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New revert and first approach by a muslim guy

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  • #46
    Re: New revert and first approach by a muslim guy

    Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post
    Families can be more than happy to the face of a western girl thinking that they will benefit from the son marrying her. I've seen this happen. It's not uncommon for the family, and even neighbors and such, to play along hoping to benefit down the road. It is also typical for a guy to say that he wants to stay in his country to make it sound legit, then he harasses her to come to her country once they're married. If he's sincere, he will find a way to get to her country on his own to meet her family and marry her. If he needs her assistance in any way, he's not a candidate for marriage. Better safe than sorry. I don't want to hear of another woman being abused and left with kids after a guy either decides she's too different from him or just wants citizenship. She needs to tie her camel. That comes from providing no assistance.
    You are so right !
    "Some call me the doomsayer."

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    • #47
      Re: New revert and first approach by a muslim guy

      Originally posted by NewRevert! View Post
      Yes, some people here think that they can benefit from marrying a western girl. But, in terms of what? The only thing is maybe the possibility to travel to Europe and USA without visas...

      If he wants to move to my country, as you said after the marriage, then it would be a problem. He doesn't speak the language of my country and it would be impossible to find a job.

      Anyways, he never asked for money to come to Europe, but for sure he needs an invitation letter for the visa, otherwise it would be difficult, if not impossible. However, he has some friends living in Europe, I mean western friends (I guess he met them through his work and throughout his studies at university).
      ASSALAMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAH

      Sister, you are too naive! I mean anyone can see through this whole drama...He is trying to take advantage of you...I am pretty sure about that...this whole charade that the guy is playing is too obvious...he wants to set foot in your country in Europe...I don't think you have had much experience with some kinds of Asian people...no offense here because I am an Asian too...I am just trying to state the obvious that I have seen around me...they would do anything to go to the west..believe me!

      1. Being good to you till the mission is accomplished.
      2. Family is going to help him as well since they are looking at a greater picture also.

      I have seen literally hundreds of people who doesn't know the language of a western country but still are living there and getting by just fine. Tricky and cunning folks just like he sounds to be don't need all that to live and get by in a different languaged country like yours. Since he is not that pious and he has mentioned the "but you are European" thing way too often he is definitely attracted to the fact that you are European, not that you are Muslim. He is a cultural Muslim not a real one. He is probably trying to get in Europe to have a lot of booze and nightclub girls....in one word the freedom that Europe provides. This kind of Muslims who are not practicing and pious TRUTH BE TOLD they are attracted to western culture and tries to settle in the west because of the freedom and money and good lifestyle. Come on lets face it some of them even go atheist when the time is right. You can't even imagine the level of kuffar these days. They use good naive newly converted sisters like you since at first everything seems so good and often at first you guys are pretty naive about Muslims....Be careful when you walk there are munafiqs everywhere...not saying he is one though. Honestly this world is a really bad place with worst kinds of people...I guess you haven't gone that far....you cannot even imagine what people can do for their advantage and up to what degree of false pretense/game/drama they can play. You don't wanna be a victim of that bullsh*t.

      He is gonna try to get the citizenship...Asians have gone to every single western countries so he already has some of his own countrymen in your country i am pretty sure and once everything's done he is going to leave you and they are gonna take him in. and that money issue? His family is gonna help him with all they have because they are also looking at the bigger picture. You think he is going to ask you for money to give away the whole charade? There are levels of deception which most of these people know very well. Truth be told most often Asians are more cunning and trickier than westerners. Even if he has a decent family over here with a decent financial status in the society still you have no idea how much some kinds of Asian people wants to settle in the west leaving it all for the greater good in their point of view...I have seen people abandoning good jobs, good education, good family status in the society for they have bigger plans..which is at first a painful low class life in the west and while building the foundation over there aiming for an even better life than they had back in Asia. You have no idea what some Asian people are like...no idea at all..he doesn't need to know your country's language...cunning people don't need that much...you think its impossible to find a job without it because you have never had that kind of mindset in yourself. and about that invitation letter? Wouldn't you and your family invite your loving and caring husband :tongue-new: to your country?

      Go back to your own country sister and marry a good Muslim man who is already a native of that country...All these things i wrote here is for you to consider...because all of us over here want your good. May Allah guide you through this. Good luck!

      ASSALAMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAH
      "Some call me the doomsayer."

      Comment


      • #48
        Re: New revert and first approach by a muslim guy

        Originally posted by ZeeTheTerrible View Post
        ASSALAMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAH

        Sister, you are too naive! I mean anyone can see through this whole drama...He is trying to take advantage of you...I am pretty sure about that...this whole charade that the guy is playing is too obvious...he wants to set foot in your country in Europe...I don't think you have had much experience with some kinds of Asian people...no offense here because I am an Asian too...I am just trying to state the obvious that I have seen around me...they would do anything to go to the west..believe me!

