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My story: Take it as a Lesson brothers and sisters.

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  • My story: Take it as a Lesson brothers and sisters.

    Last time I posted to ummah forum requesting brothers and sisters for a dua, a dua for Job Interview, Alhamdulillah i successfully landed a job. I believe Dua can change circumstances.

    Therefore I am here again..

    There is a reason, and now I understand well why is it important follow rules set by Allah SWT, they are for your own good, they make life easier for you. After I landed my job, I got interested in my coworker, who was also my classmate, and I sent a marriage proposal to her family (directly) initially i thought things were going good, as she was also a little or more interested in me.. i sent proposal to her family after just a talking to her for a day or two. I wasn't attached to her at that time, but I was really interested in her. Well days dragged on to the months, and now its been like 16 months, and I still havent heard anything from her family. Meanwhile I got attached to her, she started talking to me as a friend. She continued the friendship for most months, but it is difficult to hold your feelings inside, i told her everything, she just wasnt interested in me... she just wants to talk to me. she doesn't want me to go away, just want to be my friend.

    Reason for rejection, she was a grade higher than me (essentially earning 150 usd more than I do). Alhamdulillah im good looking, I was absolutely healthy at the time, I teach at a university so its an excellent career wise.

    Dear Brothers and sisters, if anything, please learn from my story.. I took the rejection real bad, I developed anxiety and panic disorder, and depression. Physiologically its so much discomforting, its like carrying a mountain on my back, or sleeping on a bed of nails which is attached to your back all the time. I am barely able to continue my job, but im trying. I have not tried therapy, because of my schedule, also I cannot tell my problems to anyone because of the stigma attached to mental disorders. I just couldn't bare the idea of not ever marrying her, irony is now if she even agrees to marry me i'd have to take medicines just to be able to get through the wedding.

    Kindly remember me in your special prayers, I genuinely need your duas!! i suffer everyday, and I really hope you all understand why getting attached to someone before getting married is such a bad idea.

    thankyou for your time.

  • #2
    Re: My story: Take it as a Lesson brothers and sisters.

    Why did you wait 16 months for a reply?

    I think the family should have got back to you within 1 or 2 weeks af least as it is better to get a reply rather than silence. One sided love never works, you would have been miserable after marriage if she didn't feel the same way.

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    • #3
      Re: My story: Take it as a Lesson brothers and sisters.

      Brother, i do not think the rejection brought all these probelms, it was the fact you were speaking to a owman and becoming emotionally invested in her when you knew her family had not even agreed to you being her husband! I will pray for you... click on this thread of mine for a dua that helps with anxiety..http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...93#post6596393
      Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

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      • #4
        Re: My story: Take it as a Lesson brothers and sisters.

        Well here's a red flag right infront of your eyes brother.. If you ain't even married and you feel that low and distressed then what's it gAnna be like if married?? Much worse perhaps??

        Leave this family, their not for you.. InshAllah you will and can find better. Many sisters out there brother.. Loads to choose from, don't depend on one.

        Also they had no decency to even reply to you, rejecting you so cowardly.. Atleast call you and say no would of been wise, they just left you waiting and hoping. Unbelievable!
        Last edited by Fragile; 24-01-16, 01:10 PM.
        I love you, cherish you and worship you,
        Guide me on your path to your janna,
        Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


        :love:Allah:love:

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        • #5
          My story: Take it as a Lesson brothers and sisters.

          :salams

          Brother she has been talking to u a non mehram for sooo long even though she isn't interested in marrying you, do u want to marry a woman like that? Why r u bringing harm to urself over someone like that? It's not worth it

          Allah took her away for a good reason
          انشاالله u will have someone better
          Please get closer to Allah when u r feeling depressed
          Best Dhikr is :lailah:
          :inlove:
          (Hadith)

          We have one JUST ONE book yet we don't give attention to it :crying_old:

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          • #6
            Re: My story: Take it as a Lesson brothers and sisters.

            Originally posted by shay5 View Post
            Brother, i do not think the rejection brought all these probelms, it was the fact you were speaking to a owman and becoming emotionally invested in her when you knew her family had not even agreed to you being her husband! I will pray for you... click on this thread of mine for a dua that helps with anxiety..http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...93#post6596393
            Come on, he understands what he was doing was not right.

            Originally posted by 1984 View Post
            There is a reason, and now I understand well why is it important follow rules set by Allah SWT, they are for your own good, they make life easier for you.
            Winning an argument doesn't mean you're on truth, losing an argument doesn't mean you're on falsehood.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: My story: Take it as a Lesson brothers and sisters.

              Was earning 150 USD less the sole reason for rejecting you?

              Personally, I think that's a very shallow reason. Rizq does not remain constant. It increases & fluctuates & the person who marries for wealth never finds happiness or contentment or barakah in his/her relationship.

              If you really want to get cured, you have to push her out of your thoughts & move on...really move on.

              I don't see how this can be possible considering you're co-workers & used to seeing & talking to each other daily.

              Take a break away for sometime. Learn to accept it as the will of Allah. The sooner you accept it, the faster you'll get healed.

              Don't cry for your loss. When Allah takes away something from a believer, it is only to replace it with something better.

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