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Sisters I need your views on this

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  • #16
    Re: Sisters I need your views on this

    Originally posted by Umm_Adam_ View Post
    I don't see it as a reward or like I'm doing anything good just he is my husband and I love him, the physical disability doesn't even enter my mind. He has had a limb amputated, but in my mind he is just like anyone else. Maybe that's a good thing or bad thing I'm
    Not sure really. Many people asks how it impacts on the marriage and it doesn't really at all. Maybe it means me being a little bit more patient and make sure things are set in a certain way but hey who doesn't love routine :hidban:
    MashaAllah tabarakallah :)

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    • #17
      Re: Sisters I need your views on this

      Originally posted by Umm_Adam_ View Post
      I do genuinely mean this but when I married my husband I just saw him as a brother in Islam who wanted to get married, I didn't think about how it would impact on our lives or even the reward. Maybe it's the way I look at the world but I just thought he was the right person for me and we both deserved to be happy! :up:

      Ameen sis, I guess I'm just surprised that people think it's rewarding and amazing when I see it as a natural right. I can't explain this properly without sounding either stupid or rude but I basically see him as my husband and not disabled husband? I hope that makes more sense :scratch:

      If you respect someone you see past all of it and you see the person inside. ( I'm getting all mushy now so I'll shut up )
      I believe thats the perfect mindset ukhti and it makes a lot of sense. Your marrying him because you love his inner self, not because you wish to gain reward nor to amaze others, etc. You also view him as a normal person, because in the end of the day, thats exactly what he is. Disability does not change the fact that he has feelings just as you and i do and i see no use in pointing the fact that he has one. It makes me upset when people call others disabled (aloud) because i know for a fact they dislike being viewed with regards to their disability. They wish to be treated and viewed as normal human beings, and unfortunatly many people don't do so. I'm glad to know you view your husband as a 'husband' not a 'disabled huband' ma shaa Allah..

      Dw sis i get you, and its really sweet knowing you have such intense respect and love towards your husband, Alhamdulillah. May Allah swt always keep your heart clean, Ameen.
      All humans are dead, except those who have knowledge.
      And all those who have knowledge are asleep, except those who do good deeds.
      And those who do good deeds are deceived, except those who are sincere.
      And those who are sincere are always in a state of worry.”

      Imam Shafi'i (رحمه الله)

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      • #18
        Re: Sisters I need your views on this

        Sister,

        I personally feel you should view the man, not the exterior. But each to their own.

        However, just to point out the obvious, you may marry an able bodied guy but tomorrow something may happen that results in him becoming disabled/paraplegic in some way.

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        • #19
          Re: Sisters I need your views on this

          Originally posted by Creamcake View Post
          Wa Alaykumussalam

          Yeah I would.

          Are you just generally asking, or something that you're considering yourself atm?
          Inshaa Allah considering it but my family will have hard time accepting it.
          '' WE LIVE IN AN INTERESTING TIME, WHERE THE 'ILM (KNOWLEDGE) OF A PERSON IS JUDGED BY HOW FAMOUS THE PERSON IS.''


          - IMAM ANWAR AL 'AWLAQI.

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          • #20
            Re: Sisters I need your views on this

            Originally posted by Abda View Post
            Sister,

            I personally feel you should view the man, not the exterior. But each to their own.

            However, just to point out the obvious, you may marry an able bodied guy but tomorrow something may happen that results in him becoming disabled/paraplegic in some way.
            True. Exactly you never know what will happen the next moment.
            '' WE LIVE IN AN INTERESTING TIME, WHERE THE 'ILM (KNOWLEDGE) OF A PERSON IS JUDGED BY HOW FAMOUS THE PERSON IS.''


            - IMAM ANWAR AL 'AWLAQI.

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: Sisters I need your views on this

              Originally posted by Umm_Adam_ View Post
              I do genuinely mean this but when I married my husband I just saw him as a brother in Islam who wanted to get married, I didn't think about how it would impact on our lives or even the reward. Maybe it's the way I look at the world but I just thought he was the right person for me and we both deserved to be happy! :up:

              Ameen sis, I guess I'm just surprised that people think it's rewarding and amazing when I see it as a natural right. I can't explain this properly without sounding either stupid or rude but I basically see him as my husband and not disabled husband? I hope that makes more sense :scratch:

              If you respect someone you see past all of it and you see the person inside. ( I'm getting all mushy now so I'll shut up )
              Totally makes sense.
              I think pity is a way of looking down on someone without meaning to (unintentional).
              But when you truly see past someone's disability, you don't even see it as you doing
              "something amazing" or you getting extra rewards than the average person. You just
              see your husband the same way any other sister sees her husband basically.
              *"None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself."* [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]
              "Mindless are those who only jump when told to jump, cry when told to cry, and laugh when told to laugh. Indeed, they are but sheep." TheStrivingUmmi

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              • #22
                Re: Sisters I need your views on this

                Originally posted by Silent being View Post
                Inshaa Allah considering it but my family will have hard time accepting it.
                have you spoken to them about it sis?
                And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                [al-An’aam 6:59]

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                • #23
                  Re: Sisters I need your views on this

                  hmm
                  https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                  Ephemeral reader

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Re: Sisters I need your views on this

                    Originally posted by Silent being View Post
                    Asalam 'aleykum

                    Sisters would you ever consider marrying a paraplegic man???

                    Anyone married to a paraplegic?
                    Yes, I would. I won't decline a proposal by a good brother because of his disability.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Re: Sisters I need your views on this

                      Originally posted by Alina15 View Post
                      Yes, I would. I won't decline a proposal by a good brother because of his disability.
                      You might never have children?
                      '' WE LIVE IN AN INTERESTING TIME, WHERE THE 'ILM (KNOWLEDGE) OF A PERSON IS JUDGED BY HOW FAMOUS THE PERSON IS.''


                      - IMAM ANWAR AL 'AWLAQI.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Re: Sisters I need your views on this

                        Originally posted by Silent being View Post
                        You might never have children?
                        But just because someone is paraplegic it doesn't mean they can't have kids. You may have to seek help from doctors but there is no reason why they can't father your children. (If I'm not mistaken of course).

                        And since this has been bumped - yeah I would consider a paraplegic brother. It doesn't bother me at all.
                        And when it is said to them, "Do not cause corruption on the earth," they say, "We are but reformers." (11) Unquestionably, it is they who are the corrupters, but they perceive [it] not. (12) - Surat al-Baqarah
                        http://www.ummzakiyyah.com/polygamy_not_my_problem/

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                        • #27
                          Re: Sisters I need your views on this

                          Originally posted by EenieMeanie View Post
                          But just because someone is paraplegic it doesn't mean they can't have kids. You may have to seek help from doctors but there is no reason why they can't father your children. (If I'm not mistaken of course).
                          Agreed

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