Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Do you have to have a Walima?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Do you have to have a Walima?

    I recently had gotten engaged and my bride to be and I will be talking about our wedding plans soon. From what I've seen with most Desi weddings, there is generally a Nikkah, however we have no interest in a party and were just going to invite a few close family members to get our marriage legalized. Afterwards the mehndii, shaadi and walima. I am 100% cool with the mehndi and the shaadi however I want to ask my fiance if we can skip the walima

    1. My parents have both passed away and I will have to pay for my half of everything by myself. I am a grad school student and I would rather spend the money that would put toward a walima on something else such as going toward a house

    2. I feel that a third celebration is a bit excessive. I'm honestly not even looking forward to the Shaadi since it's going to be 4 hours of photographers taking pictures.

    Is it common for couples to skip the walima? I'm sure that if I talk to my fiance and explain this to her she'll be understanding. Also my brothers are both married, the first one didn't even have a Shaadi, they just had the mehndi and walima. My other brother only had the mehndi and shaadi.

  • #2
    Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

    Originally posted by teresec View Post
    I recently had gotten engaged and my bride to be and I will be talking about our wedding plans soon. From what I've seen with most Desi weddings, there is generally a Nikkah, however we have no interest in a party and were just going to invite a few close family members to get our marriage legalized. Afterwards the mehndii, shaadi and walima. I am 100% cool with the mehndi and the shaadi however I want to ask my fiance if we can skip the walima

    1. My parents have both passed away and I will have to pay for my half of everything by myself. I am a grad school student and I would rather spend the money that would put toward a walima on something else such as going toward a house

    2. I feel that a third celebration is a bit excessive. I'm honestly not even looking forward to the Shaadi since it's going to be 4 hours of photographers taking pictures.

    Is it common for couples to skip the walima? I'm sure that if I talk to my fiance and explain this to her she'll be understanding. Also my brothers are both married, the first one didn't even have a Shaadi, they just had the mehndi and walima. My other brother only had the mehndi and shaadi.
    I dont know why people are obsessed with weddings, celebrations

    I had a quick nikah/officiant in the masjid read quran, witnesses signed papers and we were married in less than a few hours.

    We had no money for a walimah and I was perfectly okay with not having one or an extravagant wedding. I know a small gathering or walimah is okay but weddings are just unnecessary. I wanted to have a walimah but we werent able to, but we were married which is what counts.

    Marriage is whats important, not how many or how big celebrations are. This dunya is all an illusion anyway.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

      Yes, you can, but ask your bride if that's ok with her and pitch in with the wedding from what I know there's nikkah and mehndi. The we have the wedding (shaadi) from the girls side and walima from the guys side.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

        Of those three celebrations, only the walimah is from Islam. The rest are cultural.

        With regards to walima:

        Anas b. Malik (Allah be pleased with him) reported that 'Abd al-Rahman b. 'Auf (Allah be pleased with him) married a woman for a date-stone's weight of gold and Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) said to him:
        Hold a wedding feast, even if only with a sheep. [Sahih Muslim]


        So you can just have something small-scale for the walima.

        If I was in your position I would just skip the shaadi, mehndi, and all that other nonsense. They usually involve music, girls dancing, and all manner of haram. I'd rather have a short nikah and a small walimah with family and close friends, and done deal.

        More ahadith on wedding feasts: http://sunnah.com/search/?q=wedding+feast

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

          Originally posted by Winter View Post
          Yes, you can, but ask your bride if that's ok with her and pitch in with the wedding from what I know there's nikkah and mehndi. The we have the wedding (shaadi) from the girls side and walima from the guys side.
          I was just going to split the cost for the mehndi and shaadi, pay half and half

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

            Originally posted by teresec View Post
            I was just going to split the cost for the mehndi and shaadi, pay half and half
            Or you could just do as [MENTION=122131]Stoic Believer[/MENTION] suggested because islamically, he is absolutely correct.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

              Originally posted by Sahar. View Post
              Or you could just do as [MENTION=122131]Stoic Believer[/MENTION] suggested because islamically, he is absolutely correct.
              There's no way she'd go for that

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

                Originally posted by teresec View Post
                There's no way she'd go for that
                Well that's a shame.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

                  Originally posted by teresec View Post
                  There's no way she'd go for that
                  Tell her that the benefits of having a walima (islamic) over wedding/mehndi/whatever else (cultural) are far greater and the prophet said to do so. And spending that money on charity is far better than spending it on the wedding. If i had the hadith ..

