic Believer
    replied
    Originally posted by Kya View Post
    Just wanted to give update because I am happy. Alhamdulilah, Allah has answered my friends prayer during month of Ramadan. Her parents just came on board a week before the wedding. They will be giving her away & taking care of everything.

    *what a relief, now I will be a guest at the wedding instead of trying to fulfill her family role*
    Alhamdulillah.

    Leave a comment:


  • Kya
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Just wanted to give update because I am happy. Alhamdulilah, Allah has answered my friends prayer during month of Ramadan. Her parents just came on board a week before the wedding. They will be giving her away & taking care of everything.

    *what a relief, now I will be a guest at the wedding instead of trying to fulfill her family role*

    Leave a comment:


  • Dinobot
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
    Firstly, manners is what defines a good Muslim... You man child, have none. Since its Ramadan, I will refrain from putting you back to the gutters. Also, marriage isn't just about sex. I'm quite sure that's not her sole reason for wanting to marry!

    Where I live, there used to be no Mosque. There are areas here where I know, very few Muslims live, and guess what? Yep, no Mosques. So, let's get back down to earth, shall we? What are they to do, if they have crazy parents?

    Your analogy with the poor men is still ridiculous because they men are providers. If they can't provide and want to marry, they are clearly irresponsible men... Why would the prophet tell them to marry?

    Did you know that even pig meat would become halal if it came to survival?

    This case is an exception. We are talking about a grown woman who has been trying to marry the halal way with no help from her parents. She's not 10 years old, she's mature and a doctor. Whilst I would also encourage parental involvement or even a relatives... Not all have such luxury. I still have my reservations about the guy as she or her family don't know him well. However, if she does know him and believe him to be a good enough husband... And does find an Imam to marry them and the Imam knows her family don't agree... What is the issue?
    Heh. Resorting to the last trap card. You are being mean!

    Here is a commandment from the quran

    O you who have believed, obey Allah and obey the Messenger. Clear cut as it can get. But my word, I am bad muslim for pointing the inconvienient truth about you and those who want to marry without a wali. The prophet of Islam's uncle was a kaffir. And yet the prophet tried his best to convince him to be a muslim. To the end. He failed but it didn't stop him from trying. Whereas you are telling muslim girls here to abandon their parents even calling them crazies simply because they do not agree with who they would get married to. I get the feeling you are a rebel. You chaff a lot and if I were to surmise you are just projecting your own frustrations because you are not married yet. Now I couldn't care less like I said before that you break your parents or marry without a wali or live the rest of your life as a zani in the eyes of allah.

    What angers me is when you try and give your worthless unislamic law breaking advice to sisters here. And yeah pig meat is halal when there is no food but men are not pig food and there are plenty of men out there if you are patient enough and actually work with your parents to get them. Lot better than working against them. I don't know about you but I rather get into a marriage with barakah from my parents than against. Even for someone like me who needs no permission to marry the woman I want.

    Finally a man can fully provide for his wife without a dowry. Pre Islamic arabs used to do that. Its only when islam came about that the prophet said men had to pay dowry to their wives. No ifs no buts. And mashallah those people accepted it. No excuses put forth by anyone. And today we have people like trying to weasel out from the prophet's commandments. Like I said. I really don't care about you. But I do care about the genuine people here looking for advice

    Leave a comment:


  • Ibn Taleb
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
    Yes, but what if there is no sharia court? Muslims die single?
    Ur in a non muslim country ... Comes with the territory ... Try an imam Insha Allah things work out

    Leave a comment:


  • SheSaid
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    I'd like to see a conversation about what should happen in cases where a family denies or delays marriage for their daughter long-term. I've heard of cases of women in their 40's denied marriage so that they can provide income to the family or be the primary care provider for a sick family member. In a lot of cultures it's viewed as a lack of haya to express wanting to get married so many will stay silent and accept their situation, seeing it as a part of their role as a good daughter to put the needs of others before their own. The sister in questions family definitely share part of the blame.

    Leave a comment:


  • Figs
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    [MENTION=43833]Kya[/MENTION]

    My heart hurt when I read this thread. I'm just hoping something will happen soon to fix the situation. Your friend sounds like a very nice person. :(
    [MENTION=24647]umm uthman[/MENTION] agree

    Leave a comment:


  • علي
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Well I'd just like to note that it's possible for someone to get married with a waliy other than their parents if their parents didn't do their job correctly. In which case, helping them out would not be helping in what is haram because the waliy requirement is fulfilled.

    I'm not commenting on this situation in particular though because it's a case by case thing and I'm not a sheikh who has studied it to offer a verdict on it. I'm just saying that it's possible for there to be a waliy other than the parents. The sister should of course find a waliy lest she falls into major haram without realizing it, and I agree with the above. Getting an Imam involved to reconcile with parents and show them the light could be a good idea, if indeed she is not doing anything wrong in the first place.

