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Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

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  • #16
    Re: Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

    Originally posted by Oum Soumayyah View Post
    Wa 'alaykum salaam wa-rahmatullah wa-barakatuh.

    If you both made istikharah and see nothing wrong with each other (deen and character-wise), then I see no reason why you should delay this.
    Unless you have something solid against it, why allow shaytaan to get in the middle of this?
    Both families are okay with each others, and are only uncomfortable with some minor things.

    GO for it! May Allah make it good for you in this world and in the Hereafter.
    JazakAllah khair sister :)

    May Allah reward you

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    • #17
      Re: Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

      Originally posted by adamidris View Post
      I have listened to all my parents' concerns regarding this and I've let them know that their input is important to me. However, I've taken all those concerns into account and decided that regardless of these, it still feels right to go ahead with it. A problem is that my mum keeps saying "you're too young" or "it's too quick", which I feel isn't a good enough reason to stop it from happening.

      Jazakallah khair brother,

      May Allah reward you
      May Allah swt bless your nikkah and grant you righteous children

      Look up Like a Garment by Sh Yasir Qadhi

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      • #18
        Re: Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

        Yes. Go for the nikkah! And please Allah swt!

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        • #19
          Re: Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

          1. You getting to know her and having conversations was wrong...... but it's over and done with now, and you did the right thing when you informed your parents.

          2. There is nothing wrong with doing a nikah (marriage contract) now and waiting two years until you get settled, then you would consummate the marriage. This might actually be a good thing, because you would get used to each other (the halal way, because you would be married Islamically) before you actually start living together, which might make your relationship stronger. So go for it, but only when you have done your thorough research on her (your sister talking with her and her friends, etc).

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          • #20
            Re: Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

            Does nikah mean (culturally) that you would be able to meet and consummate the marriage?
            Or is it just a glorified cultural engagement?

            It's not your age that is the problem but generally long engagements, distant relationships = bad bad idea.

            Btw I do think you need to think about all this more clearly. You seem really fixated on this girl based on your posts and doesn't seem that you are the most objective one in all this.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

              Originally posted by A.Basheer View Post
              1. You getting to know her and having conversations was wrong...... but it's over and done with now, and you did the right thing when you informed your parents.

              2. There is nothing wrong with doing a nikah (marriage contract) now and waiting two years until you get settled, then you would consummate the marriage. This might actually be a good thing, because you would get used to each other (the halal way, because you would be married Islamically) before you actually start living together, which might make your relationship stronger. So go for it, but only when you have done your thorough research on her (your sister talking with her and her friends, etc).

              1. Yes I agree, it wasn't the right approach, I should've informed my parents right at the beginning. I admit that was quite a big mistake on my behalf.

              2. This was the plan exactly!

              JazakAllah khair,

              May Allah reward you

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              • #22
                Re: Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

                Originally posted by Sabros View Post
                Does nikah mean (culturally) that you would be able to meet and consummate the marriage?
                Or is it just a glorified cultural engagement?

                It's not your age that is the problem but generally long engagements, distant relationships = bad bad idea.

                Btw I do think you need to think about all this more clearly. You seem really fixated on this girl based on your posts and doesn't seem that you are the most objective one in all this.
                Well there's varying opinions regarding this. But my view on things is that nikah means that you're legally husband and wife. It is then halal to meet up and talk alone. For me, consummation would take place after I'm settled InshaAllah.

                Again, it's not engagement, you're a married couple. Also, we live close to each other and would be able to see each other quite often, so it's not a case of long distance.

                Well what can I say, I like the girl a lot. I've been thinking it through over and over and even asked advice from a lot of close friends. That's also why I posted on this forum, to see if what I'm doing isn't stupid, so far the response has been quite positive!

                JazakAllah khair for the advice bro,

                May Allah reward you

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                • #23
                  Re: Long Nikkah: urgent advice needed!

                  UPDATE:

                  Assalamualaikum everyone,

                  My dad has agreed with this girl and is completely happy with the situation Alhamdulillah. My mum likes the girl too but she said she won't agree until I follow certain conditions. The conditions are:

                  1. I have to read a certain amount of Quran every day with meaning.

                  2. I have to listen to one religious lecture a day.

                  3. I have to tell her what I learnt every single day

                  4. I have to sleep at 11 every day.

                  I don't know guys, but this seems like religious blackmail. There's no doubt I want to become a stronger Muslim InshaAllah, but I believe that my connection with Allah should be between me and him. Blackmail makes you do it for the wrong reasons. Not because you want to do it, but because you want something out of it. It's a messedbup situation

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