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Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

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  • Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

    If I want to get married cause Im sick of being alone and frustrated. This frustration often leads me to do stupid things.

    Whats the best way to approach this and are there other guys here who are the same? I figured since I am taking my Deen serious I might as well get married. The thing is that I always saw marriage as a serious thing for older people who want to get children, live in their own house, have 2 cars, etc.

    The thing is I dont want any of that and I think its really hard to convince a girls family to let her marry me just for sex and companionship. Most family seem to look for high status, good job, money, own house, own car

    This is what I really hate and its been bothering me for over a year now.

    There doesnt seem to be a way out.

    Kafir women (impure, can get just sex from but HARAM)

    Muslim women (pure (most), want good job/money/family got to approve/status seeking, but HALAL)

    I really dont know what to do and its really frustrating being alone and sexually deprived. On the other hand I also want to enjoy my youth and my life is hard as it is but it seems the only way is the HARAM way

    Why must things be like this? :frown-new:

  • #2
    Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

    Originally posted by bringeroftruth View Post
    If I want to get married cause Im sick of being alone and frustrated. This frustration often leads me to do stupid things.

    Whats the best way to approach this and are there other guys here who are the same? I figured since I am taking my Deen serious I might as well get married. The thing is that I always saw marriage as a serious thing for older people who want to get children, live in their own house, have 2 cars, etc.

    The thing is I dont want any of that and I think its really hard to convince a girls family to let her marry me just for sex and companionship. Most family seem to look for high status, good job, money, own house, own car

    This is what I really hate and its been bothering me for over a year now.

    There doesnt seem to be a way out.

    Kafir women (impure, can get just sex from but HARAM)

    Muslim women (pure (most), want good job/money/family got to approve/status seeking, but HALAL)

    I really dont know what to do and its really frustrating being alone and sexually deprived. On the other hand I also want to enjoy my youth and my life is hard as it is but it seems the only way is the HARAM way

    Why must things be like this? :frown-new:
    Amazing how you have divided the world into impure Kaffir, and pure Muslims. These childish divisions between human beings are of no help at all. If you're with an impure woman that makes you impure too I guess?? Do you think any parent wants to hear you want their daughter for 'sex and companionship'. Wowee. Roll out the red carpet. Not. They want to feel that their daughter is honoured and taken care of, not being used as your personal sex toy.

    The only way isn't the haram way... but its easier for baby-men to blame external factors for their own weaknesses.

    Don't care what you do, but at least man up and take some responsibility for it.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

      Originally posted by malone View Post
      Amazing how you have divided the world into impure Kaffir, and pure Muslims. These childish divisions between human beings are of no help at all. If you're with an impure woman that makes you impure too I guess?? Do you think any parent wants to hear you want their daughter for 'sex and companionship'. Wowee. Roll out the red carpet. Not. They want to feel that their daughter is honoured and taken care of, not being used as your personal sex toy.

      The only way isn't the haram way... but its easier for baby-men to blame external factors for their own weaknesses.

      Don't care what you do, but at least man up and take some responsibility for it.
      Im just being honest. I dont even have money to pay my bills or buy food. I cant meet those "fake" standards. All im looking for is love that pleases me and Allah

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

        first of all, getting married to save yourself from zina is wise. However no woman wants to be a something you can approach when you feel lonely or want sex. Allaah has honoured the woman and if you can give her what she deserves than marry, but if it's just for your personal needs then fast or get divorced!

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        • #5
          Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

          Someone is mad "my mother is a kafir. Remove ur message she is not impure. May Allah curse you"

          Your message does nothing to me my friend. Kafir women are impure. Not here to discuss

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

            Bro, your feelings are fueled by the Shaytan. He is picking at your weaknesses and he makes you want to think you have no other choice but haraam.

            First it was an idea and now that idea has transpired into actual words you are writing.

            If you actually did go the haraam route and started sleeping around with these so called kafir women, do you honestly think that will satisfy you? I doubt it. The proof for that is, many kaafir guys go through dozens if not hundreds of girls and they are still not satisfied. They still resort to pornography or other weird methods of fulfilling desire.

            Secondly, marriage isn't about just fulfilling desire. That is a false notion and again, it's fueled by the Shaytan and your own desires.

