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Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

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  • Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

    Question about this, I volunteer for a local Islamic foundation and there are many fundraisers that I'm invited to from other organizations. I just came back from one fundraiser last weekend where half the women were non-hijabi INCLUDING the people who were walking around collecting pledges. I attended the fundraiser as a member of a cohort with a few other dudes who were friends of mine of a similar age and also unmarried like me, we talked about marry non-hijabis. Each of us concluded that we could never do so, because as reverts we've already seen so many unclothed women that there is nothing special or unique about non-hijabi sisters to us, they are like all the other women we saw in the days of jahiliyah, whereas hijabis stand out more to us. So being unclothed has a reverse effect, by seeking attention you just because "another girl" to us, the hijabis not seeking attention are actually more beautiful to us. However, many bros in my locality who work for the various Islamic foundations marry non-hijabis which keeps the cycle going and is making the non-hijabis feel desirable. What if bros decided on a large scale to boycott all non-hijabis and not marry a single one until they go back to it [hijab]? Would it help? If someone doesn't wear it, and knows that they will still get a spouse then what deters them?

  • #2
    Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

    Many Muslim women don't wear hijab for fear that it will make it hard for them to find a husband.

    Now you want them to wear hijab out of the same fear.

    The motivation to wear hijab should always be for the sake of Allah, not out of fear or to fulfill some dunya goal.

    But we do agree on one thing. I would absolutely never marry a non hijabi. Who wants to marry a woman who dresses like any other kafirah?

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    • #3
      Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

      Asalaamu aleykum,

      I think the best way to get non-hijabis to wear hijab is by inviting them to sisters circles, teaching them about the deen and encouraging them by giving sincere advice. Like Stoic mentioned, Muslimahs should be wearing hijab to please Allah, not to score a husband.

      If anything, these Muslim fundraiser organisers should be encouraging the women to wear hijab by not allowing non-hijabi sisters to work on the stalls and collect money. a) if the event is non-segregated, it is a fitnah (although a non-segregated event is a fitnah in and of itself but nvm) and b) it sends out a message that not wearing hijab is normal.

      Don't get me wrong, I'm all for including sisters in all stages of hijab (I'm deffo not perfect either) to join in the remembrance of Allah and the collection of charity. However, I think there is a thin line between including someone whilst advising them to stop sinning and accepting the person's sin in an effort to make them feel included.
      And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
      http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

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      • #4
        Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

        find out if they are committed to islam, im sure if they are, they'll come around.

        if they are not, thats another topic.

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        • #5
          Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

          There is a lot behind the scenes of a girl who doesnt wear hijab. There are very few who İ have ever met who were actually spiritual or religious because from what İ learned in İslamic school that how you dress is a reflection of your taqwa inside.

          Are you in the West because that changes this subject in totality. Not that İ am making excuse for Muslims in the West, İ had worn hijab there as well but İ have also known a sister who was murdered for wearing hijab. West is entirely different than the East when it comes to dress code.

          We are all just small fish in a big ocean bro, İm all for you promoting proper dress code in these horrible times we live in, and if you do that through positivity and work with just a small circle of people and grow outward you can truly inspire and change things. I would say start with your local community and get your fellow brothers on board with this, but change for the women needs to come from their own idea/taqwa. You have a good idea just keep going with it is what İ say.

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          • #6
            Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

            People get married for various reasons.

            You cannot force everyone to agree with you. Yes you can make it a point to get married to a Hijabi.

            I also wanted to marry a girl who wears hijab , but many do not , and those who wear , mostly are acting like if they are out of the world . Hijab should be for the sake of Allah swt , not to make oneself proud.

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            • #7
              Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

              There are bigger factors and much severe problems with modern western female ideology that we should try to fight instead of boycotting girls not wearing hijab.

              Once you get married convince/demand you're wife to wear a hijab.

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              • #8
                Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

                Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                Many Muslim women don't wear hijab for fear that it will make it hard for them to find a husband.

                Now you want them to wear hijab out of the same fear.

                The motivation to wear hijab should always be for the sake of Allah, not out of fear or to fulfill some dunya goal.

                But we do agree on one thing. I would absolutely never marry a non hijabi. Who wants to marry a woman who dresses like any other kafirah?
                You mean a woman who is not dressed?
                You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

                  I wouldn't marry a hijabi simply being a hijabi.

                  Of course character and hijab is important.

                  Oh and considering the climate it is today, I wouldn't go out and claim a non-hijabi may be doing it out on purpose.

                  Sisters often get attacked.

                  Sometimes even I can't try that excuse, as some sisters go a step further and wear extra tight skirts that could barely hold at the seams.

                  Then I think that isn't really fear of attack, there's something else.
                  And whatever you have of favor - it is from Allah. Then when adversity touches you, to Him you cry for help

                  [an-Nahl 16:53].

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

                    Originally posted by King1234 View Post
                    There are bigger factors and much severe problems with modern western female ideology that we should try to fight instead of boycotting girls not wearing hijab.

                    Once you get married convince/demand you're wife to wear a hijab.
                    After marriage it will be tough to convince.

                    As I said before this kind of things cannot be forced upon someone , that person has to be convinced from there own self. Initially it is job of parents to instill certain values in children when they are growing up.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

                      Originally posted by King1234 View Post
                      There are bigger factors and much severe problems with modern western female ideology that we should try to fight instead of boycotting girls not wearing hijab.

                      Once you get married convince/demand you're wife to wear a hijab.
                      If you force her to wear it she would hate it

                      Also i know plenty of women who have told me once they get married they will wear it but some haven't so far, their next excuse was once they are a mother... wonder whats next

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                      • #12
                        Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

                        Originally posted by *Sweety* View Post
                        If you force her to wear it she would hate it

                        Also i know plenty of women who have told me once they get married they will wear it but some haven't so far, their next excuse was once they are a mother... wonder whats next
                        This

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                        • #13
                          Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

                          Originally posted by Bismil View Post
                          After marriage it will be tough to convince.

                          As I said before this kind of things cannot be forced upon someone , that person has to be convinced from there own self. Initially it is job of parents to instill certain values in children when they are growing up.
                          To boycot women that dont hijab is not the answer. In the end its all personal preference... Some men care some men dont.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

                            Originally posted by *Sweety* View Post
                            If you force her to wear it she would hate it

                            Also i know plenty of women who have told me once they get married they will wear it but some haven't so far, their next excuse was once they are a mother... wonder whats next
                            Well to boycot them is not the solution. No one is perfect

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Refusing Non-Hijabis for Marriage

                              Originally posted by King1234 View Post
                              To boycot women that dont hijab is not the answer. In the end its all personal preference... Some men care some men dont.
                              So you don't care if she wears a hijab?
                              Ya Allah,
                              Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
                              "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

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