    Leave a comment:


  • Umm Uthmaan
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Before making any hasty decision I'd advise her to reach out to a trustworthy local imam and ask him to act as a mediator. The best scenario would be, if she could get her parents on board. However, if the two families are already bickering, maybe she should reconsider the whole thing.

    Leave a comment:


  • Linkdeutscher
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
    I'm not surprised that you would make such a ridiculous comparison. I mean, after all you think it's okay for a husband to rape his wife.
    Now it's ridiculous. Keep it up.

    Leave a comment:


  • In my Opinion
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
    The issue is that a condition of marriage being valid is missing?

    What if this was this way:

    Family finds their daughter a guy, they know him and believe him to be a good husband and find an Imam to marry them, only thing is the daughter doesn't want to, but hey the Imam knows she doesn't agree...what is the issue?
    I'm not surprised that you would make such a ridiculous comparison. I mean, after all you think it's okay for a husband to rape his wife.

    Leave a comment:


  • Linkdeutscher
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Originally posted by In my Opinion View Post
    Firstly, manners is what defines a good Muslim... You man child, have none. Since its Ramadan, I will refrain from putting you back to the gutters. Also, marriage isn't just about sex. I'm quite sure that's not her sole reason for wanting to marry!

    Where I live, there used to be no Mosque. There are areas here where I know, very few Muslims live, and guess what? Yep, no Mosques. So, let's get back down to earth, shall we? What are they to do, if they have crazy parents?

    Your analogy with the poor men is still ridiculous because they men are providers. If they can't provide and want to marry, they are clearly irresponsible men... Why would the prophet tell them to marry?

    Did you know that even pig meat would become halal if it came to survival?

    This case is an exception. We are talking about a grown woman who has been trying to marry the halal way with no help from her parents. She's not 10 years old, she's mature and a doctor. Whilst I would also encourage parental involvement or even a relatives... Not all have such luxury. I still have my reservations about the guy as she or her family don't know him well. However, if she does know him and believe him to be a good enough husband... And does find an Imam to marry them and the Imam knows her family don't agree... What is the issue?
    The issue is that a condition of marriage being valid is missing?

    What if this was this way:

    Family finds their daughter a guy, they know him and believe him to be a good husband and find an Imam to marry them, only thing is the daughter doesn't want to, but hey the Imam knows she doesn't agree...what is the issue?

    Leave a comment:


  • In my Opinion
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    Originally posted by Dinobot View Post
    I don't deal with pointless assumptions and theories. You can find muslims in japan and in the amazon jungles itself. So stop wasting my time. You will find an imam and a mosque or a community.

    There is no nikkah without a wali as the prophet said. No ifs no buts. Don't bring Khadijah into it. She married the prophet way before islam was even introduced by the prophet. If you are desperate for sex so much that you can't be bothered to look for a wali, that's your problem. But don't come over here and tell muslim girls to break their religious requirements just to get in bed with someone. Those men who wanted to marry a woman without fulfilling their religious requirements were denied marriage by the prophet themselves. You say they are looking for sex. May be may be not. But they wanted to marry and they were companions. No special priviledged were given.

    So trust me you ain't getting one either. So go right ahead. Live in zina all your life. I couldn't care less if you ended in jahanam. But don't mislead genuine muslim girls here.
    Firstly, manners is what defines a good Muslim... You man child, have none. Since its Ramadan, I will refrain from putting you back to the gutters. Also, marriage isn't just about sex. I'm quite sure that's not her sole reason for wanting to marry!

    Where I live, there used to be no Mosque. There are areas here where I know, very few Muslims live, and guess what? Yep, no Mosques. So, let's get back down to earth, shall we? What are they to do, if they have crazy parents?

    Your analogy with the poor men is still ridiculous because they men are providers. If they can't provide and want to marry, they are clearly irresponsible men... Why would the prophet tell them to marry?

    Did you know that even pig meat would become halal if it came to survival?

    This case is an exception. We are talking about a grown woman who has been trying to marry the halal way with no help from her parents. She's not 10 years old, she's mature and a doctor. Whilst I would also encourage parental involvement or even a relatives... Not all have such luxury. I still have my reservations about the guy as she or her family don't know him well. However, if she does know him and believe him to be a good enough husband... And does find an Imam to marry them and the Imam knows her family don't agree... What is the issue?

    Leave a comment:


  • Muslima London
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    [QUOTE=quark;7054819]Young girls? Streets? What on earth are you talking about. She's a 32 year old doctor and from the description, knowledgeable of Islam as well. She'll clearly not end up on the streets, no, she's desperate and rightly so.


    It's not unlikely that her parents are keeping her from getting married by making up excuses so she'll stay and support them when they're old.[/
    QUOTE]

    this

    Leave a comment:


  • m7md
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    The person has probably now long been married, may I ask y this post has been brought up again for discussion.
    If they wali denies marriage, there can u be no marriage unless second wali is present.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mutant
    replied
    Re: Would you support friend marrying without parents permission?

    What a terrible situation....

    Leave a comment:

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