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  • My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

    Salaam,

    I am going through pain that is unbearable and right now my soul is in complete jeopardy.

    I am going on living my life but in actual fact I am broken, deeply, profoundly, broken!

    My soul is not at peace. I try to go on I really do for the sake of my children! I try to pull myself together, fake a smile here and there. When you love someone, I mean truly love someone and that love isn't reciprocated, it hurts. It hurts so much I can only describe this pain as though someone is throwing salt on an open wound! Loving truly hurts, but its the only thing that I know! I must be the maddest person around, to forgive a cheating spouse, but nobody understands my plight, I actually love this dim wit who has betrayed my trust, my sincere love! And this is what hurts so much! Because of this I can't leave him, as foolish as it sounds, he is the only thing I know.

    Please pray for me, I need closure, I need to move on. I have asked Allah to give me the strength to forgive him and not delve into deep thinking about what he did, but if I'm honest deep down I feel like I can't trust him, unfortunately I can't trust him and I am feeling vulnerable and crazily insecure about this. I question myself, will he do it again??? I don't have that much strength to forgive him again, for Gods sake I am only human! What hurts is the fact that a mere few moments of supposed adventure or excitement didn't make my husband think about what we had!!!! 10 long years, feels as though they've been wasted, I have been living a lie! I feel like I have been destroyed! For goodness sake, why lie to me, why? If he had of sat me down and told me what he was going through, we could have come to a better understanding, I would been able to help him understand doing illicit things is not the way for a believing soul in God, we could have come to some rational understanding! ! ! Still, I forgive him and I pray for him because I love him!, Please Allah protect my husband from hurting my heart by having an affair or breaking my trust, for the sake of my love, and my little children!

    Push comes to shove, I know I can live without him, I can raise my children, but they won't have their father by there side, you see my father passed away when I was six years old, so I know what life without a father is like, I don't want that for my children! When I walked out on my husband he started to cry, he cried like a baby, screaming and shouting about his love for his children, our family, me, he says he can't live without them or me. Did he not think of me, our children, our sacred bond when he did what he did??????!!!!!

    Please pray for me, I am in need of your prayers! My soul needs to find peace. Of course I have turned to Allah, I wouldn't have made these big sacrifices without my dear Lords kindness, grace and help! I am not interested in him marrying a second wife, its just simply not for me, I will never allow that! He is adult enough to decide his path.

    Thank you for taking the time to read, please pray for me!

    Wassalam.
    Somebody's heart broken wife!
    “You should have hope in God alone and should fear nothing but your sins.”
    ----- Ali Ibn Abu-Talib R.A ----

  • #2
    Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

    Hi sister, your husband is very lucky to have a wife who loves him so much. I am not married yet but this is my opinion: it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. Ask for the reason why he did what he did. And if it's other than "because I don't love you anymore", then try to talk, understand his reasons and work together on the lacks. Maybe some days far from each other can help a bit.

    I wish happiness for you and your family.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

      I can't pray for you I only pray for Allah swt but I'll make duaa for you sister..

      Cheating is very common sis..I saw it in my life, in work and even in uni.. divorce is high because of it and what can we do.
      I saw a colleague once with another colleague and he has a wife and kids at home so I asked him once in the canteen what's up and he said " he likes to change" is that normal for men, I don't know..

      Best advice I can give you is to concentrate on your health and children.. Leave him be, he can go and do what he wants because he will answer to Allah swt so don't confront him or hold it against him. Some girls are cheap and throw themselves on men, be wise and ignore it otherwise if you leave then she will move in or another. You will lose out and so will your kids... Trust me.. You need to think wisely not emotionally. Let him go and cheat, you focus on your kids and continue to be a good wife. He will answer to allah swt... Not to you. Do your duties as a wife and mother and you wll be rewarded greatly.

      Many men cheat it's the wise women who know how to control it.. And he will feel guilty and stop... But if you stand up to him then he will do it further to hurt you.
      I love you, cherish you and worship you,
      Guide me on your path to your janna,
      Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


      :love:Allah:love:

      Comment


      • #4
        My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

        may Allah SWT forgive your husband and guide him to the right path and may Allah SWT remove every haram love from his heart and replace it with halal love of his wife and children, Aameen.

        may Allah SWT make your heart more loving and strong, may Allah SWT bless you with courage to forgive your husband and to cover his faults, Aameen.


