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To Divorce or not ........

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  • To Divorce or not ........


    I am becoming increasingly concerned about the number of threads of the late, on the forum asking questions regarding leaving/divorcing spouses etc.

    Alhumdollilah some posters do give fab advice, but at the end of the day this in an internet forum.

    Most of our users are young, single, have never been married and do not have any idea what it is like to be married.

    Generally, I personally feel there really is not enough wisdom or experience here to fully understand and advise on the complexities within a marital bond, especially when children are involved.

    In marital situation, or any relationship, there is more than one person involved and more than one side to the story. Advice is given based on what is written, but only Allah swt knows what really happens.

    I am all for giving naseehah, and being there for one another in a good way, masha'Allah its a very noble thing to do, but please please be cautious in what you ask and what you advice.

    Asking advice on issues and problems should be okay, but on the matter on divorce, I would sincerely advice against it. Divorce is NOT childs play or game, its a serious issue and should not be taken lightly in the slightest at all!

    Of course, abusive marriage are a different ballgame, but again you need to take the correct avenues..

    However what I would say is to speak to your local scholar/Imam. If you do not have access to one, please pm me or email me jenicca (at) and I will sincerely try my best to put you in touch someone.

    There are also a number of helpful contacts here :

    Furthermore if you are giving advice then think thoroughly before you post. Being in a turbulent marriage is difficult enough as it is without insensitive comments.

    Last edited by Jenicca; 31-03-16, 02:28 PM.

    إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْرٍ

    إِلَّا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا وَعَمِلُوا الصَّالِحَاتِ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالْحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوْا بِالصَّبْرِ

    "Yeh dunya daar e faani hain, Tum apna dil mat lagaon, Ganimat samaj zinadagee ki bahar, aana na hoga, yahaa baar baar......"

    Khanqah Habibiyah

  • #2
    Re: To Divorce or not ........

    As always good advice.

    Youtube channel -

    **** Smiling won't cost you now is it ****


    • #3
      Re: To Divorce or not ........

      :up: wise girl
      How merciful Allah on me by giving me respite,and I persist in my sins and Allah shields me :crying2:


      • #4
        Re: To Divorce or not ........

        Yes I was asking others for advice/opinions and some thought that I was going to divorce mrs based on a poll !!!


        • #5
          Re: To Divorce or not ........

          Agree with OP.


          • #6
            Re: To Divorce or not ........

            aoa divorce intahai ghatiya amal ha or yeh Allah ko sakht na pasand amal ha .


            • #7
              Re: To Divorce or not ........

              AsalamOalikum Warahmatulahi Wabarakatuh!
              How are you my dear fellows? Recently I studied about Pakistani & Indian people about how much
              people know about intercourse (SEX), how to do intercourse(SEX) in Islamic way,
              I'm afraid that result shows me some of people knows how to do intercourse(SEX) in Islamic ways.
              So I thought I should do something for them, so I designed a website to let you people know
              how to do intercourse(SEX) in Islamic way (IN URDU/Hindi),
              here's the address --> (URL:
              I have even categories the posts.
              Here are three different categories,
              1) Before Marriage (
              2) After Marriage (
              3) General (
              I'm sure you people don't have any problem with that, but if you have any question don't hesitate to ask me anything my email address is "[email protected]". So good luck and make your life in Islamic way.
              Jazakallahu Khair!


              • #8
                Re: To Divorce or not ........

                Bismillahi Asalam u alaikum.Dear Muslim brothers and sisters. I am in a crisis. Please help with advice. Please only educated advice I respect opinions but this is serious and I need to make the right decision.
                I've been married 5 months. We love each other. Things aren't perfect we have arguments and I've nearly left a few times. Because sometimes he says we're incompatible or he prefers the way other women look and it upsets me greatly. I've tried to forgive his harsh words. But recently I said to him he's not protecting me from haram because we haven't been intimate in a long while, and he only cares about his own needs. Now I would never do haram and I said that I would never do that to him or anyone I fear Allah. I merely said he's not giving me my rights and it's not protecting me. I looked at his phone a few days ago and found out he'd subscribed to a marriage website and was messaging women saying to one of them "as you are my future wife" . When I read this my hands shook and I cried and confronted him. He'd been talking to them for two weeks. I've already had fears he would do this because he looks at other women a lot and he makes me feel sometimes that he doesn't want me.
                Now he wants me to return to him, I'm at my parents at the moment. He says he only did that because I made him feel angry when I said he's not protecting me from haram. But I don't know whether to forgive him if it was a mistake or whether he will do worse in the future and hurt me even more. I went through so much pain I'm afraid to feel that much heartache again. Please advise me. I've prayed istikhara, my family want me to divorce, but I still love him . I just don't know whether to trust him. Ya Allah. I'm so confused I don't know what to do. Salam.


                • #9
                  Re: To Divorce or not ........

                  Very true and good post