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My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

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  • #31
    Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

    Originally posted by greengarden View Post
    Salaam,

    Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my heart, I am very grateful for your duas' and support!


    I humbly request you to kindly remember this seeker of God in your prayers, for I am in need of them.

    Thank you!

    Wassalam.
    Thank you sister, for being strong and having such a wonderful perspective about the situation. It's rare to find introspective people that actually look at what they themselves could have done better, even when they themselves were wronged in a particular situation. May Allah increase you in strength, piety, fill your life with His noor and barakah, and help you get closer to Him...I'm happy to hear you're in the process of healing. May Allah ease all your pains and hardships, and give you the best in this world and the hereafter.

    Comment


    • #32
      Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

      Originally posted by Fragile View Post
      I can't pray for you I only pray for Allah swt but I'll make duaa for you sister..

      Cheating is very common sis..I saw it in my life, in work and even in uni.. divorce is high because of it and what can we do.
      I saw a colleague once with another colleague and he has a wife and kids at home so I asked him once in the canteen what's up and he said " he likes to change" is that normal for men, I don't know..

      Best advice I can give you is to concentrate on your health and children.. Leave him be, he can go and do what he wants because he will answer to Allah swt so don't confront him or hold it against him. Some girls are cheap and throw themselves on men, be wise and ignore it otherwise if you leave then she will move in or another. You will lose out and so will your kids... Trust me.. You need to think wisely not emotionally. Let him go and cheat, you focus on your kids and continue to be a good wife. He will answer to allah swt... Not to you. Do your duties as a wife and mother and you wll be rewarded greatly.

      Many men cheat it's the wise women who know how to control it.. And he will feel guilty and stop... But if you stand up to him then he will do it further to hurt you.
      This is terrible advice.
      There is no reason this sister should put up with this from her husband and no one should even advise her to.
      What he did is a severely major sin.
      We all know the hadd punishment for adultery.
      I'm not saying enact that punishment (because there would be four witnesses to the act necessary)
      But the fact remains his sin is severe
      And he is not a man who is capable of being a good father.
      If he repents and changes his ways that is something he has to do on his own on his own time.
      The honest fact is that he does not deserve this woman to be his wife or deserve to be a role model to any children.

      Comment


      • #33
        Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

        Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post
        This is where the husband not being here to tell his side of the story comes into play. Maybe his wife wasn't available to him. I don't want to know the answer to this. But this situation may be a lot more complicated than it seems. Also, a striking point for me was the "I won't allow it!" polygamy comment. Ultimately, it's not about allowing. That comes across as very resistant and controlling behavior. Granted, no one has to agree to be in a poly situation, but you also can't restrict other people, either. Anyway, I wish this couple the best. It's very sad when people have marriage difficulty.
        The husband didn't marry another woman, he didn't do anything halal, or even anything minor,
        he commuted adultery.
        There is never any excuse to commit adultery.
        He has no side of the story to listen to when his actions speak for themselves.
        We should not try to justify his disgusting actions.

        Comment


        • #34
          Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

          Originally posted by londonmuslimguy View Post
          Yes you "love" him so much yet clearly not enough to type "I will not allow it!" at the thought of him perhaps finding happiness with polygamy. It sounds more like yr ego has taken a hit not your heart. As you say yourself you can get on without him but are staying "for the children" and presumably financial benefits. I'm not excusing whatever it is he has or hasn't done just saying some women think they are the masters of their husbands and when things like this happen claim they are "broken hearted".. When in reality it is their pride and arrogance that is bruised
          Polygamys out of the question man.
          The man committed adultery.
          If there were four witnesses to the act and he calls himself
          Muslim then we know what the punishment for that is.
          This dude committed one of the most severe sins, whether he wants a second wife or not doesn't matter.
          If he seriously wanted a second wife he could've approached it the halal way and married.

          Please don't insult the sister and accuse her of pride or ego or "seeking financial benefits" when she's done nothing at all to show that.
          She's suffering.
          And the man she's with is by definition of his reprehensible actions, scum.

          Why are you trying to blame an innocent woman?
          And defend a man who does not deserve to be married?

          Comment


          • #35
            Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

            H
            Originally posted by Cpt.America View Post
            This is terrible advice.
            There is no reason this sister should put up with this from her husband and no one should even advise her to.
            What he did is a severely major sin.
            We all know the hadd punishment for adultery.
            I'm not saying enact that punishment (because there would be four witnesses to the act necessary)
            But the fact remains his sin is severe
            And he is not a man who is capable of being a good father.
            If he repents and changes his ways that is something he has to do on his own on his own time.
            The honest fact is that he does not deserve this woman to be his wife or deserve to be a role model to any children.
            Go save the world!
            I love you, cherish you and worship you,
            Guide me on your path to your janna,
            Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


            :love:Allah:love:

            Comment


            • #36
              Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

              Originally posted by Fragile View Post
              H

              Go save the world!
              Thank you sister. I'm trying but IronMan keeps disagreeing with me :(

              Comment


              • #37
                Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                Try mediation or counselling.

                An affair is almost unforgiveable, as it is prolonged betrayal.

                I hope and pray that things work out for you.

