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I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

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  • #76
    Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

    Originally posted by King1234 View Post
    I think you should discard all the advice given by females here, because all I see is that they are making you the bad guy hassan and making excuses for her. You will find the advice given by the men is more logical and actually has some value. Her lying does open alot of questions like, did she lie about other stuff?, did she lie about her past? Did she commit zina? Does she respect you (a woman respects her man would never lie)? Is she loyal? Does she care about how you feel? And alot more questions. You got 1 life, dont waste it.
    Really? Where is your prove ?all the females ?
    If anything it was one brother who said some stupid comment here.
    And also no one should be saying he should get a divorce. This is not an advice you should give.
    If any problem comes the answer is divorce. This is a mockery to our religion. I think everyone should fight for their marriage instead of running away. Make it work ,make dua. Don't take the easy way out please .
    Ya Allah,
    Make me a stronger person today. Make me a better person out of all these. It is no longer bearable for me for my heart is aching and You are the only One who knows how I feel. Nothing is making sense to myself and for anyone else for that matter especially to the one person I wish to understand me better than anybody else.
    "Don't use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you how to speak

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    • #77
      Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

      Just take the advice Allah prescribed in the Quran.

      When you meet her. Advice her, to not do it again, if you catch her again doing it, being suspicious, then abandon the bed, and if you find her acting suspicious again, the hit her with a miswakk, or tooth brush.
      La ilaha illallahu, wahdahu la sharika lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu, wa Huwa 'ala kulli sha'in Qadir
      (there is no true god except Allah. He is One and He has no partner with Him; His is the sovereignty and His is the praise, and He is Omnipotent),'
      Do not say about Allah but Truth.

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      • #78
        Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

        So what happened? any updates?

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        • #79
          Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

          Originally posted by F_R View Post
          so he shouldn't fix his marriage and teach her and guide her to what's right?
          Tbh, fixing a marriage with an issue as huge as trust, that is a big deal that can't be done overnight. and she only apologized because she got caught. Lying/ trust issues make a person literally go crazy. He's always going to be wondering what she is doing, who she is with, etc etc. it's no way to live. And it's not as if she burned the food more than a few times, we are talking about smoking weed and drinking alcohol.
          Allah gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can listen more and talk less.

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          • #80
            Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

            Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
            what is wrong with people?

            If she is as you described then whats to ask? why is she even part of the equation in your life

            dont ask her to leave, drop kick her (metaphorically) to the kerb

            But remember one thing, if you overlooked certain things because you wanted her and now they have become an issue for you then you need a beating and deserve her

            Not being rude there just something I see a lot about brothers who complain about their wives after 6 months or so as if they didnt realise that women have to poop too
            Great to have brothers with wisdom on this forum...since when is smoking weed, drinking, and eating haram meant to be a small excuse..? That is the haram trinity right there!
            Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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            • #81
              Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

              I'm inclined to agree with [MENTION=72222]F_R[/MENTION]. The husband is the amir of the relationship. You should at least try to push her toward good before bailing out, especially if she has other good qualities that you like.

              That doesn't mean you shouldn't consider divorce, however. Personally I would tell her to fear Allah and reform herself. Give her one more chance. Follow the advice in the Quran, and if at the end of everything she's getting up to no good, get out.

              That's my 2 cents. Take it or leave in shaa Allah.

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              • #82
                Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

                Originally posted by patient believer View Post
                Really? Where is your prove ?all the females ?
                If anything it was one brother who said some stupid comment here.
                And also no one should be saying he should get a divorce. This is not an advice you should give.
                If any problem comes the answer is divorce. This is a mockery to our religion. I think everyone should fight for their marriage instead of running away. Make it work ,make dua. Don't take the easy way out please .
                And there you have a woman who says she loves her husband and he is good to her overall, but he has anger issues and he has hit her... and we have both men and women users telling her to leave him. I don't see such posts being made when the sides are flipped (woman vs. husband).

                And yea, drinking and smoking weed with cousin and then lying about it on multiple occasions is far worse than that.

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                • #83
                  Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

                  Let me pose a question to all the people posting in this thread...would you stay?
                  1) You marry a person but have not moved in with them yet
                  2) After marriage, You find out they had a past, you over look it because you are legally married and they tell you they have reformed.
                  3) They smoke weed with their cousin who happens to be of the oppisite sex, you find out, he/she did not inform you. They say they won't do it again
                  4) You find out they have been drinking alcohol and eating haram.

                  As a woman I would be afraid of moving in with this man ...or even if I was a mother, I would not want my daughter to move in with this man,,,
                  Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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                  • #84
                    Re: I'm thinking of leaving my wife :(

                    Originally posted by A.Basheer View Post
                    And there you have a woman who says she loves her husband and he is good to her overall, but he has anger issues and he has hit her... and we have both men and women users telling her to leave him. I don't see such posts being made when the sides are flipped (woman vs. husband).

                    And yea, drinking and smoking weed with cousin and then lying about it on multiple occasions is far worse than that.
                    How can one be good to you and physically abuse you? I dont buy that a good husband can and will hit his wife. Anway, an abusive spouse should be left, pronto. So should the wife of the OP. But that's my opinion and we all have opinions, don't we.
                    O people who take pleasure in a life that will vanish, falling in love with a fading shadow is sheer stupidity~ Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyya

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