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Another stressed muslim divorce question....... help needed.

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  • Another stressed muslim divorce question....... help needed.

    I'm sorry if my mannerism is wrong but i need some advice on an issue. I came to this forum with the intention of gaining some hope because i do not believe my religion will trap me like this as i will explain. im very remorseful about what happened and it is not in my nature to do things like this. im living in complete disgust of the events which occured between us on that night.

    It was Last sunday night, We got into car with intention of just going for romantic drive. Started telling her off about watching dramas as i was already edgy at the time. She was not admitting its a bad thing.
    After some heated debate the convo escalated. i said "even girls from england aren't as bad as you" (as she was not born in the UK). She said "because you know alot of girls dont you"
    I started getting angry very fast and started swearing, threatening her to get out the car and even hit her 3/4 times on her arms. I was angry
    I took her to her auntys house.
    She was holding me back and clinging on to my shirt not to take her.
    My shirt ripped but i was still taking her and hitting her. I called her aunty and told her to take her.
    I told her everything about my wife and how bad she is. Her aunty pleaded and called my name asking me to stay calm and not to please be like this.
    All the time when i get angry i dont realise i get angry, i live in denial, this is a trait of mine since i was a young teenager. I say im calm and this time i said allah ni kasme im calm when they said i was angry.
    I have never been as angry as i was on that day...
    We came home my wife told my mum what happened.
    My mum was saying please my son dont do this please.
    I was not listening to my mum and rejected her, still enraged.
    I came upstairs whilst my wife was downstairs phoning her dad telling her what happened.
    She tried to get her dad to talk to me.
    She said something and i said bootha band kar (shut your mouth).
    She said apna band karo (shut your own).
    I smashed the phone at her head.
    I started swearing and she started swearing back.
    My mum was telling and shouting and begging me my son please stop and my mum was crying but in that state i didn't care what they were saying and i carried on swearing.
    I then said the dreaded "t" word 3 times.
    Then immediately i changed my tone and had realised what i had done in extreme anger not knowing what was right and what as wrong. Witnesses also agree that i was in extreme anger and could tell as soon as i said it i snapped back to reality and immediately almost started crying. My wife also started crying.
    That same night a couple of hours later before id read up that the talaq was valid i spoke to my wife and said i want to go to hajj because Allah will have the answer to all our problems we have tried everything else in our short marriage.
    I was of the knowledge that even if you give the "T" word 3 times... it only counts as once otherwise i would have never ever done this.

    Everyone who witnessed the scenes are all in agreement unanimously that i was extremely angry and in ighlaaq and could not diffrentiate what was right from what was wrong.

    At the young age of 20 i also was using anabolic steroids which noticable side effects include inability to control anger.

    Also after i read up on the basics of talaq not knowing how it was and what it was. I realised even if you give one talaq it is valid and you do not have to give three at once.

    Please i was young ignorant and did not know what i was doing nor understand the aqeedah in regards to doing what i did. If i knew one talaq would be sufficient i would have given it in that state. Rather i did not know.

    Also i have proof that my own state of mind contradicted the truth as my wife has marks of bruising on her arms which i can provide pictures of from me hitting her. I didnt think i was doing as bad as i did but clearly my own mind decieves me from the truth.

    i am so scared for my future as my wife has no mother and she is the only daughter of her family with one younger brother. i believe that if i had surely known the ins and outs of the concept of talaaq i would have never done this and rather just possibly gave one at the very most before doing it the way islam said. i am extremely remorseful and heart broken at this moment in time. Are there any schools of thought from the ahlus sunnah wal jamaat that would consider my divorce invalid or even one divorce?

    please consider all of my circumstances before judging on the outcome before judging my own charachter jazakhAllah <3


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