                  A marriage that starts off with that kind of music, dancing, entertainments is not halal. The desi community thinks its perfectly normal, when Islam tells us otherwise.

                  If she is a decent muslimah, she wont be offended to not spend time and money on something unnecessary and focus on the real meaning of marriage.

                  And she would understand the burden financially, as even a small gathering has a cost. If she loves you, she will agree.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

                    Originally posted by Sahar. View Post
                    Tell her that the benefits of having a walima (islamic) over wedding/mehndi/whatever else (cultural) are far greater and the prophet said to do so. And spending that money on charity is far better than spending it on the wedding. If i had the hadith ..

                    A marriage that starts off with that kind of music, dancing, entertainments is not halal. The desi community thinks its perfectly normal, when Islam tells us otherwise.

                    If she is a decent muslimah, she wont be offended to not spend time and money on something unnecessary and focus on the real meaning of marriage.

                    And she would understand the burden financially, as even a small gathering has a cost.
                    If she was a decent Muslimah, she would have insisted on having none of the haraam stuff from the beginning.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

                      Is a walimah wajib/fardh as part of a nikah ceremony? I've always thought it was required.
                      Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

                        Congrats on your marriage, mashaAllah!!!

                        May Allah place much blessings in your marriage, make your wife the coolness of your eyes, and may He make the union the means of pious Allah fearing Muslims to come into the world.

                        I dunno about waajib/fardh, but Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi wasallam held a walimah after each of his weddings.

                        It's the other 'functions' that you should be cutting out.

                        You don't have to serve 3 course meals though. Feed according to your financial capacity, that's fine
                        Last edited by i.badat; 27-01-16, 11:11 AM.
                        وَإِذَا قِيلَ لَهُمۡ ءَامِنُواْ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلنَّاسُ قَالُوٓاْ أَنُؤۡمِنُ كَمَآ ءَامَنَ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ*ۗ أَلَآ إِنَّهُمۡ هُمُ ٱلسُّفَهَآءُ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا يَعۡلَمُونَ


                        And when it is said unto them: believe as the people believe, they say: Shall we believe as the foolish believe? Beware! They indeed are the foolish? But they know not.
                        Al Baqarah : Verse 13

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

                          Originally posted by teresec View Post
                          I recently had gotten engaged and my bride to be and I will be talking about our wedding plans soon. From what I've seen with most Desi weddings, there is generally a Nikkah, however we have no interest in a party and were just going to invite a few close family members to get our marriage legalized. Afterwards the mehndii, shaadi and walima. I am 100% cool with the mehndi and the shaadi however I want to ask my fiance if we can skip the walima

                          1. My parents have both passed away and I will have to pay for my half of everything by myself. I am a grad school student and I would rather spend the money that would put toward a walima on something else such as going toward a house

                          2. I feel that a third celebration is a bit excessive. I'm honestly not even looking forward to the Shaadi since it's going to be 4 hours of photographers taking pictures.

                          Is it common for couples to skip the walima? I'm sure that if I talk to my fiance and explain this to her she'll be understanding. Also my brothers are both married, the first one didn't even have a Shaadi, they just had the mehndi and walima. My other brother only had the mehndi and shaadi.
                          Is there no way to keep it simple?

                          You could have your marriage in a mosque, invite a few close family members. Walima could be at home.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

                            Originally posted by teresec View Post
                            I was just going to split the cost for the mehndi and shaadi, pay half and half
                            Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Do you have to have a Walima?

                              Originally posted by Figs View Post
                              Is a walimah wajib/fardh as part of a nikah ceremony? I've always thought it was required.
                              Sister, the walimah is a sunnah of the Holy Prophet pbuh.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X