        Comment


        • #5
          Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

          Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
          Hi sister, your husband is very lucky to have a wife who loves him so much. I am not married yet but this is my opinion: it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. Ask for the reason why he did what he did. And if it's other than "because I don't love you anymore", then try to talk, understand his reasons and work together on the lacks. Maybe some days far from each other can help a bit.

          I wish happiness for you and your family.
          This is true. Usually when a man cheats it's not because he doesn't love his wife. It's usually just desires that are the primary cause of this type of behavior.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

            Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear. My duas are with you sis.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

              Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
              This is true. Usually when a man cheats it's not because he doesn't love his wife. It's usually just desires that are the primary cause of this type of behavior.
              Still, no excuse to go behind your spouse and betray them and pretty much cheat on yourself like that. Cheating your hereafter. Especially if you love your wife, then it doesn't make sense. You love her but you're betraying her? That's not love.

              I don't know what to say sister, but it is very disheartening to read about this and I want you to know that you and many like yourself that are in this situation will be in my duas :insha: don't lose hope.

              Technically, if there is evidence and their are witnesses, he is supposed to be stoned to death under sharia law.

              Don't forget who you are, and I agree with what fragile has said about being strong for yourself and your children. Allah is your witness and he is the master of the day of judgement and he will question us for what we did. Allah does not betray us, Allah is what we need to get us through this temporary life.

              If it helps and you want to talk to someone, I think there is a muslim helpline for women, so if you just want to talk to a muslim sister anonymously then they might advice you what to do in terms of what will happen with children, how you can carry on living with this man if you do decide to etc. You can even speak to scholar, there is one on here, but he hasn't been online for a while, his name is [MENTION=105052]Darul Ilm[/MENTION]

              It is tough but don't despair, verily with difficulty comes ease.

              May Allah bless you for your patience and shower you with rewards in this world and the hereafter for what you are going through -Ameen
              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                :salams

                Cheating one's wife or husband is completely unacceptable. May Allah SWT do justice, and protect us from such spouses, and reassure you sister. Ameen.
                La ilaha illallahu, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, wa Huwa 'ala kulli sha'in Qadir
                (there is no true god except Allah. He is One and He has no partner with Him; His is the sovereignty and His is the praise, and He is Omnipotent),'
                Do not say about Allah but Truth.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                  Originally posted by greengarden View Post
                  Salaam,

                  I am going through pain that is unbearable and right now my soul is in complete jeopardy.

                  I am going on living my life but in actual fact I am broken, deeply, profoundly, broken!

                  My soul is not at peace. I try to go on I really do for the sake of my children! I try to pull myself together, fake a smile here and there. When you love someone, I mean truly love someone and that love isn't reciprocated, it hurts. It hurts so much I can only describe this pain as though someone is throwing salt on an open wound! Loving truly hurts, but its the only thing that I know! I must be the maddest person around, to forgive a cheating spouse, but nobody understands my plight, I actually love this dim wit who has betrayed my trust, my sincere love! And this is what hurts so much! Because of this I can't leave him, as foolish as it sounds, he is the only thing I know.

                  Please pray for me, I need closure, I need to move on. I have asked Allah to give me the strength to forgive him and not delve into deep thinking about what he did, but if I'm honest deep down I feel like I can't trust him, unfortunately I can't trust him and I am feeling vulnerable and crazily insecure about this. I question myself, will he do it again??? I don't have that much strength to forgive him again, for Gods sake I am only human! What hurts is the fact that a mere few moments of supposed adventure or excitement didn't make my husband think about what we had!!!! 10 long years, feels as though they've been wasted, I have been living a lie! I feel like I have been destroyed! For goodness sake, why lie to me, why? If he had of sat me down and told me what he was going through, we could have come to a better understanding, I would been able to help him understand doing illicit things is not the way for a believing soul in God, we could have come to some rational understanding! ! ! Still, I forgive him and I pray for him because I love him!, Please Allah protect my husband from hurting my heart by having an affair or breaking my trust, for the sake of my love, and my little children!

                  Push comes to shove, I know I can live without him, I can raise my children, but they won't have their father by there side, you see my father passed away when I was six years old, so I know what life without a father is like, I don't want that for my children! When I walked out on my husband he started to cry, he cried like a baby, screaming and shouting about his love for his children, our family, me, he says he can't live without them or me. Did he not think of me, our children, our sacred bond when he did what he did??????!!!!!

                  Please pray for me, I am in need of your prayers! My soul needs to find peace. Of course I have turned to Allah, I wouldn't have made these big sacrifices without my dear Lords kindness, grace and help! I am not interested in him marrying a second wife, its just simply not for me, I will never allow that! He is adult enough to decide his path.

