Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Found out something about my fiance

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Found out something about my fiance


  • #2
    Re: Found out something about my fiance

    wa alaykumussalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

    just to confirm y'all aren't married yet?

    this is your decision, you alone can make it.

    it all depends on whether she is a changed person

    have you done istikhaara btw?

    just to point some things out - she had a bf, and did a lot with him, she continues to speak to that 'ex' boyfriend, (when u 2 are going to get married) yet she flips out when u ask about this?

    there seems to be a lot of red flags here. its not like.. this was her past and she's changed (unless she has), she's still talking to a guy from her past, n sees nothing wrong with this (hence the flipping out on you)

    pls don't be blinded by this 'love' that u supposedly feel. think about it rationally and make istikhaara.

    - what kind of person do u want to marry?
    -what kind of person do u want to raise your children?

    May Allah s.w.t guide you to the right decision. Ameen.
    And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
    [al-An’aam 6:59]

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Found out something about my fiance

      Assalamu alaikum

      I really like [MENTION=131974]Creamcake[/MENTION] 's post... I can't really add anything to it except if that was me and a male that I was interested in, I wouldn't go ahead with marriage because he's involved with a GF whilst also wanting to marry me???? But it's your decision. May Allah make it easy for you.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Found out something about my fiance

        Red flags galore my friend.

        Past sins, are past sins, so forget about those. However, the talking to her ex boyfriend while being engaged to you? That is a betrayal and a lie mixed together. It takes a certain kind of person to maintain ANY kind of contact with a sexual partner while being ENGAGED to someone. It takes a certain kind of heartlessness. Understand that such heartlessness will not just take this one form. It will manifest as a recurring demon throughout your marriage. When she does something wrong, she will not apologize, she will do what she did about her past; i.e. condemn you for asking , and playing the guilt card. A non-penitent spouse will never build the foundation of good marriage, because you will feel as if your feelings and concerns are being invalidated. You will be unhappy.

        Also a deceitful person who is willing to outright lie about anything, is often willing to do things like cheat and cover it up. People like this either have no conscience or can talk themselves into and out of any sin.

        If she valued you and respected you, she would have either said "i don't feel comfortable answering," or she would have told you the truth. The outright lie and then getting caught, is a sign of future destruction. Find someone who respects you enough to be honest with you at all times.

        Honesty and penitence build the foundation for a happy marriage... for when one can apologize, then one can remedy a mistake. When a person is incapable of these things.... run.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Found out something about my fiance

          Leave her. Not wife material.
          You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

          You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Found out something about my fiance

            run a mile mate

            Do you really want that kind of woman to be the mother of your kids. And you will not be able to forget this EVEN after marriage, you will know what she is capable of.

            I know you say you love her however Allah will place love and mercy between you and a pious woman in shaa Allah (and you will forget this one evr existed.

            If you do chose to marry her and she cheats on you in the future then you will also have yourself to blame ahkhi

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Found out something about my fiance

              See if she really does stop talking to him. If she doesn't stop, I would call it off because if she really wanted a future with you she would respect your wishes.
              “Ask forgiveness from your Lord. Indeed! He is Oft-Forgiving.” (71:10)

              Comment


              • #8
                Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Found out something about my fiance

                  but how does one defeats this rebellious stupid heart in ones chest when it comes to decide about things like these??
                  Guys!

                  :sigh"
                  Please Please Please Make Dua for these [URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?455964-Plz-Make-Dua-for-these-members&p=6715010&viewfull=1#post6715010"]Click Here[/URL] JazakAllahi

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Found out something about my fiance

                    Originally posted by GoogleSlayer View Post
                    but how does one defeats this rebellious stupid heart in ones chest when it comes to decide about things like these??
                    Guys!

                    :sigh"
                    Use your brain? Too much Bollywood movies will obviously make you consider your haaart, your dil, your dharkan too much.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Found out something about my fiance

                      Originally posted by GoogleSlayer View Post
                      but how does one defeats this rebellious stupid heart in ones chest when it comes to decide about things like these??
                      Guys!

                      :sigh"
                      I was talking for op btw

                      I wasnt talking for myself :)

                      Alhamdolillah i do not have such problems
                      Please Please Please Make Dua for these [URL="http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?455964-Plz-Make-Dua-for-these-members&p=6715010&viewfull=1#post6715010"]Click Here[/URL] JazakAllahi

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Found out something about my fiance

                        :wswrwb:

                        She did those things behind your back with her ex boyfriend even though she's engaged to you brother. That is not right at all and you deserve much better than that. Loyalty and honesty is very important in marriage. If there's no loyalty or honesty then the family will just break apart. InshaaAllah you will find someone who will respect you enough not to do things behind your back and won't be taking your feelings so lightly

                        May Allah make it easy for you and guide you to what is good for you in this world and the akhirah ameen
                        "Let the days do as they please
                        And be optimistic when destiny decrees
                        Do not despair due to the events of the past
                        For the events of this world were not meant to last"

                        - Imam Shafi'i

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Found out something about my fiance

                          Originally posted by GoogleSlayer View Post
                          I was talking for op btw

                          I wasnt talking for myself :)

                          Alhamdolillah i do not have such problems
                          Are you sure? You don't deal with issues directly... You seem to take the easy option and make a negative rep instead.

                          So if your haaart is dharkaning for someone in real life, I take it you probably write about it in your diary. While she goes off into the sun set with Prince Charming?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Found out something about my fiance


                            Brother, I am really sorry about this but any man or woman who has had boyfriends or girlfriends in their past, is a huge huge red flag for me.

                            Even if she said that nothing happened, how can you easily believe that?

                            If I were you, I would not go through with the marriage. You will find someone better, especially if your character is good and your past is clean.

                            In the end its up to you.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Found out something about my fiance

                              Wa Alaykum Assalaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu,

                              I do not doubt that you have strong feelings for her. However, I want you to ask yourself... were those feelings that you had for her, or the person you thought you knew?
                              I think its important to understand that you had feelings for a person you perceived in your mind, and when reality came to truth, it was not what is good for you, so your body reacted by not sleeping or eating... Even your body is telling you what is right for you. Incline your heart towards Allah swt, and not her. Go pray. And confirm the decision that your body and mind are telling you, and remember there is peace with the remembrance of Allah swt. It is so great that you found out about this before you committed. I'm really happy for you.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X