                ~ML~
                If you, or anyone you know, needs a Lawyer, please message me

                Comment


                • #38
                  Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                  Originally posted by Cpt.America View Post
                  Thank you sister. I'm trying but IronMan keeps disagreeing with me :(
                  How does it feel to be 70 and still look young? lol and ironman is awesome
                  I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                  Guide me on your path to your janna,
                  Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                  :love:Allah:love:

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                    Originally posted by Fragile View Post
                    How does it feel to be 70 and still look young? lol and ironman is awesome
                    Youth is nice, but all my friends are dead. :'(

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                      Originally posted by Cpt.America View Post
                      Youth is nice, but all my friends are dead. :'(
                      It's quite awesome how you go along with it lool :rotfl:
                      I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                      Guide me on your path to your janna,
                      Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                      :love:Allah:love:

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                        Originally posted by Fragile View Post
                        It's quite awesome how you go along with it lool :rotfl:
                        I wish Tony would go along with it also, but you know, he's got this stupid idea that we need to be registered with the government!
                        It doesn't sound too bad, but what happens when the government legalized gay marriage? Or when they tell us to support Israel? It's just not sharia ... Civil War


                        Lol sorry for derailing the thread OP.

                        I cannot give you advice.
                        (Although I am of the opinion your husbands actions are unforgivable, I cannot fathom the pain making the decision to stay in such a relationship, or the pain to divorce must be. I am sorry you are suffering through this.)

                        I came across this article today

                        http://hadithoftheday.com/turning-to...-of-our-lives/

                        Turning to Allah has been the best advice I've ever relieved in my darkest hours,
                        and InshaaAllah no matter what the outcome of your predicament is, and no matter how long it how hard the journey becomes,
                        Turning to Him will help you, guide you, and preserve you through all these hardships life is throwing at you.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                          Salaam,

                          By Allah SWT's grace I am feeling a little more peaceful within my self, thank you for your continued support and prayers.
                          These past few weeks have been like hell for me and only Allah knows what I have gone through. Shukr to Allah I am no longer in the same state of anxiety as I was and I know longer am struggling in thought process. Alhamdulillah!
                          I did say I would hit back!
                          I have been brutally honest with myself and have come to the conclusion that actually loving other than Allah and his Prophet SAW is a mirage, its all fake, nothing more and nothing less, just fake, and, if I expect to get the same level of commitment in loving a human being then I am lost, annihilation is my outcome! I'd much rather be annihilated in my love for Allah than in the love for a mere a man!
                          I can't believe I obsessed in this fake love so much so that I could have ended up with a stroke, the amount of thinking I had burdened my self with, was this creature of God going to look after me in my sickly state? Who would take care of my children? Did I conceive and give birth to them only to betray them? I am stronger than that! I am no longer mesmerised by this man, who isn't worthy of this state of my love. This love is exclusive for my Lord! I will not allow this heart of mine to be fooled or filled like a vessel with insignificance! Don't get me wrong, I'm still holding on with this marriage, you see, I have this disease called loyalty, when I ventured out on this path of marriage, I did so with the intention "till death do we part". I would much rather choose a life of religiously motivated celibacy than ever marry again! Because man is not worth the headache. Sorry to seem negative about marriage but I've seen enough to last me a lifetime! I've had my fill, I'm done!

                          Rumi said — 'Why struggle to open a door between us when the whole wall is an illusion?', how true!

                          I'm not that stupid I knew a very long time ago that this man was ungrateful, but you see I am diseased with this thing called, loyalty, I have not acquired it by working hard or through self struggle, it has been passed down my genes through my honourable parents and there honourable tarbiyyah.
                          I can't believe that there are people out there who judge so meticulously, you think that I am an incompetent imbecile, that I need a mans wage to sustain me? You judge my professional background, go figure! By God, you don't even know me from Adam and you throw me snidely judgemental remarks of uncanny nature? I am disgusted not at you but at your mentality. LOL - Polygamy, you think its some kind of a blessing on man, its more of a tribulation matey, we'll see who has the last laugh on the day of judgement, am I of the weaker gender? Bring it on!!!. Mockery of religion, that's what some of these "I know it all" Muslims do every day, giving the impression that they are Godly. Had I have gone to my Non Muslim Atheist friend she would have been more of a Muslim than some of the so called Muslims out there, and this without the declaration of faith. You think fighting for saving your marriage is arrogant? You think because a lady has tried and given many years of her life to some man, struggled at the best of times, put up with verbal and physical excrement only to see her man go off with another lady, fathom that, you think its okay? Bull crap!
                          Thank God for Allah's mercy!
                          I feel embarrassed that I am having to go through this ordeal let alone going to see my GP for counselling. Brother I will think about private counselling when I'm ready, at the moment God is my counsellor. And say, okay, I go ahead with it, by doing so will only put the blame on my husband therefore bring his honour down to zilch. Despite his hideous actions I can't do that to him, it would incredibly hurt him, I fear Allah, so can't do that!

                          Captain America, Allah bless you, you remind me of my big brothers whom I look up to, thank you, if I told them about what I have been going through, there the kind of chaps that would fly to the moon and back, using every resource in there capacity, just to get me justice! Now that's what I call superheroes!

                          I am done here, getting ever closer to my goal.

                          And in Allah SWT I place my trust!

                          Wassalam
                          “You should have hope in God alone and should fear nothing but your sins.”
                          ----- Ali Ibn Abu-Talib R.A ----

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