            If a family did give you their daughter just so for that reason, you would never be satisfied.

            If you really want to take your Deen serious then first off (and this goes for me first) you should fear Allah (lower the gaze, avoid haraam contact, etc). Next, guard the prayers and do all your dhikr and busy yourself in seeking knowledge along with your other work. Next, seek marriage for the right reasons. And if you marry in the right family, they won't stipulate all that (house, cars, etc). Lastly, fast and keep lowering your gaze even while married. If you do all that, inshaAllah you will curb your desires and the frustration will turn into calmness and ease.

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            • #7
              Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

              Originally posted by bringeroftruth View Post
              Someone is mad "my mother is a kafir. Remove ur message she is not impure. May Allah curse you"

              Your message does nothing to me my friend. Kafir women are impure. Not here to discuss
              Impure how, exactly?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

                Originally posted by bringeroftruth View Post
                Someone is mad "my mother is a kafir. Remove ur message she is not impure. May Allah curse you"

                Your message does nothing to me my friend. Kafir women are impure. Not here to discuss
                What a disgusting, generalising statement. There are non-Muslim girls who are devoutly religious and would not have pre-marital sex because it is against their religion. Also, how do you know that you can get sex from these Kafir women? There are non-Muslim men who are virgins because women do not want them, people like Elliot Rodger was. How do you know that you would not be rejected as well? And are those Muslim men who seek sex with Kafir women because they see them as easy also impure?

                Your attitude stinks.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

                  Not to derail the thread....but from my understanding the word kafir is very misused. I believe it means someone who INTENTIONALLY hides the truth. That is a "kafir" but id say most non-Muslim aren't truly kaffir they're just ignorant and I dont think we should view them as impure because they probably really dont know any better.
                  Many of them are lost and haven't been blessed with Islam yet like we have.

                  But anyways, to the OP..I understand your pain. But you must realize marriage comes with a lot of responsibility. Its not all fun and games.

                  Your wife, parents in law, and your own parents will have expectations of you. My advice is really focus on a goal. And focus on improving yourself and try to start putting more responsibilities on yourself.

                  Remember many non-Muslims aren't truly having fun. All their relationships and breaking up creates heart ache and emotional scarring. So youre not missing much in case your getting tempted to go into a haram relationship m
                  "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
                  -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

                    We are told to get married to prevent ourselves from Zina so there is nothing wrong with getting married for companionship and relations. But that's not all marriage is about. You have to sit with yourself very well and think are you ready for the responsibility. Not just the bills, the house, the cars and blah blah but are you ready for the emotional aspect of marriage. Are you ready for the fights? The compromises? Can you give her the attention and time she requires? Can you handle the kids? What about if she can't have kids can you handle that? There are many aspects to marriage than just relations. It's great to get married to prevent yourself from haram and I'm not saying you shouldn't get married but I'm saying to think long and hard about what marriage really is and if you can handle it.

                    Now don't worry about women's family wanting just money and whatever you'll find a girl's family who just wants to see their daughter happy and married. Don't over think this part just make dua.

                    As for now fast, fast, fast, fast I can't stress this enough. Don't even go near kuff women unless your willing to cuff her (marry her)
                    Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

                      Originally posted by ss91 View Post
                      Not to derail the thread....but from my understanding the word kafir is very misused. I believe it means someone who INTENTIONALLY hides the truth. That is a "kafir" but id say most non-Muslim aren't truly kaffir they're just ignorant and I dont think we should view them as impure because they probably really dont know any better.
                      Many of them are lost and haven't been blessed with Islam yet like we have.

                      But anyways, to the OP..I understand your pain. But you must realize marriage comes with a lot of responsibility. Its not all fun and games.

                      Your wife, parents in law, and your own parents will have expectations of you. My advice is really focus on a goal. And focus on improving yourself and try to start putting more responsibilities on yourself.

                      Remember many non-Muslims aren't truly having fun. All their relationships and breaking up creates heart ache and emotional scarring. So youre not missing much in case your getting tempted to go into a haram relationship m

                      Kuffar and kafir are to mean Non Muslims. We call Non Muslims kuffar because they reject Islam as the truth. Allah Himself calls Non Muslims kuffar there is no other name for them other than the name Allah has given them.

