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Is it permissible for the groom to marry in secret?

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  • #61
    Re: Is it permissible for the groom to marry in secret?

    Originally posted by 2BlackThings View Post
    Salams everyone. I hope you are well.

    I wanted to get some advice regarding a dilemma I am facing. I know most of you probably have heard this before and it may come as a no-brainer to some of you, but nonetheless, I would really appreciate it if you can give me some sincere advice. I would prefer it coming from someone who has experience of this as they may be able to relate to it well and give me a realistic opinion on it. Ok..so here goes.

    I wish to get married to this brother, however his family is not happy with him marrying me. He is Pakistani and I am Bangladeshi. Yes, before you say anything, it is a 'race thing'. I have met his family. He has met mine. My family are happy to go ahead with this marriage provided his family knows about it.

    This is where it gets complicated. We have tried to get his family's blessings for 8 years now and still to no avail. He values his family very much and he does not want to lose them. If he marries me, his family will cut ties and disown him so he has suggested that we marry but we do not tell his family. Is this permissible? I suggested we tell his family at a later date because, regardless of the issues, they have a right to know. Please advise. Not sure what to do.
    8 years is a long time. So you've both tried but his family is still living with the old mindset.

    It is permissable for you to marry. If his family disowns him that's with them and God. He won't be getting sin for it and neither will you.

    He should marry, and both of you should start your own life together. Family should not stop you from getting married after all things considered.

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    • #62
      Re: Is it permissible for the groom to marry in secret?

      i think marriage should be announced, even if the ceremony was done in secret (considering All criterias are met), cuz you don't want people accuse you and your wife of immoral behaviour or worse call your children illegitimate. Plus it has to do with confirming lineage which is a big issue in Islam. If the parents are not happy then you should marry a woman who would be patient with the possible misconduct towards her and most of all able to tolerate it, your parents might grow over the hate because of the kindness. Else you are dragging someone into a hell.

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      • #63
        Re: Is it permissible for the groom to marry in secret?

        Originally posted by Mohamed Mifxal View Post
        i think marriage should be announced, even if the ceremony was done in secret (considering All criterias are met), cuz you don't want people accuse you and your wife of immoral behaviour or worse call your children illegitimate. Plus it has to do with confirming lineage which is a big issue in Islam. If the parents are not happy then you should marry a woman who would be patient with the possible misconduct towards her and most of all able to tolerate it, your parents might grow over the hate because of the kindness. Else you are dragging someone into a hell.
        Mostly people have given good advice.
        I know one couple both from Bangladesh and have relation much longer and marriage was delaying. Male went back home Bangladesh and married younger more beautiful and educated girl and they have children now in a happy life.
        While girl is still single and hitting 40-50 and unable to find some one to get marry.
        If you have build up haram relation then there will be no barakah in this secret marriage and may not last long
        :lailah:

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        • #64
          Re: Is it permissible for the groom to marry in secret?

          :salams

          Tbh, I wouldn't wait 8 years for someone to marry me. I'd say straight up "Either we marry publically, where both of our parents know 100% what is going on, or there is no marriage between us"
          La ilaha illallahu, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, wa Huwa 'ala kulli sha'in Qadir
          (there is no true god except Allah. He is One and He has no partner with Him; His is the sovereignty and His is the praise, and He is Omnipotent),'
          Do not say about Allah but Truth.

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