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Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

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  • #76
    Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

    Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
    May Allah bless their marriages

    Ameen ya Rabb

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    • #77
      Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

      Originally posted by Zaitoonah View Post
      Another troll?


      Most Somalis marry within.
      Subhan'Allah. I am Somali not that it should matter. And I was stating an observation based on experience.

      I thought this was a forum for people to express their views?

      With all due respect sister you do not know me so please do not insult me.

      I forgive you.
      Last edited by Somali_sister88; 21-05-17, 05:50 PM.

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      • #78
        Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

        Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
        Who said it is permissible?
        it's one of those things that confuse me because culimada somalidu miyaanay ka hadlin arintan? so many of our people still do things like this and i agree it is so deep rooted in the culture that I can't really see it changing anytime soon.
        inanta maxramkeedu hadaanuu ka dhaxeyn oo aabaaheedna ogeyn, how is it wax ilaahay ka raali yahay when they talk to each other even if in a public place?
        Is it not permissible to speak with a non-mahrem guy ? i mean you're not alone together and no touching obviously. Again something i was ignorant on.


        Originally posted by Zaitoonah View Post
        Ma ogalaan laheyd gabadhaa dhashay in saas lagu so xero galiyo? Waa maay, so'maaha? Ilama aha wax uu ilahay baneeyay. Wee sheekaysan karaan, lakiin waa inee ehelkooda ee arrinta la socdaan. Siiba gabadha waalidkeeda.

        Wixi oo dhaqan inoo ah oo diinta ka so horjeeda waa inaan iska dhaafno.
        True, it should be done with the knowledge of the parents. But i can't see anything wrong with speaking to each other at a public setting.
        But again if it is haram, so be it.

        Comment


        • #79
          Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

          Originally posted by Somali_sister88 View Post
          Subhan'Allah. I am Somali not that it should matter. And I was stating an observation based on experience.

          I thought this was a forum for people to express their views?

          With all due respect sister you do not know me so please do not insult me.

          I forgive you.
          Welcome to the forum.
          Tge thibg is we had a lot of trolls previously who claimed they were somalis.They would make very insulting threads about somalis.They said how they hated being somalis, and how somali women are cheap due their marital choices in men.This caused conflict between memebers on the forum and since then some of us have been alert.But honestly the sister is very sweet and kind , it was just a bad judgement call so don't be upset sister.
          I hipe you have a great time here.
          Ya Allah,
          Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
          "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

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          • #80
            Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

            Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
            You folks are lacking in posting etiquette...if you want to communicate in a language other than English you should use the specific area of the forum set aside for it. It's rude to carry on here.
            True, but as everyone does it, it is somewhat normal here on the forum.

            Comment


            • #81
              Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

              Originally posted by patient believer View Post
              Welcome to the forum.
              Tge thibg is we had a lot of trolls previously who claimed they were somalis.They would make very insulting threads about somalis.They said how they hated being somalis, and how somali women are cheap due their marital choices in men.This caused conflict between memebers on the forum and since then some of us have been alert.But honestly the sister is very sweet and kind , it was just a bad judgement call so don't be upset sister.
              I hipe you have a great time here.
              Nothing about my comment suggested any negativity so the response was uncalled for. But JazakAllah khaire for the welcome sister.

              Comment


              • #82
                Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

                Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                Actually akhi other people speak their language when they please on the main forum.However no one pointed it out to them.

                That being said , they should. discuss it English.
                If you see it then you should mention it...

                Comment


                • #83
                  Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

                  Originally posted by itsgiise View Post
                  True, but as everyone does it, it is somewhat normal here on the forum.
                  I don't think it's the norm, the odd work here and there maybe would be ignored but whole sentences are a If you see others doing wrong then you should get them to correct themselves. Anyway, let's get back on topic.

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

                    Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                    You folks are lacking in posting etiquette...if you want to communicate in a language other than English you should use the specific area of the forum set aside for it. It's rude to carry on here.
                    Pretty weird, someone involved in new-muslim support work asked a question in English, they carry on their own chat in somali on the same thread
                    FOLLOW THE NEW BLOG - GINGERBEARDMAN - Muslim, father, husband, writer, defender of ginger rights!

                    www.facebook.com/outreach4Islam - Outreach4Islam have been working together in Leicester, calling the not yet Muslims to Islam since 2006.

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                    • #85
                      I think it really depends on the family. Just make sure you have someone to vouch for you. People are naturally more careful towards outsiders especially reverts so having a somali muslim friend or a brother from the mosque to vouch for you might gove a big edge for parents to accept you. All somalis know all other somalis.

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

                        Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                        Actually akhi other people speak their language when they please on the main forum.However no one pointed it out to them.
                        lol, exactly
                        so many threads where people are speaking arabic and other languages in the middle of the thread
                        شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                        فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                        وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                        ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

                          Originally posted by itsgiise View Post
                          Is it not permissible to speak with a non-mahrem guy ? i mean you're not alone together and no touching obviously. Again something i was ignorant on.




                          True, it should be done with the knowledge of the parents. But i can't see anything wrong with speaking to each other at a public setting.
                          But again if it is haram, so be it.
                          I'm not going to comment on if it's haram or not as I don't know if it will be haram in every case and for everyone
                          but generally, it's not the correct way to go about things, there should be a mahram who can see them at least and it shouldn't be two people alone in public together.

                          [MENTION=67969]Zaitoonah[/MENTION] [MENTION=119636]patient believer[/MENTION] [MENTION=144057]Somali_sister88[/MENTION]

                          You should take this topic to the somali thread. Forget discussing it here. OP's question has been answered long time ago
                          Last edited by Rumaysah~; 21-05-17, 09:19 PM.
                          شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
                          فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
                          وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
                          ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

                            Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                            I'm not going to comment on if it's haram or not as I don't know if it will be haram in every case and for everyone
                            but generally, it's not the correct way to go about things, there should be a mahram who can see them at least and it shouldn't be two people alone in public together.

                            [MENTION=67969]Zaitoonah[/MENTION] [MENTION=119636]patient believer[/MENTION] [MENTION=144057]Somali_sister88[/MENTION]

                            You should take this topic to the somali thread. Forget discussing it here. OP's question has been answered long time ago

                            Didn't know there was a specific Somali thread sis but I responded to the question, I don't have anything else to add.

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Re: Somali Marriage process - how does it work?

                              Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                              I'm not going to comment on if it's haram or not as I don't know if it will be haram in every case and for everyone
                              but generally, it's not the correct way to go about things, there should be a mahram who can see them at least and it shouldn't be two people alone in public together.

                              [MENTION=67969]Zaitoonah[/MENTION] [MENTION=119636]patient believer[/MENTION] [MENTION=144057]Somali_sister88[/MENTION]

                              You should take this topic to the somali thread. Forget discussing it here. OP's question has been answered long time ago

                              I agree with you sis. I really don't like the way Somali people go about this, but it's so ingrained in our culture there isn't much you can do about it. Our people are usually godfearing people who care about the deen but every culture has its shortcomings I guess. I just don't like the looks you get if you say that you don't want to chitchat with the opposite sex without supervision. Not that I say it, because I can already feel what the response is going to be lol
                              I just avoid the topic altogether and give vague answers when asked about it.
                              Last edited by Demure; 22-05-17, 08:31 AM.

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