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my family won't let me marry a black man

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  • my family won't let me marry a black man

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HjPfHpyo39g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    A topic not often addressed, but way too many who try to marry outside of their ethnic background go through.

    for more videos, check out family first

  • #2
    Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

    wot

    tell your family. he is not black but the color of chocolate (dark brown)
    https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

    Ephemeral reader

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    • #3
      Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

      Rightfully so

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

        Is he Muslim?
        Why are your parents rejecting him? Isn't only that he is black?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

          Originally posted by Atwork. View Post
          Is he Muslim?
          Why are your parents rejecting him? Isn't only that he is black?
          A lot of asian families do object.

          Its wrong , but its also a fact.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

            Originally posted by peras1 View Post
            Rightfully so
            what is wrong with marrying a black man?
            Ya Allah,
            Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
            "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

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            • #7
              Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

              This is a problem of almost all ethnicities tbh
              يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱعْبُدُوا۟ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُمْ وَٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَتَّقُونَ

              O mankind, worship your Lord, who created you and those before you, that you may become righteous

              Surah Al Baqarah ayah 21

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

                Originally posted by Bismil View Post
                A lot of asian families do object.

                Its wrong , but its also a fact.
                And what are you as Asians doing to tackle this underlying issue?
                Ya Allah,
                Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
                "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

                  Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                  And what are you as Asians doing to tackle this underlying issue?
                  You asking to me individually or about other Asians ?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

                    Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                    what is wrong with marrying a black man?
                    Pay no attention to dumb-dumb. This troll feeds off attention.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

                      Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                      And what are you as Asians doing to tackle this underlying issue?
                      Is this even a fair question? It seems to assume that all Asians are responsible for the issue of families being racist.

                      However, assuming it is a fair question ask, in my humble opinion, I believe all us as human beings can do more to educate everybody, especially those closest to us. I believe that parents disallowing their children marrying spouses from other culture and ethnicities is not my preference. As much as I would love to live in a world where prejudice is absent, I do not believe it is the world we live in.

                      To those that facing such a test, I feel that these are, really, the only choices:

                      1) Listen to your parents and don't marry the person
                      Most people do this as they feel it causes the least harm from a utilitarian perspective. Sometimes it is clear that their opinions won't change, and going through with it will cause more harm and stress than what you could be after. Some people have their views set, and maybe they are not so malicious as being 'racist'. Some of the main objections come from including members of a different culture in the family, different language, all this can make it difficult to gel with the family, I find. Of course, this opinion is one that dies, it may take generations to die, but it can die with children refusing to pass on this culture down their line. The problem is that parents will always think: "Of all the people in the world, why don't you pick somebody a bit more like you so that you have more similarities?" Of course, the child's natural response is: "Out of all the people in the world, why NOT?"

                      2) Don't listen and marry the person
                      Sometimes the cost of listening to your parents all the time takes its toll. Parents, indeed, will say that all that they do is for what they perceive to be the best. At the end of the day, they are humans with limited knowledge. You could break the cycle, and if you choose to do this, it does not give you the right to be disrespectful. As long as you make your position clear, and endow your parents with responsibility for their own actions and feelings. Some will even go as far as to disown their children, but this is THEIR choice, entirely under their control. If this is what they want to do... so be it. Easier said than done, though.

                      3) Wear them down
                      If you are somebody who wants the best of both worlds, then perhaps the course of action that helps is to continuously discuss with your parents, until they realise that you will not change your mind.

                      Overall, it is to do with a very rigid culture that has evolved to be self-perpetuating and self-sustaining. I genuinely feel that only education can change these cultures, and if our parents are truly as rigid as iron, then rest assured that their mistakes will not be repeated in the next generation.

                      Either choice that is made, those Brothers and Sisters are in my du'as.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

                        Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                        what is wrong with marrying a black man?
                        If the family dont think they will find compatibility then they are rightfully allowed to reject him

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: my family won't let me marry a black man

                          Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                          And what are you as Asians doing to tackle this underlying issue?
                          They dont have to do anything if they dont want to.

                          Just because they dont want their child to marry someone very far and different to them in culture does not make them racist, it makes them ideal parents who care about compatibility.

                          This was not a problem 100 years ago but now that there has been a mass migration from muslim lands to the Western lands i guess everything they view as racist is racist which muslims have followed them in.

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