                  Thank you for taking the time to read, please pray for me!

                  Wassalam.
                  Somebody's heart broken wife!
                  http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...he-Islamic-Way


                  We are really sorry for what you are getting through, you will be in our prayers

                  this is a helpful thread

                  JazakAllah
                  Please Please Please Make Dua for these [URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?455964-Plz-Make-Dua-for-these-members&p=6715010&viewfull=1#post6715010"]Click Here[/URL] JazakAllahi

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                    Still, no excuse to go behind your spouse and betray them and pretty much cheat on yourself like that. Cheating your hereafter. Especially if you love your wife, then it doesn't make sense. You love her but you're betraying her? That's not love.

                    I don't know what to say sister, but it is very disheartening to read about this and I want you to know that you and many like yourself that are in this situation will be in my duas :insha: don't lose hope.

                    Technically, if there is evidence and their are witnesses, he is supposed to be stoned to death under sharia law.

                    Don't forget who you are, and I agree with what fragile has said about being strong for yourself and your children. Allah is your witness and he is the master of the day of judgement and he will question us for what we did. Allah does not betray us, Allah is what we need to get us through this temporary life.

                    If it helps and you want to talk to someone, I think there is a muslim helpline for women, so if you just want to talk to a muslim sister anonymously then they might advice you what to do in terms of what will happen with children, how you can carry on living with this man if you do decide to etc. You can even speak to scholar, there is one on here, but he hasn't been online for a while, his name is [MENTION=105052]Darul Ilm[/MENTION]

                    It is tough but don't despair, verily with difficulty comes ease.

                    May Allah bless you for your patience and shower you with rewards in this world and the hereafter for what you are going through -Ameen
                    No excuse at all.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                      I don't get the logic here. If someone has desires, and has a wife, they should go to their spouse, not some random stranger.
                      La ilaha illallahu, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, wa Huwa 'ala kulli sha'in Qadir
                      (there is no true god except Allah. He is One and He has no partner with Him; His is the sovereignty and His is the praise, and He is Omnipotent),'
                      Do not say about Allah but Truth.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                        Originally posted by Serinity View Post
                        I don't get the logic here. If someone has desires, and has a wife, they should go to their spouse, not some random stranger.
                        Marriage requires commitment and being faithful to your spouse. This is why it's a big test and satan will try to break it.

                        If you live and work in an environment where you're exposed to fitnah then you have to fight it. If you see pretty faces, you lower your gaze and control yourself until you go home and see your wife about it.

                        That's still disturbing though, knowing your husband has come to you after seeing another woman.

                        Some muslims get 'bored' and fall into sin. A wife or husband is not enough so they want another kind of excitement or whatever it is they are looking for.

                        Someone in the states I think created a website where you can cheat on your spouse! Encouraging adultery, astagfirullah.
                        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                          Originally posted by Serinity View Post
                          I don't get the logic here. If someone has desires, and has a wife, they should go to their spouse, not some random stranger.
                          Yes, and Rasulullah(saw) even said that if you see a woman and feel desire, you should go be intimate with your wife asap.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                            Yes, and Rasulullah(saw) even said that if you see a woman and feel desire, you should go be intimate with your wife asap.
                            This is where the husband not being here to tell his side of the story comes into play. Maybe his wife wasn't available to him. I don't want to know the answer to this. But this situation may be a lot more complicated than it seems. Also, a striking point for me was the "I won't allow it!" polygamy comment. Ultimately, it's not about allowing. That comes across as very resistant and controlling behavior. Granted, no one has to agree to be in a poly situation, but you also can't restrict other people, either. Anyway, I wish this couple the best. It's very sad when people have marriage difficulty.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: My heart is aching, my soul is in pain, need your prayers!

                              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                              Marriage requires commitment and being faithful to your spouse. This is why it's a big test and satan will try to break it.

                              If you live and work in an environment where you're exposed to fitnah then you have to fight it. If you see pretty faces, you lower your gaze and control yourself until you go home and see your wife about it.

                              That's still disturbing though, knowing your husband has come to you after seeing another woman.

                              Some muslims get 'bored' and fall into sin. A wife or husband is not enough so they want another kind of excitement or whatever it is they are looking for.

                              Someone in the states I think created a website where you can cheat on your spouse! Encouraging adultery, astagfirullah.
                              Sadly some marriages do break down because of boredom and depression. Classic case of needs not being met.

                              Comment

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