        1. Being good to you till the mission is accomplished.
        2. Family is going to help him as well since they are looking at a greater picture also.

        I have seen literally hundreds of people who doesn't know the language of a western country but still are living there and getting by just fine. Tricky and cunning folks just like he sounds to be don't need all that to live and get by in a different languaged country like yours. Since he is not that pious and he has mentioned the "but you are European" thing way too often he is definitely attracted to the fact that you are European, not that you are Muslim. He is a cultural Muslim not a real one. He is probably trying to get in Europe to have a lot of booze and nightclub girls....in one word the freedom that Europe provides. This kind of Muslims who are not practicing and pious TRUTH BE TOLD they are attracted to western culture and tries to settle in the west because of the freedom and money and good lifestyle. Come on lets face it some of them even go atheist when the time is right. You can't even imagine the level of kuffar these days. They use good naive newly converted sisters like you since at first everything seems so good and often at first you guys are pretty naive about Muslims....Be careful when you walk there are munafiqs everywhere...not saying he is one though. Honestly this world is a really bad place with worst kinds of people...I guess you haven't gone that far....you cannot even imagine what people can do for their advantage and up to what degree of false pretense/game/drama they can play. You don't wanna be a victim of that bullsh*t.

        He is gonna try to get the citizenship...Asians have gone to every single western countries so he already has some of his own countrymen in your country i am pretty sure and once everything's done he is going to leave you and they are gonna take him in. and that money issue? His family is gonna help him with all they have because they are also looking at the bigger picture. You think he is going to ask you for money to give away the whole charade? There are levels of deception which most of these people know very well. Truth be told most often Asians are more cunning and trickier than westerners. Even if he has a decent family over here with a decent financial status in the society still you have no idea how much some kinds of Asian people wants to settle in the west leaving it all for the greater good in their point of view...I have seen people abandoning good jobs, good education, good family status in the society for they have bigger plans..which is at first a painful low class life in the west and while building the foundation over there aiming for an even better life than they had back in Asia. You have no idea what some Asian people are like...no idea at all..he doesn't need to know your country's language...cunning people don't need that much...you think its impossible to find a job without it because you have never had that kind of mindset in yourself. and about that invitation letter? Wouldn't you and your family invite your loving and caring husband :tongue-new: to your country?

        Go back to your own country sister and marry a good Muslim man who is already a native of that country...All these things i wrote here is for you to consider...because all of us over here want your good. May Allah guide you through this. Good luck!

        ASSALAMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAH
        This is such a terrible scenario, which may happen. However, I personally think that it's not the case as, at a certain point, he explicitly said that he didn't want to go to her country anymore and then he changed idea. And anyways, if he is really interested in her, it's normal he wants to see and meet her family and due to the situation, talking to her about that and travel to her country, seems the only option. Moreover, she said he didn't ask for money but just the invitation letter (which doesn't have a cost).

        Anything can happen in this world and what we give are opinions and ideas. Often the marriage section is full of terrible scenarios and sometimes a bit scary for the new members. [MENTION=138264]NewRevert![/MENTION] what I want to say is that you have to ask for advice anytime you need but at the end, take your own decision and ask for a wali! You seem a bit innocent towards relationships in general. A wali, a true one, as Gingerbeardman advised, will help you.
        Last edited by Alina15; 15-05-16, 06:50 AM.

        Comment


        • #49
          Re: New revert and first approach by a muslim guy

          Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
          This is such a terrible scenario, which may happen. However, I personally think that it's not the case as, at a certain point, he explicitly said that he didn't want to go to her country anymore and then he changed idea. And anyways, if he is really interested in her, it's normal he wants to see and meet her family and due to the situation, talking to her about that and travel to her country, seems the only option. Moreover, she said he didn't ask for money but just the invitation letter (which doesn't have a cost).

          Anything can happen in this world and what we give are opinions and ideas. Often the marriage section is full of terrible scenarios and sometimes a bit scary for the new members. @NewRevert! what I want to say is that you have to ask for advice anytime you need but at the end, take your own decision and ask for a wali! You seem a bit innocent towards relationships in general. A wali, a true one, as Gingerbeardman advised, will help you.
          No no what I was trying to provide was the worst case scenario that might happen...I was just giving her ideas and insight as to what might happen....I never said that is going to happen sister...like i said if he is planning something big he is not going to ask for money coz that would just give away his intention if he has one. since the world is a tricky place...we gotta be tricky as well...we gotta use our own wits to survive in this place so that we do not get hurt by bad people...Allah SWT has given us intelligence...so we should try to use it and the rest is in Allah SWT's hands. He might keep changing his ideas coz he wants the whole thing to look legit he just might....i am not saying he is.

          ASSALAMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAH
          "Some call me the doomsayer."

          Comment

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