                      Kufr, Kafir, Kuffar also means to reject the truth. Now Jews and Christians deny that The Nabi :saw: is the Last Prophet. The Jews deny Isa (as) as a Prophet. The Christians deny that Isa is not the Son of God and that he is also not God they also deny that God is One. So all this makes them kuffar.

                      Secondly:

                      The Jews and Christians are both kaafirs an
                      d mushrikeen. They are kaafirs because they deny the truth and reject it. And they are mushrikeen because they worship someone other than Allaah.

                      This kind of proves my point. The fatwa is mostly talking about Mushrikeen and Kuffar but still

                      http://islamqa.info/en/67626


                      Also I dislike this whole "Oh Kafir is not used to mean Non Muslims." It is. I just feel like Modernist don't want to hurt Kuffs feelings. It's not that deep. If it quacks like a duck, walks like duck, than it must be a duck. So it's the same with kuffs. If it talks like a kafir and acts like a kafir than its a kafir.

                      Please let's not try and sugar coat things for the sake of their feelings. If we do this than we will forever be entraped into what they want and water down Islam

                      Found this. It's very well written with many proofs http://islamicsystem.blogspot.com/20...kafir.html?m=1
                      Last edited by Allah's_Servant; 12-11-15, 02:24 AM.
                      Don't depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in the darkness

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

                        Originally posted by Allah's_Servant View Post
                        Kuffar and kafir are to mean Non Muslims. We call Non Muslims kuffar because they reject Islam as the truth. Allah Himself calls Non Muslims kuffar there is no other name for them other than the name Allah has given them.

                        Kufr, Kafir, Kuffar also means to reject the truth. Now Jews and Christians deny that The Nabi :saw: is the Last Prophet. The Jews deny Isa (as) as a Prophet. The Christians deny that Isa is not the Son of God and that he is also not God they also deny that God is One. So all this makes them kuffar.

                        Secondly:

                        The Jews and Christians are both kaafirs an
                        d mushrikeen. They are kaafirs because they deny the truth and reject it. And they are mushrikeen because they worship someone other than Allaah.

                        This kind of proves my point. The fatwa is mostly talking about Mushrikeen and Kuffar but still

                        http://islamqa.info/en/67626


                        Also I dislike this whole "Oh Kafir is not used to mean Non Muslims." It is. I just feel like Modernist don't want to hurt Kuffs feelings. It's not that deep. If it quacks like a duck, walks like duck, than it must be a duck. So it's the same with kuffs. If it talks like a kafir and acts like a kafir than its a kafir.

                        Please let's not try and sugar coat things for the sake of their feelings. If we do this than we will forever be entraped into what they want and water down Islam

                        Found this. It's very well written with many proofs http://islamicsystem.blogspot.com/20...kafir.html?m=1
                        First, please dont accuse of sugar coating, I dislike sugar coating just as much as you do.

                        My position is based on a linguistic understanding of the word and how its used in the Quran. According to many learned individuals such as Nouman Ali khan, Zakir Naik, and even historical scholars such as Ibn Tamiyyah, a kaffir is classified to those who LEARN the truth and THEN reject it. Those who dont follow Islam out of ignorance are not truly classified as kaffir because they haven't rejected anything.

                        I dont want to go into detail and nor do I want to start a debate on this but just look different lectures on what learned Muslim scholars say.

                        And I doubt scholars like Zakir Naik sugar coat stuff, he is banned from many countries.
                        Last edited by ss91; 12-11-15, 02:44 AM.
                        "The duty of the man who investigates the writings of scientists, if learning the truth is his goal, is to make himself an enemy of all that he reads, and,.. attack it from every side. He should also suspect himself as he performs his critical examination of it, so that he may avoid falling into either prejudice or leniency."
                        -Alhazen Ibn Al-Haythem

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

                          Allahu Akbar I think I just got attacked by a Jinn

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

                            Please stay safe everyone. There is a guy in here Im confident he is possesed or has Evil Jinn with him. Wow so scary never realized it was a Shaytan

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Marrying to prevent Zina/Sexually Frustrated/Feeling Alone

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